In step

[RiverOL]

The Global Mission of the Servant​

The Global Mission of the Servant​

Isaiah 49:1–13​

The global mission of the servant Jesus was to bring salvation to the entire world, and we are called to join in that mission.

Introduction:​

Have you ever felt like your efforts were wasted? Like what you’ve done hasn’t made a difference? We all experience moments of discouragement when our work feels fruitless. Isaiah 49 speaks into that feeling by revealing a Servant who was called by God for a great mission—a mission that seemed to falter but ultimately fulfilled God’s global purpose.

In this passage, God expands the Servant’s mission beyond Israel to the entire world. Jesus, the ultimate Servant, fulfills this mission by bringing salvation to all people. Today, we will explore how God’s global mission through His Servant also invites us to participate in reaching the world with His hope.

The Servant’s Divine Calling (Isaiah 49:1–3)​

“Before I was born the Lord called me; from my mother’s womb he has spoken my name.” (v. 1)

Jesus was called by God before His earthly life began, fulfilling this prophecy (Luke 1:31-33). Just as Jesus was sent, God calls each of us to specific purposes. The Servant’s words are powerful and purposeful, bringing truth and justice.

God has a purpose for your life, prepared before you were born. Are you listening for God’s calling in your life? How can you speak God’s truth with both grace and clarity?

The Servant’s Struggle and Trust in God (Isaiah 49:4)​

“But I said, ‘I have labored in vain; I have spent my strength for nothing at all. Yet what is due me is in the Lord’s hand, and my reward is with my God.’”

Even the Servant expresses feelings of failure and exhaustion. Jesus remained faithful even when misunderstood and rejected. Success isn’t measured by visible results but by obedience to God.

Are you discouraged by fruitless efforts in ministry or life? God values your faithfulness more than your visible success. What areas of your life do you need to surrender to God’s timing?

The Servant’s Global Mission (Isaiah 49:5–7)​

“It is too small a thing for you to be my servant to restore the tribes of Jacob… I will also make you a light for the Gentiles, that my salvation may reach to the ends of the earth.” (v. 6)

God’s plan was never just for one nation but for all people. Jesus declares, “I am the light of the world” (John 8:12). God’s heart beats for the nations, and so should ours.

How are you reflecting God’s light in your family, community, and world? Are you praying for and supporting global missions? Who in your life needs to hear about Jesus?

God’s Promise of Restoration and Comfort (Isaiah 49:8–13)​

“In the time of my favor I will answer you, and in the day of salvation I will help you.” (v. 8)

Jesus brought salvation in God’s perfect timing. Jesus frees us from sin and offers restoration. God promises comfort and provision for His people.

Where do you need God’s comfort and restoration today? How can you extend God’s comfort to those around you?

God’s Servant was not sent just for Israel but for the entire world. Jesus fulfilled this mission by bringing salvation to all people, and He calls us to continue that mission. Whether through prayer, giving, or personal witness, we are invited to be part of God’s global plan.


Pray for one person in your life who needs to know Jesus. Give to support missions locally and globally. Go by sharing the hope of Jesus with someone this week.

Father, thank You for sending Jesus, the Servant, to bring salvation to the whole world. Help us to trust You in times of discouragement and to boldly share Your light with others. Open our eyes to the people around us who need Your hope, and give us the courage to join in Your mission. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

 

[RiverOL]

[td] Want More Persevere(ability)?​ ​ ​

[td] Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour—1 Peter 5:8​ ​ ​

[td] The ability to persevere—to remain strong and steadfast in the face of difficulties and delays and distractions—is a fundamental skill, necessary for any man choosing to devote himself to our King, Jesus Christ. He showed us how in the wilderness and against the temptations that followed (Matthew 4:1-11). Like him, we too must bear up against the pressures of the world, and not only for a while, but until the very end of our days. Though any one trial or temptation may be short lived, there’s always something out there capable of our destruction. Preparedness is paramount. You see, when we’re unprepared and trouble comes (at work, in our relationships, our finances, our health) it takes us down: into anxiety, anger, bitterness, despondency, depression, isolation. When we’re unprepared and temptations come (material, carnal, moral) they too take us down: away from God and into sin. Compounding our lack of preparedness, the enemy is always quick with interference and misinformation. "You won’t make it." "This’ll be long and difficult . . . too long, too difficult for you." "You’re alone, forgotten." "You won’t have strength enough to persevere." "You should just give-up/give-in now, and avoid the grief of waiting, just to give later."​ ​ ​

[td] Okay, so what do we do? Perseverance isn’t innate; it’s learned. All of us can do it if we train. So, brother, manufacture some pressure and train yourself. Push your limits, physically, mentally, spiritually: climb a tough summit; tackle a hike of many miles; fast for a period of days; turn devices off and embrace quiet and solitude and prayer for an uncomfortable period. Remember, God designed you for perseverance. So, by training, you’ll simply learn what you’re made of (plus you’ll expose the lies of the enemy). It doesn’t take much to learn a whole lot about yourself.​ ​ ​

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[RiverOL]

The Voice That Led Them Out of the Jungle​

Who Do You Trust?​

I was recently reminded of an event I had read about awhile ago. It is truly a remarkable story.

On May 1, 2023, a small aircraft with seven passengers crashed in one of the most remote parts of the world: the Amazon rainforest. The Cessna was flying from one small village to a slightly larger one, hundreds of miles south of Bogota, Colombia.


A Hundred Miles Long
Evidently, the single-engine prop failed in midair, causing a forced meeting with the dense canopy of trees and the jungle’s unforgiving floor. All seven passengers were presumed dead. The odds of survival were minimal. The search area was a hundred miles long and twenty miles wide.

It took Colombian special forces more than two weeks, but they eventually located the crash site. When they did, they were saddened to find three of the seven passengers had perished upon impact but surprised to learn the other four—all children, all siblings ranging from ages thirteen years to eleven months—were nowhere to be found. Not on board and not around the crash site.

How Could They Still Be Alive?​

Colombia stepped up the rescue efforts. The government dispatched 150 soldiers, 40 volunteers, and several rescue dogs. Tiny clues of hope were found: a baby bottle here, small footprints there, used diapers. The children had been raised near the jungle. The older ones knew which plants and bugs to avoid. Even so, they were just kids. How could they still be alive?


Days turned into weeks, and desperation grew. Rescuers dropped boxes of food, water, even whistles into the jungle, hoping these would help sustain the children. But day after day ended in despair. After more than a month of effort, the search crew began to wonder if the children were purposely dodging their help.

Turns out that was the case.

Come Out of Hiding​

More than once, rescuers were within fifty feet of the kids. The children didn’t know if men had come to hurt or help, so they refused the ones who could save them.

The Columbians then came up with a plan.

What could convince the children to come out of hiding? The team got creative. They lowered speakers into the jungle and turned up the volume so that a message could be heard in over a mile in any direction. And then, this detail is key, they played an invitation recorded by the siblings’ beloved grandmother telling them to “stay in one place, the rescue team is here to help.”

On day number forty, all four children—emaciated, insect-bitten, weak, and most of all, afraid—were found. Their grandmother’s voice called them out of the shadows.

They just needed a voice they could trust.​

In the work that I do with men, I see a similar resistance that men have towards Jesus. They fear what they might require of them or where He might lead them. I point out to them this great promise He has made to us: “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.” (Isaiah 48:17)

We are told in Joshua 21:45 that not one of God’s promises has ever failed. His voice can always be trusted.

