Couples' Problems

[jw5]

We seem to be reading quite a lot of news about couples with problems recently. Sad to say, some of the stories have ended in tragedy, with deaths of either one or both. Some, we do not even know what or why it happened.

But one thing I want to say here, is that when couples have problems, they really should not commit suicide or even kill the other or worse, kill the children, even if it concerns great emotional distress like infidelity or financial problems. It's not only tragic, it's really pathetic. There are many ways to solve all kinds of problems. If it involves infidelity, there are many options, e.g. divorce, seperation, discussion, counselling, even "revenge infidelity".

It's really much too harsh to end lives because of infidelity.
It's also really pathetic, especially the case where the father wanted to commit suicide with his child, but the child persuaded him by saying that he didn't want to die.

 

[jw5]

This thread is about couples' problems in general, not just tragic ends or deaths or infidelity.
I have a question to ask here.
If your other half, husband or wife, were to commit infidelity, is this the end where you are concerned?
Or will you give him or her a second chance and keep the marriage going?

 

[jw5]

Regarding couples' problems, I have a real example that happened a few years ago with an ex girlfriend.
Briefly, this is what happened
I was eating a chicken drumstick. She wanted it.
I said that I would go and buy her another one. She refused. I said that she could have mine, and I would go and buy another one for myself. She refused and said that if I bought another one, she wouldn't want mine anymore.

Obviously, it was one of 2 things. Either she just wanted me to prove my love by sacrificing, or she wanted out of the relationship. Till today, not sure which.

Any opinion or comments or personal experiences of such nature?

 

[lifeafter41]

We seem to be reading quite a lot of news about couples with problems recently. Sad to say, some of the stories have ended in tragedy, with deaths of either one or both. Some, we do not even know what or why it happened.

But one thing I want to say here, is that when couples have problems, they really should not commit suicide or even kill the other or worse, kill the children, even if it concerns great emotional distress like infidelity or financial problems. It's not only tragic, it's really pathetic. There are many ways to solve all kinds of problems. If it involves infidelity, there are many options, e.g. divorce, seperation, discussion, counselling, even "revenge infidelity".

It's really much too harsh to end lives because of infidelity.
It's also really pathetic, especially the case where the father wanted to commit suicide with his child, but the child persuaded him by saying that he didn't want to die.

The easiest way out is to end it all.

Perhpas this is a problem festering in today's modern society, especially in Singapore, where stress at work, coupled with infidelity and financial problems becomes insurmontable that they decide to end it all.

While i might say that pathetic is too harsh a word, but perhaps, at that point of time, that seems like the only way out. In the Singapore context, it could be the men in this instance, do not really know what to do faced with this kind of a situation. Frankly, nobody does, we will just have to deal with it if it comes.

Some people faced with adversary becomes stronger, other just give up. Some love life dearly, fighting for survival, but did not make it as with the recent case of the mediacorp actresses, Yang Lina. but some take life, as with the recent Bedok case, by not cherishing what he has, his two precious children, but chose to focus things on the negative, whether if it is comments made by the wife, in laws, or other kins.

Perhpas, this journey, for them in this life, is too tiring and they have chose to stop at this desitnation.

 

[lifeafter41]

This thread is about couples' problems in general, not just tragic ends or deaths or infidelity.
I have a question to ask here.
If your other half, husband or wife, were to commit infidelity, is this the end where you are concerned?
Or will you give him or her a second chance and keep the marriage going?

It will be to forgive but not easy to forget.

 

[jw5]

Bro life

I apologise for the harsh words, let me say it again.
It's tragic in all cases that involve death, but it's pathetic only if
-- death occurs because only of infidelity
-- the person committing suicide tries to take other lives as well.

I have great sympathy for people who decide to end their lives, and even a little empathy I must confess.
But not because if it's ONLY due to infidelity. There are many ways to deal with this, including doing nothing.
Of course, I take and appreciate your point that there may be lots of other stresses in addition, culminating in the final fateful decision.
And never ever take anybody else with you, especially innocent children. They didn't choose to be born and they certainly didn't choose to die.

