- Joined
- Aug 20, 2022
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Just a Rant
Well, I'm in very miserable state. I(22M) never have been in a relationship. Rejected many times before, to the point of Im afraid of approaching girls that I have interest towards, knowing that the end result eventually is going to be a rejection. So I made up my mind, its okay to walk the path alone, at least no more rejection, no more pain.
I need to describe myself first, and possibly can give enough detail about why im rejected many times before. Im a 165, fit Indian. I would rate myself about 3/10. Im extremely good in talking, as in to the general crowd, but when it comes to girls, im the worst one out there. I can also say that I have a doormat and good guy syndrome. I do not possess the skills to sweet talk with girls, in fact one begged me to stop trying. I come from a lower t20 family, live comfortably enough. My guy friends would describe me as loyal, supportive and br there when needed. I can also speak Mandarin, English, Malay and Tamil as good as a native speaker would.
Straight to the story, im studying at a mostly chinese institution, im slightly older than my peers. I have gave up on finding gf, but this sem, W's girlfriend, who staying at same condo that i do, her roommate, J, said I looked handsome. W also said that J sees me a in a good light. But there was something else she said too, that was "if only L(me) wasn't an Indian". (J also appeared in my dream once, but I couldn't recognise her back then, but I told W about it, he said that his gf and him talked about to introduce J to me as a joke.) All those years, I heard everything but that, made me fall for her deeply, and started to become the very simp I was, ignoring the very last sentence, as I craved for this validation, this praise. What did I do? I wanted to become better, go gym, be more clean, this was the very first time a girl says I'm goodlooking. She is a chinese, mind you. Going out of my way to get her attention, by sending gifts (fruits). But alas, W told me that getting a girl is not being a caterer, not by sending durians whenever you want. He told me to try initiate convo with her, so I did. It was so cheesy and forced. My friend, T said I lacked severely in terms of charm and mysteriousness when I texts to J. He told me that to try to get into relay, one must sweet talk, pique her interest and more. As much as I want this to succeed, I can already see this in shambles.
For me, talking to girls is like invading their privacy, wasting their time. Ending up I wouldn't even try, because the end result is the same. At this point, some gay guy says I look good, might as well become gay and get on with life. Im not desperate to get into a relationship, but not keen to spend my life alone either. This is just a rant of my inner feelings, don't know who to tell, or why is this happening to me? Maybe im cursed to live alone perhaps. Talking to ai makes me feels like im the best person in the world. Fking yes man chatgpt.
Tldr: I have skill issue in terms of pre-dating.