 

[RiverOL]

This Is The Lord’s Table: A Victorious Life​

At the Lord’s Table, we are invited into a sacred sacrament—one that offers transformation, holds profound theological meaning, and provides deeply practical reminders. In a previous post, I mentioned that the Table invites us into a promise of trust. It also reminds us of what true victorious living looks like. This is not the kind of victory heralded by the prosperity gospel, which equates faith with on-demand through declarations and blessings with wealth, comfort, and worldly success. Rather, this is a victory held by Jesus and shaped by the cross: a life marked by surrender, suffering, and unwavering trust in God’s goodness, even during pain and hardship (Philippians 3:10-11; 2 Corinthians 12:9).



This post is part of a new blog series called This Is the Lord’s Table, where I’ll explore how communion is not just a ritual, but a quiet act of resistance—a re-centering in a noisy world, and a sacred reorientation to the Kingdom of God. The first post explored how the Lord’s Table is a promise of trust.

At the Lord’s Table, We Remember Victory​

At the Table, we are reminded that the new covenant is represented by a love that overcomes enemies and persecution. We victoriously remember the promised hope of resurrection after death. At the Table, we are remembering that this is a life rooted not in our strength, but in the sacrificial love of Jesus in which he extends to us. The table is a time to celebrate a victory born through suffering, sealed by death, and gloriously declared in the resurrection (Romans 6:4-5; 1 Peter 2:21-25). In this way, at the Lord’s Table, we remember that this victory has already been won.

When I sit at the Lord’s Table, I face the words of Jesus, who declared, “Take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). Even more, in the resurrection, Jesus overcame death itself (1 Corinthians 15:54-57). This new life—a life of victory over both the world and death—is what God extends to us as Jesus followers who have confessed with our mouths that Jesus is Lord and believed in our hearts that God raised Him from the dead (Romans 10:9). The practice of the Lord’s Table reminds us of this new reality we are learning to live into and live out of.


This means that the Lord’s Table becomes a place of sacred remembrance and hopeful proclamation. We celebrate the sacrifice that freed us from the grip of sin and death, through the New Covenant we receive the Spirit of God who empowers us to live transformed lives, and we are sent out to overcome the world—not by force, but by love, faith, and the enduring power of the resurrection life Jesus has given us (Romans 8:11; 1 John 5:4–5).

The Table Is a Celebration of Victory​

When we gather at the Lord’s Table, we remember that Jesus instituted this practice of the Lord’s Table during a Passover celebration—a meal that has always been a sign of God’s deliverance. Passover reminded the Israelites of how they were liberated from Egypt, saved by the blood of the lamb. In that same spirit, Jesus redefined the moment by offering Himself as the true Lamb of God, a saving act as the sacrificial lamb for those of us lost in our sins and brokenness. We celebrate that God has extended His victory, authority, and Spirit to us. As one rabbi once said of Passover, “To celebrate it is to step into the story.” That’s what we do each time we come to the Table—we step into the story of God’s love that liberates us from the death grip of sin, and we rejoice in how this love is reshaping our love towards life and others.



ADVERTISING

A Constant Reminder of Resurrection​

Since the earliest days of the Church, believers have gathered on Sundays—Resurrection Day—to remember and proclaim the gospel: Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again. To declare this good news victoriously, the early church practiced the Lord’s Table most times that they gathered. When we come to the Table, we don’t just remember the cross—we proclaim Jesus’ victory, the resurrection. We proclaim that death has lost its sting and sin has lost its grip. Jesus tore the prison bars of death away, and now we live as a victorious people, raised to new life. We, too, can overcome sin, the world, and death because of God—God does the work, but we celebrate the spoils of the battle. This is not a militant triumphalism, but a celebration of what Christ has done on our behalf.

We Celebrate Overcoming Power​

As we hold the bread and cup, we proclaim the New Covenant but also the victorious truth that “Up from the grave He arose!” Jesus has promised to drink wine again with us in Heaven’s final restoration. Jesus has gone ahead of us, preparing a place. Now, through belief in Jesus, we are raised with Christ, alive in the Spirit, walking in newness of life. We can go again, because “Up from the grave He arose!” We are no longer defined by the sin that held us or the death that haunted us. We are defined by the One who overcame it all. At the table, we are reminded of who and what truly defines us.

Liberated to Liberate Others​

We are reminded at the Table, this practice is not just for us—it is for the world. In ancient wars, messengers would carry the “gospel”—the good news that victory had been won, and peace was coming. The resurrection is the declaration of God’s deliverance. As we come to the Table, we come as witnesses to a risen Savior, not as mourners of a death, but as proclaimers of victorious new life. At the Table, we declare the truth of John 3:16, and remember that as the people who have been transformed by this story, we are now called to carry the message to others. We find ourselves realigned to the purpose of God’s restorative work at the Lord’s Table, and we remember we are bearers of this good news, called to embody and announce the victory of Christ in our daily lives.

Rooted in a Community of Victory​

Like Passover, Jesus instituted the practice of the Lord’s Table in community. We don’t come to the Table alone. We come together as brothers and sisters in Christ. We sit at the table together in a way that reminds each other that we have a new family, and this family is empowered to remind each other of the victorious hope and Spirit we now live by. In this way, gathered with others, the Table empowers us to keep moving—and help others move—toward the victory Jesus has promised. This shared act roots us in community and reminds us that we’re not only saved from something but also saved for something: to walk together in the resurrected life.

At the Lord’s Table​

We sit down in humility and gratitude, receiving what was accomplished on the cross.
We rise up in joy and boldness, celebrating all that Christ Jesus has done and is still doing.
We look around and see a family formed by grace and grounded in hope.

 

[RiverOL]

[td] Emerging from Isolation​ ​ ​

[td] For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them—Matthew 18:20​ ​ ​

[td] Imagine, for a moment, a man ever isolated, living alone in the mountains, perhaps. Imagine him living a vigorous, adventurous, spiritual life, but lacking community. The knowledge this man would have of God, the knowledge he’d have of himself, would be modest compared to the knowledge he’d have of both, were he to have full access to relationships, friendships, brotherhood. You see, the isolated man may know about God. But, no matter how much he might read and study, he cannot know God. That takes community. We get to know God by seeing his Holy Spirit moving in others. We encounter God, we experience him, we understand him when he works through the love and sacrifice of other people. In brotherhood, we get to show God to one another. And, the more we’re in community with brothers, the deeper our understanding becomes. The isolated man may also know about himself—his talents, his likes, his dislikes. But, he cannot know himself. He cannot know the man God intends him to become. That too takes community. It takes others around him, who know his story, who spend time with him, who watch him, to discern and affirm and call forth things true and eternal in him, things God longs for to emerge. It takes brotherhood to call forth the true man.​ ​ ​

[td] Okay, so what do we do? Confess and repent to God, in prayer. Turn your back on that harsh, judgmental man. Declare that you want to be a different kind of man. Invite God’s training. That’s a bold prayer—so bring a brother (or a few) into the endeavor. Ask him/them to pray for you, speak truth to you, and keep you accountable as God begins to move in your life.​ ​ ​

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[RiverOL]

[td] Trust No One​ ​ ​

[td] The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts—Psalm 28:7​ ​ ​

[td] The Apostle Paul set a challenge before us: "having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor" (Ephesians 4:25). No small thing, that one. We men have such a hard time with transparency, with vulnerability. "I don’t know you guys that well." "I have a hard time trusting other people." "I don’t know everyone here." These and objections like them surface naturally in men facing the prospect of being transparent and vulnerable with brothers in community. We’ve all said them, in some version or another. But, this approach, of hesitating and waiting to open up, waiting to tell our brothers what’s really going on, what we’re afraid of, what we’re struggling with, until we have complete trust of the men we’re opening up to, is foolish and based upon misplaced trust. You see, we can trust no man completely. All "have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). So, waiting for complete trust means waiting for something that’ll never happen. We’re all broken, capable of wickedness even toward those we love most. God, however . . . God is not. So, in him and in him only, brother, should we put our trust (Psalm 118:8). He calls us to be transparent, vulnerable with others, so we must. Now, it might not always go well (at least from our perspectives). That’s okay. It’ll go well from God’s perspective—our obedience to him always does. And, he knows better than we.​ ​ ​

[td] Okay, so what do we do? Next time you meet with a brother or two or three, look around. Which of them do you trust more than God? In that moment, tell yourself: "I trust God. So, I know what I must do" No more lies. No more pretending. No more posturing.​ ​ ​

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[RiverOL]

How​

Fight For Peace




But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace

James 3: 17-18








“I know that every good and excellent thing in the world stands moment by moment on the razor-edge of danger and must be fought for…”
Thornton Wilder



When we consider making peace with someone, what thoughts rise to the surface? Often it’s a painful mix of specific tense, disagreeable memories lingering in our minds and those still emotionally charged exchanges that we recall first. Unconsciously, we stiffen. Something inside of us resists the notion that it just may be our responsibility to take the lead and seek another’s pardon. No doubt about it, going after peace when it’s been misplaced is a gutsy, courageous endeavor. It’s also a journey to be tread with great forethought and care. But, oh, so needed and rarely achieved without some personal sacrifice.

