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Peasantpore: Minion for Merchantile Policy Hairdo Lim Hing Klang said in Imperial Court on Monday that Peasantpore's peasants and serfs are cheap despite the sluggish economic performance.
Citing the 2012 World Economic Forum's Global Peasant Exploitation Index, he said Peasantpore maintained its ranking at the second position when it cums to exploiting peasants and serfs for profits.
Recent economic estimates showed the Peasantpore economy had contracted by 1.5 per cent in the third quarter, on a quarter-on-quarter seasonally adjusted annualised basis, thanks to the silly Greeks and Spanish donkeys taking the Europeans for a merry-go-round.
However, the Minion said Peasantpore has not entered into a technical recession as he has already cooked the books to ensure a handsome year-end bonus for himself. Hairdo Lim conceded cooking the books has its limitations because he cannot convince peasants that the Golden Age is still at hand.
Hairdo Lim blamed the muted economic growth due to the challenging global economic conditions, gifts from the lazy Ang Moh Europeans and irresponsible Yankee dollar printing exercise. Ang Mohs are unable to purchase Peasantpore's goods and services which slowed her exports growth and caused its current account surplus from rent extraction to decline from S$35 billion in the first half of 2011 to S$27 billion in the first half of this year.
Over the medium term, Hairdo Lim said the strengthening of the Singapore dollar is a key macro-economic policy tool to keep inflation in check else peasants will blame Ruler Loong for the cock-up and make him pay during Procedural Erections 2016.
However, the exchange rate cannot be used as a tool to manage Peasantpore's export competitiveness because the island cannot afford a currency war with more experienced Ang Mohs or Nihons.
Hairdo Lim said competitiveness can only be achieved over the long-term, through using cheap foreign labour to retain foreign merchants. He exhort more peasants to get their hair cuts so that they can generate some income for barbers.
"We must give face to Uncle Sam, they devalue the dollar, we cannot play punk and devalue Sing Dollar too lor. Uncle Sam tulan with us, will surely give Ruler Loong a bad time and allow Commie PRC to cause trouble. Strong Sing dollar temper inflation or there will be open revolt like the Arab Spring," said Hairdo Lim.
"Given that use S-Pass loophole to bring in more foreign talents, our foreign merchants remain healthy. If they happy and profitable, then Ruler Loong can tax them and pay us million dollar stipends. Plus Ho Jinx can continue with her losing spree overseas lor. Do not rock the boat, peasants, do what Boy George Yeo used to say, 'no big, no small'. Every day make fun of Ruler Loong, cannot ok. You peasants, especially the netizens think make life bad for Ruler Loong very amusing huh, wait till I give those vocal troublesome netizens a lumpar hairdo ok," he sneered while trying to meet Bapok Gan for a hairdo.
Peasantpore: Minion for Merchantile Policy Hairdo Lim Hing Klang said in Imperial Court on Monday that Peasantpore's peasants and serfs are cheap despite the sluggish economic performance.
Citing the 2012 World Economic Forum's Global Peasant Exploitation Index, he said Peasantpore maintained its ranking at the second position when it cums to exploiting peasants and serfs for profits.
Recent economic estimates showed the Peasantpore economy had contracted by 1.5 per cent in the third quarter, on a quarter-on-quarter seasonally adjusted annualised basis, thanks to the silly Greeks and Spanish donkeys taking the Europeans for a merry-go-round.
However, the Minion said Peasantpore has not entered into a technical recession as he has already cooked the books to ensure a handsome year-end bonus for himself. Hairdo Lim conceded cooking the books has its limitations because he cannot convince peasants that the Golden Age is still at hand.
Hairdo Lim blamed the muted economic growth due to the challenging global economic conditions, gifts from the lazy Ang Moh Europeans and irresponsible Yankee dollar printing exercise. Ang Mohs are unable to purchase Peasantpore's goods and services which slowed her exports growth and caused its current account surplus from rent extraction to decline from S$35 billion in the first half of 2011 to S$27 billion in the first half of this year.
Over the medium term, Hairdo Lim said the strengthening of the Singapore dollar is a key macro-economic policy tool to keep inflation in check else peasants will blame Ruler Loong for the cock-up and make him pay during Procedural Erections 2016.
However, the exchange rate cannot be used as a tool to manage Peasantpore's export competitiveness because the island cannot afford a currency war with more experienced Ang Mohs or Nihons.
Hairdo Lim said competitiveness can only be achieved over the long-term, through using cheap foreign labour to retain foreign merchants. He exhort more peasants to get their hair cuts so that they can generate some income for barbers.
"We must give face to Uncle Sam, they devalue the dollar, we cannot play punk and devalue Sing Dollar too lor. Uncle Sam tulan with us, will surely give Ruler Loong a bad time and allow Commie PRC to cause trouble. Strong Sing dollar temper inflation or there will be open revolt like the Arab Spring," said Hairdo Lim.
"Given that use S-Pass loophole to bring in more foreign talents, our foreign merchants remain healthy. If they happy and profitable, then Ruler Loong can tax them and pay us million dollar stipends. Plus Ho Jinx can continue with her losing spree overseas lor. Do not rock the boat, peasants, do what Boy George Yeo used to say, 'no big, no small'. Every day make fun of Ruler Loong, cannot ok. You peasants, especially the netizens think make life bad for Ruler Loong very amusing huh, wait till I give those vocal troublesome netizens a lumpar hairdo ok," he sneered while trying to meet Bapok Gan for a hairdo.
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