I am adopted! Confused!

[Mr Perfect]

For 29 years 11 months, i lived a great life. I have a tremendous loving family. They provided me with all the needs and wants.

I have very similar features to my mother so, I was shocked when I found the adoption papers yesterday in our JB house. My parents were in singapore then. I have a fraternal twin sis that doesnt look like any of our relatives.

All my life, I thought that I was the 3rd child and the birth certs showed that my adoptive parents were my birth parents. The documents I found were the adoption papers and a petition to change my sister & my names to our current name. And there too, was photocopy of my birth mum's IC. She looks exactly like me. From the info, she was 20 when she gave birth to me & my sis & there is no name of the father.

I am a muslim so, if a child is born out of wedlock, the name of the father should be known as Abdullah which means child of god. My 'original' name was radhiyah Binti Abdullah and with no name of the father listed, presummably, I am a bastard child.

There was one time, when i was 5, a lady came to our house and played with sis & I and she called me radhiyah, but at that age, i didnt think anything abt it.

For 20 yrs, the WHOLE family, my aunt, uncles, grandmother etc hid this from us. No wonder my late grandfather had this disgusted look everytime he looked at us.

And I think that my paternal aunt in law knows this lady as her relatives tend to know and show care abt us than anybody else. And they keep asking so many qns.

I have not told my parents abt what i have just discovered. But i feel sad that they didnt tell me. They tolerated with my tantrums, problems etc. And even defended me when i had a quarrel with my 2nd brother. They loved us not like, but MORE than their own children.

Usually, when I look in the mirror i could see both my parents faces, now, i just see a face of someone i dont know. I want answers from my birth mum, regarding health history, who was the guy who knocked her up etc. so many qns. It's just that I dont want to offend or hurt my parents feelings by searching for her. I dont want her love, I had plenty from my parents, I just want answers. I dont want to be thought as being ungrateful.

I am just sad that I am not related to them by blood. I couldnt stop thinking for this matter. Everything else doesnt seem to matter, i minute i am angry boys and now i am just angry at FATE!!!!! or whatever.

What should I do?

 

[HTOLAS]

Seek professional help.
I will not say anything beyond this, and I hope no one else will either.

 

[kulgai]

Why is it important to identify the natural parents? Why is it important to know the reasons for abandoning her? What's most important is that the adoptive parents have fulfilled their responsibilities responsibly.

 

[shOUTloud]

I am sorry but I think you are FUCKING STUPID. Many have natural parents who were abusing them and you have loving parents and you get all hang up over the fact that they are not your blood parents.

 

[SIFU]

ermm. hello to all guys here :

the TS is a fraud lah. he damn fucking boliao type. u do a search on his previous post and will know he is copy n paste from other forum. last time he say his father (or is it mother) died. now he say this.

KNN :oIo::oIo: TS.

bro yellow people already monitoring this piece of shit.

 

[SneeringTree]

What an idiot. To think I feel for his "my father died" ruse. I have just given him an infraction for "spam/unauthorised ad". I encourage more of us to do so.

 

[wikiphile]

The next thread from TS is..."I am a woman in a man's body" HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA!

 

[aangsc]

For 29 years 11 months, i lived a great life. I have a tremendous loving family. They provided me with all the needs and wants.

Hey, wake up. You already mentioned well that you have a great life which mean your adopted parents are providing the best they could for you , why are you complaining ? Your real parents may also have good intention when they give you up for adoption. Maybe they cannot afford or something else. Look at positive side and continue with your good life. Okay , you want to know the truth but that should not change your attitude to ones who bring you up until now. I know of someone like you. She said her blood group cannot be from parents as scientifically it is not possible. So what, dis-regard them after they have sacrifice so much to bring you up? I don't think so.

What should you do ? Do NOTHING . When they decide to let the secret out, just tell them you already know and it does not matter , most important thank them for all the years of upbringing and you should treat them like your real parents. Case closed.

Whether your case if real or not....never mind. For those who are adopted and feel like you. I would said the same unless you come from a well to do family and was given away and end up as a beggar...that's another story.

 

[leetahsar]

For 29 years 11 months

hum ka charn

dui lei lo mo fa hai!

 

[vamjok]

For 29 years 11 months, i lived a great life. I have a tremendous loving family. They provided me with all the needs and wants.

I have very similar features to my mother so, I was shocked when I found the adoption papers yesterday in our JB house. My parents were in singapore then. I have a fraternal twin sis that doesnt look like any of our relatives.

All my life, I thought that I was the 3rd child and the birth certs showed that my adoptive parents were my birth parents. The documents I found were the adoption papers and a petition to change my sister & my names to our current name. And there too, was photocopy of my birth mum's IC. She looks exactly like me. From the info, she was 20 when she gave birth to me & my sis & there is no name of the father.

I am a muslim so, if a child is born out of wedlock, the name of the father should be known as Abdullah which means child of god. My 'original' name was radhiyah Binti Abdullah and with no name of the father listed, presummably, I am a bastard child.

There was one time, when i was 5, a lady came to our house and played with sis & I and she called me radhiyah, but at that age, i didnt think anything abt it.

For 20 yrs, the WHOLE family, my aunt, uncles, grandmother etc hid this from us. No wonder my late grandfather had this disgusted look everytime he looked at us.

And I think that my paternal aunt in law knows this lady as her relatives tend to know and show care abt us than anybody else. And they keep asking so many qns.

I have not told my parents abt what i have just discovered. But i feel sad that they didnt tell me. They tolerated with my tantrums, problems etc. And even defended me when i had a quarrel with my 2nd brother. They loved us not like, but MORE than their own children.

Usually, when I look in the mirror i could see both my parents faces, now, i just see a face of someone i dont know. I want answers from my birth mum, regarding health history, who was the guy who knocked her up etc. so many qns. It's just that I dont want to offend or hurt my parents feelings by searching for her. I dont want her love, I had plenty from my parents, I just want answers. I dont want to be thought as being ungrateful.

I am just sad that I am not related to them by blood. I couldnt stop thinking for this matter. Everything else doesnt seem to matter, i minute i am angry boys and now i am just angry at FATE!!!!! or whatever.

What should I do?

i think you had mentioned in the forum that ur dad and mum just died few days ago, i think the problem has already resolve by itself