We Have To Fight For Peace​

But there’s another type of peace that gets pushed aside and ignored. This version of peace not only requires internal fortitude, it comes part and parcel with a risk the majority of people are unwilling to take. Possible rejection. Loss of relationship. Misunderstanding. Turn the table accusation. Even so, this formidable peace is not up for debate. The peacemaking process is essential, foundational and offers mutual protection on many levels. Yes, when required, this kind of peace can even save lives.

Relational Restoration Is Possible​

Some might term it intervention; others might recognize this proactive process as restoration. Whatever the term, interceding on another’s behalf and for their long-term welfare is an act of truest friendship. It is a robust and practical way to demonstrate genuine care and every person needs at least one other individual who they know will be brave enough to take on this role of rescue when necessary.

Unfortunately, people mistakenly assume that peace is an entity to be had at any price (that it is the end goal), but it just isn’t so. This feeble definition is shortsighted at best. To assume the attitude that simply keeping quiet over a difficult (destructive) matter is the most caring route to take, just does not cut it. So what does real peacemaking look like when someone you care for is addicted to drugs, alcohol, over-spending, career obsession, etc…?



We Must Learn To Protect And Nurture Relationships
According to author of the book The Peacemaker, Ken Sande, peacemakers see the long view of another’s damaging actions and attitudes and must be willing to take several proactive steps to offer a healthier way. Sande writes that peacemaking includes speaking conversationally with someone by “encouraging self-control, asking questions, clarifying facts and offering tangible help.” The purpose is always to draw a person back from a place of danger. This is the kind of peacemaking that must be fought for, protected and nurtured. Let’s face it. We all need others to help us make peace with those things we are unable to either let go of – or take hold of – on our own. Life can be a battle…let’s fight for each other…peaceably.



Fighting For Peace

• Define the term peace. Recognize that being peaceable often means gentle confrontation that only wants what is best for another person.
• Define the long-term goal of peace. Realize that working through difficult personal issues frequently takes time and during that “in-between” period, necessary tensions might be part of the process.
• Define what it looks like to be both a peacemaker and the person on the receiving end of someone else’s efforts at making peace. Learn to act as the initiator of peace and learn to humbly accept the position of being recipient of another’s instruction.

 

[RiverOL]

This Is the Lord’s Table: A Sacred Pause for Examination​

The Lord’s Table is a powerful opportunity to examine ourselves in a way that moves us towards repentance and confession, and ultimately to greater spiritual transformation and infilling of the Spirit. As we come to the Table, we envision Jesus at the head, inviting us in. There’s a holy pause as we take our seat, like the stillness that falls when we begin to pray, “Our Father.” In that moment, we’re reminded that we’re standing on sacred ground. In those moments, we are aware of our bruises and brokenness.

God’s holiness does not share space, and we quickly examine the shadows of our lives to see what we have brought with us. In a world full of noise, demands, and constant motion, we unconsciously pick up sin, unforgiveness, anxiety, depression, failure, shame, and other sticky brokenness. The Lord’s Table invites us to slow down, remember, and reflect. It’s a sacred space where we step back into the story of God and allow ourselves to be searched, shaped, and strengthened by what the Holy Spirit brings to light in our lives as we gather together. We find ourselves praying for our forgiveness, and releasing forgiveness to others that we have kept from experiencing God’s goodness and liberation.


This is the Lord’s Table Series
This post is part of a blog series called This Is the Lord’s Table, exploring how the practice and discipline of communion or the Lord’s Table is not just a church ritual and tradition, it is also a quiet act of resistance and trasnformation that recenters us in a chaotic and noisy world, it radically realigns us to the Kingdom of God, and reconciles us back to the heart of the Father.

When we practice the Lord’s Table, we surrender ourselves more fully to the work of the Holy Spirit and take part in a discipling act. The first post in this series explored how the Lord’s Table is a promise of trust. Then, the second post of this series looked at how the Lord’s Table is a reminder of the victorious life. This morning, we look at how the Lord’s Table is a powerful opportunity to examine ourselves in a way that moves us towards repentance and confession, and ultimately to greater spiritual transformation and infilling of the Spirit.

Self-Examination at the Table​

Every time we gather at the Lord’s Table, we are invited to take inventory of our hearts and lives. Just as those who celebrated the Passover would retell the story and enter its narrative, becoming freshly aware of their dependence on God, we too are called to remember—and realign. At that Passover meal that birthed the Lord’s Table, as Jesus shared the tradition with His disciples, He revealed that betrayal was near. And in that sacred moment, each of them began to examine themselves, asking if the betrayal could be found within their own hearts.

So it is with us. Every time we come to the Table, we re-enter the story of that first communion. We look inward. We ask: What brokenness and betrayal have I brought with me? What sins, known or unknown, cling to me? At the Table, forgiveness is not withheld—it is extended and waiting. Confession rises. Repentance stirs. And as we surrender again to God, we open ourselves ultimately to greater spiritual transformation and infilling of the Spirit. This sacred rhythm invites a beautiful spiritual transformation—a filling of the Spirit, a re-centering of our hearts.

As we approach the Table, we echo the words of David in Psalm 139: “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” At the Table, we are not trying to impress. We are not pretending to have it all together. Instead, we return to the one who welcomes us just as we are and meets us with grace.

Paul’s Call to Self-Examination ​

Paul understood the importance of examining ourselves before approaching the Lord’s Table. In 1 Corinthians 11:28, he exhorts the church in Corinth—a community struggling with division and disorder—saying, “Everyone ought to examine themselves before they eat of the bread and drink from the cup.” In this prophetic challenge, Paul warns them not to come to the Table in an unworthy manner or with careless hearts. The Lord’s Table is not just a ritual; it is a sacred moment of reflection, one that carries real spiritual impact.

The Didache, an early Christian teaching, instructed believers to confess their disunity before coming to the Table. They knew that reconciliation is part of worship.

If we approach it lightly—unaware of the burdens, sins, or unresolved tensions we carry—we risk bringing judgment upon ourselves. Paul urges us to look inward and to consider what anxieties, sins, or relational fractures we may be bringing with us. This isn’t about perfection, but about honesty.

Jesus taught the same principle. In Matthew 5:23–24, He tells His listeners that if you’re offering a gift at the altar and remember someone has something against you, stop. Go and be reconciled first. Whether it’s forgiveness you need to extend or receive, reconciliation matters to God. It’s clear: before we draw near to God, we are called to make things right with one another.

At the Lord’s Table: What Story Are We Stepping Into?​

One rabbi describes Passover as stepping into the story personally—rejoicing as though we ourselves walked out of Egypt. In the same way, the practice of communion or the Lord’s Table invites us to do the same. The Lord’s Table is rooted in the Passover—where God’s people remembered His faithfulness in delivering them from slavery. Jesus reimagined that ancient meal, proclaiming himself as the fulfillment of God’s provision.

