dear leader (with captions)

"when internet is down, use this to watch your favorite program: porcupine porn."

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"dear leader, when all else fails, this is the escape route to china. they have american fast food there."

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"dear leader, this is your survival kit. you should have enough food to make it to china. instructions to cook instant noodles are on this book."

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"i want all traitors and political detainees to have their balls removed here."

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"i want all regiments to have this 55-inch flat screen tv strictly for propaganda. no porcupine porn for them."

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back on the shift! :D

"i remember i wore this when my dad was dear leader."

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"this brings back fond memories, hiding in the closet and having fun with malcolm and benny."

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"dear leader, all these torture tools were used on your uncle, before we turned him into steak for the dogs."

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"dear leader, there are altogether 8 probes. 2 for the head, 2 for tits, 2 for testicles, 1 for his manhood, and 1 goes up his arse."

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"all these for me? looks like i have to watch my weight, compete with froggy on food pics, and piss off tony at the same time."

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"dear leader, inside all these machines are south korean prisoners sentenced to a lifetime of production slavery."

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"dear leader, i can activate this infra-red laser with an app on my iphone."

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