At the Lord’s Table, we ask ourselves, are we entering the story of God’s faithfulness with open hearts? Do we remember that we, too, have been rescued—freed from sin and shame?

There Are Some Focused Moments of Self-Examination​

The Table is not just personal—it is deeply communal. We are one body in Christ. Paul warns against division and pride; the early church shared communion with a heart of humility and unity. At the Lord’s Table, we ask ourselves about what divides us from one another? We examine if there are unspoken divides between me and others in the body of Christ. At this moment, we ask if I am willing to confess where pride, bitterness, or comparison have crept in?


In Mark 14:12-28, Jesus tells his disciples to prepare the meal, but He had already arranged the details. The man, the room, the plan—it was all in motion before they even began. In reflecting on this, we examine to see where God has already gone ahead of us. We consider whether we truly trust that God is already working ahead of us. Approaching the table, we ask if we can rest in the truth that He’s making a way, even when I don’t see it?

As the disciples gathered, they brought with them expectations, distractions, and worries. Questions swirled about who would prepare the meal and what was coming next. We come to the table with many questions swirling, and in examining ourselves at the table, we ask about what we are carrying to the table. We ask ourselves, “What expectations or anxieties am I bringing with me today?” We examine ourselves so we can set down our expectations and anxieties, and be fully present with Jesus.

What Am I Being Asked to Examine?​

In the safety of the upper room, Jesus invites reflection among his disciples. He doesn’t call anyone out by name. But he gives everyone space to examine their hearts. That continues today. The Holy Spirit knocks on our hearts and minds as we approach the table, and invites us to reflect among our brothers and sisters. As we approach the Lord’s Table, are we willing to reflect on our loyalty and motives? We think about where we have denied, avoided, or abandoned what Jesus has asked of us. When you approach the Lord’s Table, it is important to ask, “What am I being asked to examine?

Will I Let God Search Me, at the Lord’s Table?​

It is here we ask, Who am I becoming? The Table holds our past, present, and future. It whispers:

This is who you were. This is who you are. This is who you are becoming. Will you embrace the Kingdom of God, which is at hand, by repenting and believing the good news? At the core of this practice, as we confess, we are reminded this is who God was, is, and always will be. The Lord’s Table is a powerful opportunity to examine ourselves in a way that moves us towards repentance and confession, and ultimately to greater spiritual transformation and infilling of the Spirit.

The more we practice the Lord’s Table, the more we examine ourselves, and the more we say yes to Jesus.

 

[RiverOL]

When the Center Holds: A Tribute to My Father’s Legacy​

Thankful That the Center Held

I have seen the end, and in the end, the center holds.​

Dad was breathing every six seconds or so, Victorian novels had prepared me for the rattle, no book for the sound. Dad, dear old Dad, Daddy, the guy we could ask because he would know, struggled mightily for air.


I did not know what to say. I still do not know what to say, but one thing I said caused his eye to brighten a last time: “Dad. Your work is done. We will take care of Mom and everything else that is left to do. You can go now.”

Or something like this. And the spirit left his body. Dad could only not live, I think, when he knew all was well as it could be. This last term, in his own troubles, he gave me very wise advice and steadied me, but he was done.

The holiday came.

Over the last little bit, a very short time counted in days, Dad began to say he wanted to go be with Jesus. He loved living, his family, and his work, so this was as final as any doctor’s outlook. The spirit was no longer willing and the flesh was very weak.

This gentleman, this rock, was finally worn out.

As young men, my brother and I had tried to list his faults, his sins of commission, and came up with nothing. We went to Mom and she smiled her Socratic smile and said: “Frustrating, isn’t it?” I once asked Dad’s mother, Granny, if he had ever lied and she said: “Not that I know of.”


And not that I know of either.

Dad was not ambitious, did not long for greatness, and yet he achieved greatness. Lewis Dayton Reynolds was steady, reliable, puckish, loyal, and honest. He had little or no vanity. Born legally blind in a culture that encouraged my Papaw and Granny to send him to a home for the blind, they refused and raised him in the local public schools best they could. He managed to become the first of our family in three hundred years to graduate high school, college, and graduate school. His only accommodation was his own father reading to him in college when he could not see well enough to read.

He graduated Magna Cum Laude.

He never put up his diplomas and so I just learned that he made the national freshman honor society in university. Honors did not move him, but the Holy Spirit always could trust him.

He could be counted on, because he did not want anything but the truth and in faith, he saw that Truth. He faced his doubts, but he never wavered in his love of the truth. He got the job done when others wanted to talk about doing something: loyally, calmly, as unmoved as the grand West Virginia hills he loved.


My brother pointed out that dreadful and beautiful day (June 26) when he died that now he can see. His blindness is done.

He can see perfectly now, this man who could see better than the rest of us even impaired. The spirit was insightful even when the flesh was weak.

Dad’s last advice to me was “Be thankful. I am thankful.” This kindness was tempered by resolve. He also told me in one last bit of correction: “No more Mr. Nice Guy.”

OK Dad.

Dad was kind, but never nice. He was merciful, but not a softy, because goodness and truth mattered to him. Dad for over eighty-seven years had battled institutional racism, stubborn boards, and intellectual atrophy. He always was looking for God and so kept pursuing the truth right into the Orthodox Church. . . giving up the ordination he prized to do so.

He was a great man, a central man. Dayton Reynolds, Sub-Deacon Elias, loved truth tempered with mercy.

I was there at the end and the center held. He was the man he had been to the end, if a bit more querulous!


So now those of us who feel unfit must move to the center. We must endure his going hence, because we would not keep him as he was in the end. His work was done. Our own is beginning as those who can not be moved save by the Spirit of Truth.

We are thankful that the dead will live again. We are thankful that his work continues in the school and colleges he prayed over with great faith and gave wise advice to the last year of his life. We are thankful that center held.

We ask for God’s grace to endure our own time at the center with living in truth tempered by mercy.

I will do as I can Dad. Thankful for you. Pray for me.

 

[RiverOL]

50 Years Ago, Nanci and I Said “I Do”​

Tomorrow, is Nanci’s and my 50th wedding anniversary. I thank God for His faithfulness and the time we had together.

I’m so grateful for how Nanci put up with me for all those years, and for being not only my wife, but also my best friend and my closest sister in Christ. I keep thanking God for her partnership and companionship in the gospel. I first heard the gospel from Nanci, and we discussed messages I was hearing at church and youth group for eight months before I came to Christ as a sophomore in high school. Later, we went through Bible college together and were in most of each other’s classes. We discussed lectures and did our homework together.


We wanted to grow old together. If you’d told us when we got married at 21 that we would live to be 68, we would have said, we did grow old together! But when you’re 68, it’s like the new 48. Nanci and I were married in 1975, but we were best friends from the day we met as freshmen in high school, December 7, 1968. She was my closest friend for 53 and a half years. That is a privilege and a treasure. I will not regret the years we might have had but be profoundly grateful for the years we did have—and not just the quantity, but the quality.

In the years before Nanci died, we experienced what it was to love and trust each other more than we ever had. A couple of weeks before her homegoing, Nanci was sitting up in bed, and I was holding her hand and she said, smiling but in tears, “Randy, thank you for my life.” I said in tears, “Nanci, thank you for my life.” I thought it was so beautiful that we saw our lives as so intertwined, we really had become one. We certainly didn’t do everything right, but by God’s grace, He used us in each other’s lives to grow us spiritually, and to make us better followers of Jesus.

Nanci and I knew God to be good and kind and absolutely faithful before her four plus years of dealing with cancer, but we saw Him in so many ways during that time that it brings tears of profound gratitude to my eyes.

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22–23

The memories are so good and so precious that they make me smile and fill my heart. At first after her death, it was nine parts sorrow for every one part joy. A year later, it was five parts of each, and now it is nine parts happiness and one part sorrow. I have wept often, but I experience more joy in reflecting upon her than I do sorrow. There is no despair, only gratitude.


I can’t live without Jesus, and while I don’t want to live without Nanci, that is the way it is, and for now I must. I am sorrowful, yet always rejoicing, as Paul says in 2 Corinthians 6:10. I love that we are to be always rejoicing, instead of always sorrowful—the joy eclipses the sorrow.

It is my wholehearted belief that Nanci’s death was not the end of our relationship, only a temporary interruption. The great reunion awaits us, and I anticipate it and delight in imagining it with everything in me.

According to what Jesus said in Matthew 22:28 we will not be married to our earthly spouses in Heaven, but if they and we are believers, we should not think for a moment that we will not have a great relationship with them. I’m well aware that many marriages have not worked out on earth. But we will all be married to Jesus, and He will never let us down. So it’s not that there is no marriage in Heaven, but that there is one marriage in Heaven, and all of us will experience that as the corporate bride of Christ. (See this article for more.)

I fully anticipate no one besides God will understand me better on the New Earth than Nanci, and there’s nobody whose company I’ll seek and enjoy more than Nanci’s. The joys of marriage in eternity will be far greater because of the character and love of our Bridegroom. I rejoice for Nanci and for me that we’ll both be married to the most wonderful person in the universe.


Also, while thinking about what I would say in this blog, I entered my name and Nanci’s into a normal search engine (not AI) and the first thing that popped up was something generated by artificial intelligence that said I was remarried in August 2024. If you didn’t know that, welcome to the club, because I didn’t know it either. My first thought was “whoever she is, I better get her something for our first anniversary.”

Seriously, I have not remarried, though it would be perfectly fine if I did. But I have no plans for remarriage. Artificial intelligence can be great, but there is a reason it is called “artificial.” �

 

[RiverOL]

Pray For Those Who Take from You in the Cover of Night​

Sometimes we pray things we don’t want to mean, and prayers we don’t want to pray, especially when they are prayed in the moments it feels like peace has been taken from us. Though we pray them because we know we need to mean them and need to want to pray them.




For the last eight days and seven nights, our family escaped to the Dewey Beach area of Delaware for a much-needed family vacation. The breakaway from normalcy was needed and beautiful. We rented a house that we have used for the past three years, which overlooks the bay. The bay, ocean, and coastal beauty were a daily sight. We spent four of those days at the beach, swimming and sinking into Sabbath provided by the rhythm of sea, surf, sand, and seabreeze. This year, my mother also joined us, which made it even more meaningful. In addition to a needed break from the everyday pressures of life, I was able to start and complete three books for my doctoral research.

A Reminder To Rest​

Let me take a sidetrack for a minute and share that as I grow older—and more worn from carrying the weight of dual roles in ministry and family pressures—I am more convinced than ever that Sabbath is not a luxury or an option, but rather a necessity of ministry and life. You and I are not machines. We are not endless on our own, with self-sustaining power like God. Humanity has been created with the need to create space to breathe, to reimagine, to remember who we are.


I wish I had the finances to make these getaways a more regular part of life. If you are not taking these getaways for re-creation (recreation), you need to be taking them. These moments are an investment in our souls, marriages, in our girls’ childhood memories, and in my ability to keep showing up for others in a world that rarely respects boundaries. Life will take from you, the more you get away and invest in your spiritual and personal wellbeing, the more prepared and restored you will be in those moments.

Coming Home to Chaos​

Of course, returning from vacation brings its own set of stressors. There is the fighting through weekend traffic. Packing at the house, cleaning the house, and unpacking at home. There is catching up on the mail and bills. Returning from vacation means cleaning the house and picking up our dog from the Doggie Hotel. We were finally settling back into the rhythm of being “home” when Katie looked out the window and said, “Our tree is broken.”

A few weeks before we left, we had planted a small tree in our yard. It was about the fifth tree we’ve tried to plant around in that same spot in the ten years we have lived here. Our house is at the end of a row in a townhouse community here in Lancaster, and our yard has unfortunately become a popular shortcut.


Over the years, kids, lawnmowers, and passersby regularly cut through our yard, despite our repeated efforts to make it clear that this is a private space. Our garden has been trampled, snapped, or crushed. Our yard, situated at the end of a townhouse row, has become a shortcut for neighborhood kids, teenagers, and even adults. We’ve seen people sledding in the winter, digging in our garden beds, climbing our trees, and even getting into our vehicles and jumping on our closed pop-up camper. A neighbor even drove a car through!

Once, we watched a group of kids throw balls against our siding, leaving visible dents. We’ve kindly asked people to stay out. We’ve talked with parents (who accused us of being racist). We’ve filed police reports. We even installed outdoor cameras to monitor the property and discourage further intrusion. Still, the trespassing continues. It’s disheartening, and what I have felt stolen from me is a safe and quiet place to rest.

Because each of our previous trees had been crushed—sometimes by accident, but mostly by the carelessness of others- this time, we did it right. We braced the tree with stakes. We placed logs around it to block off the area. The garden was extended to include the tree. Still, we returned to find the tree snapped in two.

The Weight of Repeated Trespass​

As I scrolled through the security footage of our backyard, I counted about a dozen individuals—children, adults, even seniors—who had entered our backyard while we were away. All dozen (or so) walked through our garden beds rather than around them. Three guys just walked through looking in our trees and garden for who knows what reason.

Watching that footage, I found myself stressed and angry. Not just irritated, but emotionally tired. Tired of feeling like my home is not a safe place or a sanctuary. I was trespassed. When I am tired from working two jobs—pastoring at River Corner Church and walking alongside the homeless at Water Street Mission—I come home and find that even here, peace is disturbed. Not just disturbed, but feeling stolen from since damage was done to my property. Investments I have made in my yard, trashed.

All I wanted was to plant something lasting. Something that might grow shade and beauty long after we’re gone. But here I was, holding the broken twig again.

Wrestling with the Prayer​

It is in moments like these that the line from the Lord’s Prayer haunts me, “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12, NRSVUE). Some of us grew up learning this line of the Lord’s Prayer by using trespasses, or sins, rather than debts. Most translations say debt—and in the Greek, I believe that this may be closer to the intended meaning. My doctoral research even leans into this nuance: sin is a debt we incur with God and others. That being stated, I’ve always had an affinity for the word trespass. Maybe because it’s easier to spot or understand in our world. Here in this moment, this line haunts me, because I can name the literal brokenness, the footsteps in my garden, the violation of a boundary, the peace stolen, and the debt incurred to the investments of my yard.


I am not dumb. We all trespass. I know I’ve trespassed against others in my life, too—emotionally, relationally, even spiritually. It’s always easier to remember the trespasses of others than yourself, harder to hold on to grace, in those moments when you’re staring at the shattered branches of your good intentions.

When Prayer Becomes Resistance​

A few years ago, I watched a video of singer/songwriter John Denver explaining how he learned to sign the Lord’s Prayer in a Native American visual language. When he reached the line about trespasses, he explained that they had no direct word for “trespass.” So they translated it as, “Those who take from you in the cover of night.” That phrase stood out to me then, and it continues to haunt me. This is a description of the effects of our sin on God, and each other, and it captures what I have experienced. I know where I feel trespassed. Where do you feel that others have taken from you in the cover of night?

Where has your peace been disturbed? It’s easy to sit and stew in those violations. To relieve them. To justify our frustration. To build fences, post signs, and forward videos to the police. All of these thoughts are going through my head. Trust me, I understand the desire to do all of that, I’m also trying to hear the deeper invitation of Jesus. I am haunted by these words that call me to forgive those who have trespassed against me, who have stolen from me in the cover of night.

A Hard Prayer, A Healing Prayer​

Even more than you and I, Jesus knew what it meant to be trespassed against and to be taken from. Jesus experienced what it means to be violated in ways both physical and spiritual. And even from the cross, he prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34, NIV). That prayer Jesus prayed in no way excuses the harm or makes it okay. There is nothing about this prayer that pretends the pain isn’t real. However, this prayer does prevent the harm from having the final word. It will haunt you until you wrestle with the trespass and debt. Tonight, I find myself wrestling with this line of the Lord’s Prayer. I don’t want to pray it, but I need to, and perhaps you do too.


Where is God inviting you to resist the urge for retribution and instead pray painful prayers of forgiveness? Where is He inviting you to say, even with a clenched jaw and an aching heart, “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us?”

A Quiet Life in a Loud World​

As Paul wrote to the Thessalonians, “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you” (1 Thessalonians 4:11, NIV). This has been a verse for me for a few years. I want that quiet life. But sometimes, even that takes courage. So today, I am sipping my coffee, while I hold the broken tree in my hands and the trespassing of peace in my heart. And I pray the prayer I don’t want to pray. Because in the end, even the smallest seed of forgiveness might grow into the very tree that shades us all.

The Lord’s Prayer is deeply spiritual, yet it meets us in very tangible ways—shaping how we forgive, trust, and respond to life’s disruptions. It’s not just a prayer we recite, but one we live. For more reflections on how this prayer forms our daily lives, I invite you to visit my website, jeffmclain.com.

 

[RiverOL]

8 Ways to Bond With Your Stepchild​

Most of the stepparents who contact me for support tell me they had no idea what they were getting into. One stepdad, Steve, put it this way, “I was never a father before, and at the ripe “young” age of 42, I was thinking that I was somehow going to “get by” and become accepted by my stepchildren, primarily because I had married their mother. I was getting by trying to be “nice” to my new stepkids but comments like “You’re not my father” made me feel disrespected.


Different from a biological parent, a major thrust of being a stepparent is to be a friend to your stepchildren on some level. Not like a school friend, but an adult friend more akin to being a guidance counselor or mentor who is also a parental figure.

There are many ways you can develop a positive relationship with your stepchildren if you invite them to participate in activities that interest them and expose them to some of your hobbies. For instance, inviting your stepchildren to share your love of hiking while on a summer vacation can help you form a friendship.

However, it may be more challenging to form a bond with a stepchild of the opposite gender, especially if your personalities clash and you do not share interests. There is no such thing as instant love between a new stepparent and a stepchild. One of the most crucial things to learn about a stepfamily is that most children give love and trust to their parent, but feel that their stepparent must earn their love and trust over time.

Attending some of your stepchildren’s school events, showing interest in their hobbies, and supporting their need for one-on-one time with your spouse can promote a caring relationship. This takes time, years really.

8 ways to bond with your stepchild:

• Stepparents had best proceed slowly: Take your time in getting to know your stepchild. Rushing it may satisfy your own unmet needs to be liked but backfire. After all, you will be most likely be seen as an outsider since your stepkids spent some time alone with their biological parent before you came on the scene.
• Respect your spouse’s relationship with your stepkids and don’t feel threatened by their close connection. He or she will want to spend special time with their children so try not to feel neglected by him/her. Make plans with your friends and graciously step out of their way.
• Have realistic expectations: Just because things went well when you were dating his or her biological parent, does not ensure things will go smoothly once you’re a committed couple. A marriage effectively ends any hope of their mother and father reunifying and can reignite those feelings of loss for your stepchildren. Remember that your stepkids will be there for the duration whether a positive relationship unfolds with you, so step to the higher ground and be the adult role model they deserve.
• Develop a relationship with your stepchildren through hobbies and interests. Sharing interests from sports to the arts can only help you develop a bond. Be persistent if he or she fails to invite you to an event or activity. Keep in mind, you are the adult and need to be the mature one. Say something like: “I’d love to go to your basketball game, how do I get tickets?”
• Understand your stepchild’s view. First, it’s a given that your stepchildren had a relationship with your spouse that existed before you came on the scene. Stepfamilies are complicated and even if your stepchildren seem to like you well enough, they’ll sometimes want time alone with their parent and prefer you weren’t in the picture.
• Stay out of interactions between biological parents working out holiday or vacation schedules. Try to be courteous and respectful of the “other parent”, keeping in mind that it’s likely neither parent would have chosen having their children live with them part-time.
• Realize that love often comes later. Even if you do not hit it off with your stepchild, you can still develop a working relationship built on respect. If your stepchild does not warm up to you right away that does not mean you have failed. Adopting realistic expectations can help you get through some rough spots.
• Cooperate with the biological parent living with you, and talk talk talk. Most of the talking will take place away from your stepkids but be sure to have cordial conversations and informal discussions about family rules, roles, chores, and routines with the kids.

Presenting a united front with your spouse is very helpful to the formation of a healthy stepfamily. This action requires respect, caring and lots of love because it may not be easy to do if you do not agree with your spouse. Caring and respect are especially important, cannot be rushed, and are “earned” or granted over time among all family members.

Always do your best to support your partner’s decisions about his or her biological children. This will help build trust between you and your stepchildren. Remember you are a “competitor” for their parents’ attention, especially when a remarriage takes place within a few years after the breakup of your stepchild’s family. Try not to feel threatened by the time your stepchild spends with your spouse.

Be sure to encourage and listen to your stepchildren’s input so they’ll feel validated. Ultimately you and your spouse are the adults who have the last say on household decisions but showing your stepkids you respect their input will help cement a good relationship in the years to come.

Should stepparents discipline their stepchildren? This is controversial and needs to be negotiated by parents. Experts agree that your role as a stepparent includes helping your stepchildren abide by family rules. In any case, thread lightly on being a disciplinarian – especially if you are a new stepparent.


Keep in mind that the relationship between your spouse and their children existed before you arrived and your relationship with your stepchildren isn’t built on solid ground. It is essential that you know this and honor it. Therefore, if you feel like you are walking on eggshells, you are not alone – most stepparents feel tenuous at times in their new role.

One stepmom put it this way: “At times I felt like a stranger around my stepson when we were first married and I didn’t know exactly how to relate to him. But over time, by showing interest and attending his soccer games, things got better and I no longer feel like the fifth wheel.”

Let’s end on the wise words of author Suzen J. Ziegahn, P.h.D.: “As a stepparent, it’s to your advantage to develop a tolerable, hopefully positive relationship with your stepchild as soon as possible. It will encourage the survival of your stepfamily – and your marriage because the relationship you have with your stepchild may redefine the relationship you have with your partner.”

 

[RiverOL]

When Life Gives You Rain, Dance​

When Life Gives You Rain, Dance


Last week, my daughter and her four children came to visit from the “sunny South.” Little did they know that they would be spending their days in the “Rainy North,” and not just rainy, but flooding. I wrote about it. For many people just across the river, the floods were devastating. There was loss of property and loss of life. At our house one afternoon, we watched as the creek rose …


I look forward to my times with family. Those times are far too few. When I know my “babies” are coming, I try to plan adventures for them. True to form, last week I had an itinerary of activities, mostly outside, many traditional for us. Then the rain started. We canceled day 1 plans and went to a movie. Day 2, the rain did not let up, and I was so disappointed. Still, my daughter and the oldest girls, aged 16 and 17, were content to sit on the porch that inspired my first book, and read. It was getting tough for the 5-year-old and the 7-year-old, though. They’re used to being pretty active.



So the rain poured down and they came out to join us on the porch:



“Can we go out there?”



“Out where, baby?”




“Out there [indicates yard].”



“IN THE RAIN?!”



“Yes.”



“Welllll … ask your mama.”



“Mama, can we?”



“Sure. If it thunders, come back on the porch.”



And off they went. They held hands and jumped from the fourth step into a huge puddle on the sidewalk. They stomped and water flew everywhere. They laughed. They danced. For nearly two hours, those two children had the best time gavotting in the rain! When it thundered, they ran back up on the porch, waited a few seconds, then went right back out. Life gave them rain, and instead of complaining, they chose to dance in it.


Meanwhile, the creek was rising. Frankly, I was getting a little nervous about that. It reached the point where it could have come over the bank. However, the children did not fear. They trusted those who watched over them.



Finally, the rain slackened and we dried them off and went for an old favorite–ice cream supper! So “the best laid plans of mice and [Grammy] often go astray,” This time it didn’t turn out so bad. In fact, it is probably the thing those two children will remember most from their visit.

Lessons Learned​

A couple lessons were learned and worth mentioning.First, as I have told this story several times since it took place, people my age all respond the same way: “Oh! I remember doing that when I was their age! We used to have so much fun playing in puddles!” Yes, I did it, too; my brother and I danced in the rain with not a care in the world. And it didn’t cost a cent.



Second. We danced in the rain without a care, just as they did, because we knew those who watched over us had our best interest at heart. Because our loving Father watches over us, we can dance in the storms of life assured that His eye is on us to call us in if the metaphorical creek rises too high.




Third, it’s easy to complain when things don’t work out according to our plans, but as the old Yiddish saying goes, “Man plans, and God laughs.” Sure, planning is good, even necessary sometimes, but a person should stay open to the fun offered in the moment.

And when life gives you rain, dance!

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.
— Isaiah 26:3



God bless you, and may you never miss a chance to dance in the rain.

 

[RiverOL]

[td] Get Finally Unstuck​ ​ ​

[td] A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity—Proverbs 17:17​ ​ ​

[td] “I’ve got this.” It’s a phrase used often by men, in one form or another. We say it to ourselves; we say it to others. And, most times, we have got whatever “this” happens to be. Every once in a while, though, we encounter something we cannot handle, something we haven’t “got.” Of course, that doesn’t always diminish our willingness to make our “got this” claims still. You see, “I’ve got this” often originates from our need to project images of manliness and self-sufficiency. And so, “I’ve got this” can become a stubborn habit. Even when it becomes obvious to us (and maybe everyone else) that we, in fact, haven’t “got this,” we sometimes continue right on in our stubbornness, telling ourselves that—from now on—we simply must try harder. The truth is, some things are too big for us. But, because truth isn’t always welcome, we often cry out to God instead: “Why can’t I get beyond this?” “Why won’t you help me?” Well, brother, he has helped. He’s given us what we need to overcome even seemingly intractable problems. “. . . though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). While some things are too big for us alone, none is too big for Holy Spirit-infused communities of men—standing together, praying together, holding each other accountable, keeping one another encouraged.​ ​ ​

[td] Okay, so what do we do? Is there something you’ve always wanted to do, but can’t seem to get around to doing? Is there something you’d desperately like to stop doing, but cannot? It is against such things that we must bring the power of community. So, no​ ​ ​

[td] [ 1 min read ★ ]​ ​ ​ ​

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[RiverOL]

How Do You Know If Your Relationship is Healthy?​

Dear Terry,

I’m engaged and considering getting married in a few months to a man who I’ve been dating for about a year. A few of my friends have questions about Todd because he sometimes lets me down and doesn’t follow through on all of his promises. But we have a lot in common and share the same goals. We both value fidelity and want to have a family. We do argue often but usually make up and don’t stay mad at each other for too long.

Most of the time, Todd comes through on important things and I trust him but he is forgetful and tends to put his job first. My parents divorced when I was ten years old and I’m fearful because they seemed happy when I was young and then things when sour. How can I be sure my marriage will last?

Do you think I should put off the engagement? I’m not 100% sure that our relationship is healthy but Todd loves me, he’s a good person, caring, and hard working. Please advise me about what I should do.

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear Katie,

There is no guarantee that any marriage will work out but admiration and fondness are key elements of a successful relationship. You can’t always go by others comments, but you must learn to trust your own judgment. You seem to trust Todd yet question the timing of your marriage. Indeed, if waiting another year or so before you get married, makes you feel more secure, than waiting may be the best answer.

What is the secret of finding a healthy relationship? In his book The Relationship Cure, distinguished American researcher, Dr. John Gottman writes: “It’s not that these couples don’t get mad or disagree. It’s that when they disagree, they’re able to stay connected and engaged with each other. Rather than becoming defensive and hurtful, they pepper their disputes with flashes of affection, intense interest, and mutual respect.”

After all, there is no such thing as a perfect partner. Nonetheless, you might want to ask yourself this question: Is there something about the way Todd treats me that makes me a bigger and better person? If the answer is no, ask yourself: Am I looking to change him too much? Or, am I taking responsibility for my part in our problems? It does take two people to contribute to disagreements.

The following are 7 essential aspects of a healthy relationship:

1. You admire your partner for who he or she is as a person. You like and respect who they are and how they carry themselves through the world. If you can’t respect the way a person lives their life, let alone admire them, it’s hard to keep any relationship going.
2. Your partner is trustworthy. He or she follows through on promises. It’s impossible to build trust in someone who does not keep their agreements or is unreliable.
3. Your partner makes you a priority. He/she values your relationship. Even when they are swamped, they communicate (text, call, or talk) to show they’re thinking of you.
4. Your partner accepts you with all of your flaws, doesn’t try to change you, and takes responsibility for their actions. Life is messy at times. While it’s natural to assign blame when things go wrong, in a healthy relationship partners take responsibility for things they do to hurt each other, apologize, and make amends.
5. 
   
6. Your partner turns toward you and (rather than turn away from you). He or she listens more than they speak. Your partner asks you questions about your hobbies, friends, and family. When you have something important to share, they don’t stare at the computer screen or TV (or ignore you). Also, they don’t make you feel badly for being in a bad mood or having a tough day.
7. Your partner is affectionate. They’re comfortable holding hands and showing other signs of physical affection in private and in public.
8. Your partner talks about your future together so you can create a shared vision of your relationship. Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t include you in his or her future plans. You should talk about your visions for your relationship is five to ten years.

Admiration is a key quality of a healthy, long standing relationship according to Nathaniel Branden. In his book, The Psychology of Romantic Love, he suggests that admiration is the most powerful foundation for a relationship. In other words, if you admire your partner, not just for how he or she acts with you, but for how they operate in the world as a whole, it helps strengthen your love when it is inevitably prone to falter.

 

[RiverOL]

What if we cared about God’s reputation more than our own?​

In an age of personal branding, social media influence, and relentless networking, people spend enormous energy curating and managing their own reputations. From manicured LinkedIn profiles to carefully tailored Instagram posts, modern life is saturated with opportunities (reality = pressures) to build one’s “brand.”

But what if all that effort was redirected? What if, instead of working so hard to make ourselves look good, we poured that energy into making God look good in the world?

Obsessed with Our Own Name​

We live in a culture that rewards, even demands, self-promotion. Whether it’s landing a job, gaining followers, or elevating our social status, reputation is currency. Even in Christian circles, we can dress up this obsession as “platform building” for ministry.

But Jesus taught something radically different. In the Lord’s Prayer, His very first petition is not about our needs or success but about God’s reputation: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name” (Matt 6:9). To hallow God’s name is to honor it, to glorify Him, to make His reputation great in the eyes of others. Jesus is teaching us that God’s name—not ours—should be the center of our attention and desire.

God’s Passion for His Own Name​

This isn’t just our job; it’s God’s priority. Throughout Scripture, God is deeply concerned about His name and reputation. In Ezekiel 36:22–23, God makes His motive unmistakably clear:

“It is not for your sake, O house of Israel, that I am about to act, but for the sake of my holy name… And I will vindicate the holiness of my great name… and the nations will know that I am the LORD.”

In other words, God redeems His people not merely out of compassion for them but to restore the honor of His name among the nations.

Jesus embodied this same mission. As He prays to the Father near the end of His earthly life, He says, “I glorified You on earth, having accomplished the work that You gave Me to do” (John 17:4). His whole life was aimed at glorifying the Father: making His character and worth visible to the world.

What If We Put God’s Reputation First?​

Imagine if we applied the same discipline, intentionality, and creativity we use to build our own image toward glorifying God.

1. Using Social Media for God’s Glory​

What if our posts were designed to highlight God’s grace and goodness, rather than our achievements? What if we shared testimonies of His faithfulness, pointed to Scripture, or encouraged others with reflections that magnify Him rather than ourselves?

2. Relationships that Reflect God’s Character​

In networking, friendships, and daily conversations, what if we stopped asking, “How can this person help me?” and instead asked, “How can I reflect God’s love and integrity in this relationship?” What if every connection became a chance to showcase God’s mercy and truth?

3. Work as Worship​

Instead of working merely to climb the ladder, what if our goal was to showcase God’s excellence through our diligence, honesty, and creativity? Colossians 3:23–24 urges us: “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.”

4. Reputation in Suffering and Conflict​

Perhaps the hardest test of whose name we care about is when we suffer or are misunderstood. Will we protect our own image at all costs? Or will we, as 1 Peter 2:12 says, “keep [our] conduct honorable… so that they may see [our] good deeds and glorify God”? Even in conflict, our aim should be God’s glory, not saving face.

From Self-Glorification to God-Glorification​

Ultimately, this shift is not about willpower—it’s about worship. As I’ve written elsewhere, much of the biblical story is about God restoring His honor in a world that has dishonored Him. The cross itself is God’s ultimate act of “saving face”—not in the shallow sense of protecting His ego, but in demonstrating His justice and mercy together (Micah 6:8).


Through Christ, God’s honor is vindicated, and we are reconciled to Him. Now, as Paul says, “We are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us” (2 Cor 5:20). Our lives become living evidence that God is worthy of trust, love, and worship.

How to Reorient Our Effort​

Here are a few practical ways to make this shift:

•Ask daily: “How can I make God’s name great today in my words, choices, and reactions?”

•Pray Psalm 115:1 regularly: “Not to us, O LORD, not to us, but to your name give glory.”

•Redefine success: Measure achievements by how much they glorify God, not how much they promote you.

•Celebrate others’ God-glorifying work: Rejoice when God’s name is honored, even when you remain unseen or unrecognized.

A Life of Purpose and Freedom​

Ironically, when we stop chasing after our own name, we find the freedom and purpose we were made for. Jesus promises that if we “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness,” God will meet all our needs (Matt 6:33).


Living for God’s reputation liberates us from the exhausting treadmill of self-promotion. It gives our lives enduring meaning—because it aligns with the very reason we exist: to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

So what if we took the effort, creativity, and intensity we pour into our personal brand and invested them in making much of God instead? Our lives would tell a far better story—one not about our own success, but about a God whose love and grace are far more beautiful than any reputation we could ever build.

“Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” — Matthew 5:16

 

[RiverOL]

The Kingdom of Kingdoms​

God created Adam and Eve to be king and queen over the earth. Their job was to rule the earth to the glory of God.

They failed.

Jesus Christ is the second and last Adam, and the church is His bride, the second Eve. Christ is King, the church is His queen. He will exercise dominion over all nations of the earth: “He will rule from sea to sea and from the River to the ends of the earth. . . . All kings will bow down to him and all nations will serve him” (Psalm 72:8, 11). As the new head of the human race, Christ will at last accomplish what was entrusted to Adam and Eve—with His beloved people as His bride and co-rulers. God’s saints will fulfill on the New Earth the role that God first assigned to Adam and Eve on the old Earth. “They will reign for ever and ever” (Revelation 22:5).

Human kingdoms will rise and fall until Christ brings to Earth a Kingdom where mankind will rule in righteousness. Daniel prophesied, “In the time of those kings, the God of heaven will set up a kingdom that will never be destroyed, nor will it be left to another people. It will crush all those kingdoms and bring them to an end, but it will itself endure forever” (Daniel 2:44).


As Christ will be the King of kings, His realm will be the Kingdom of kingdoms—the greatest kingdom in human history. Yes, human history, for our history will not end at Christ’s return or upon our relocation to the New Earth; it will continue forever, to the glory of God.

“Rejoice greatly. . . . See, your king comes to you, righteous and having salvation, gentle and riding on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey. . . . He will proclaim peace to the nations. His rule will extend from sea to sea and from the River to the ends of the earth” (Zechariah 9:9-10). Matthew 21:5 makes it clear that Zechariah’s prophecy concerns the Messiah. Just as the first part of the prophecy was literally fulfilled when Jesus rode a donkey into Jerusalem, we should expect that the second part will be literally fulfilled when Jesus brings peace to the nations and rules them all. Jesus will return to Earth as “King of kings and Lord of lords” (Revelation 19:11-16). We’re promised that “the Lord will be king over the whole earth” (Zechariah 14:9).

Bible-believing Jews in the first century were not foolish to think that the Messiah would be King of the earth. They were wrong about the Messiah’s identity when they rejected Christ, and they were wrong to overlook His need to come as a suffering servant to redeem the world; but they were right to believe that the Messiah would forever rule the earth. He will!


In His parables, Jesus speaks of our ruling over cities (Luke 19:17). Paul addresses the subject of Christians ruling as if it were Theology 101: “Do you not know that the saints will judge [or rule] the world? . . . Do you not know that we will judge [or rule] angels?” (1 Corinthians 6:2-3). The form of the verb in these questions implies that we won’t simply judge them a single time but will continually rule them.

If Paul speaks of this future reality as if it were something every child should know, why is it so foreign to Christians today? Elsewhere he says, “If we endure, we will also reign with him” (2 Timothy 2:12). God’s decree that “[his servants] will reign for ever and ever” on the New Earth (Revelation 22:5) is a direct fulfillment of the commission He gave to Adam and Eve: “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground” (Genesis 1:28).

David confirmed for all humanity the original great commission that God gave to Adam and Eve: “You gave them charge of everything you made, putting all things under their authority” (Psalm 8:6, NLT).

Mankind’s reign on the earth is introduced in the first chapters of the Bible, mentioned throughout the Old Testament, discussed by Jesus in the Gospels and by Paul in the Epistles, and repeated by John in Revelation. From start to finish, we are told that our God-given purpose and destiny are to rule the earth.


God’s desire is to prepare you now for what you will do forever. As any athlete, soldier, or farmer will tell you, preparation isn’t always easy. But it’s necessary, and its payoffs are huge. Our role as Kingdom rulers is not automatic—God makes it dependent on our faithful service here and now.

Are you ready to rule the New Earth? No? That’s all right. God’s plan is to shape your life to make you ready. Are you cooperating with His plan, submitting to His training, and learning to call upon His strength and wisdom?

Thank you, Lord, that as your image bearers, we are still capable of bringing you glory, even in a world that is so bent. Thank you that your purpose and calling for us have not changed. Thank you that you are preparing a world for us to rule—and you are preparing us to rule it, for your eternal glory. Help us, Lord, never to think we do not have a role in your plan for our lives. Help us to fulfill our responsibilities and exercise the spiritual disciplines of meditation, prayer, fasting, giving, and serving others, so that we might be the sorts of children and servants that you take pleasure in commending and rewarding.