 

[middaydog]

I was eating a chicken drumstick. She wanted it.

she was giving you a hint _ "share your drumstick with me la and I will share my life with you"


unfortunately you prefer to keep your drumstick :(

 

[po2wq]

she was giving you a hint _ "share your drumstick with me la and I will share my life with you"


unfortunately you prefer to keep your drumstick :(

she din want him 2 hv his drumstick nor eat it ... she wanted him 2 hv no drumstick ... ... luckily, she got rid of him ...

 

[middaydog]

u r wrong! ... :p

where you come from huh ?


your name not in Currently Active Users list

 

[lifeafter41]

Bro life

I apologise for the harsh words, let me say it again.
It's tragic in all cases that involve death, but it's pathetic only if
-- death occurs because only of infidelity
-- the person committing suicide tries to take other lives as well.

I have great sympathy for people who decide to end their lives, and even a little empathy I must confess.
But not because if it's ONLY due to infidelity. There are many ways to deal with this, including doing nothing.
Of course, I take and appreciate your point that there may be lots of other stresses in addition, culminating in the final fateful decision.
And never ever take anybody else with you, especially innocent children. They didn't choose to be born and they certainly didn't choose to die.

Not to worry, I believe that was not what you intended, with the word pathetic, but more of a passing thought at the point of writing.

My thought is, save the sympathy for those who chose life and treasure those around them but is in a predicament, not those that chose to end life and life of others neededlessly. Now that is harsh..........

 

[jw5]

she was giving you a hint _ "share your drumstick with me la and I will share my life with you"


unfortunately you prefer to keep your drumstick :(

She didn't want to share, she wanted all of it.
And wimpy me gave it to her actually. :(

 

[lifeafter41]

Regarding couples' problems, I have a real example that happened a few years ago with an ex girlfriend.
Briefly, this is what happened
I was eating a chicken drumstick. She wanted it.
I said that I would go and buy her another one. She refused. I said that she could have mine, and I would go and buy another one for myself. She refused and said that if I bought another one, she wouldn't want mine anymore.

Obviously, it was one of 2 things. Either she just wanted me to prove my love by sacrificing, or she wanted out of the relationship. Till today, not sure which.

Any opinion or comments or personal experiences of such nature?

While not sure, when you mentioned ex girlfriend, whether she dumped you or the other way round.

I am kind of hoping that you have dumped her, as if a person were to use a piece of chicken to test a person's love or sacrificing or whatever you called it, is not a person you want to spent your whole life with, however, if the situation were to that she wants to share it with you but not to buy another one, this is the kind of girlfriend or wife that you would want to have for the rest of your life.

 

[Queen Seok Duk]

Obviously, it was one of 2 things. Either she just wanted me to prove my love by sacrificing, or she wanted out of the relationship. Till today, not sure which.

Any opinion or comments or personal experiences of such nature?

你咬一口，我咬一口；你咬一口；我咬一口。

She thinks it's romantic.

But when you translate this mindset to bed, I think she likes 69 position. Same thing - 你咬一口；我咬一口

 

[popdod]

These days couples dun live by their marriage vows.
First sign of sickness & poverty, prepare to run road liao.

Why so lidat?

:o :( :o

 

[lifeafter41]

These days couples dun live by their marriage vows.
First sign of sickness & poverty, prepare to run road liao.

Why so lidat?

:o :( :o

It is not easy to stick through thick and thin, easier said than done. Unless the couple has gone through it and turn out for the better will be able to advise.

Nevertheless, whether our society as a whole, has come to a stage, where it is a use and throw mentality. Not only on material stuff, but emotional stuff as well.

Old already, look for new and better ones (Older folks looking for greener and younger ones.)

Poor already, look for richer ones
Sick already, look for healthier ones
Infidelity committed, lagi better, got reason to dump and look for new ones.

 

[Ash007]

Regarding couples' problems, I have a real example that happened a few years ago with an ex girlfriend.
Briefly, this is what happened
I was eating a chicken drumstick. She wanted it.
I said that I would go and buy her another one. She refused. I said that she could have mine, and I would go and buy another one for myself. She refused and said that if I bought another one, she wouldn't want mine anymore.

Obviously, it was one of 2 things. Either she just wanted me to prove my love by sacrificing, or she wanted out of the relationship. Till today, not sure which.

Any opinion or comments or personal experiences of such nature?

She is just being difficult. Dump and find another 1. The more you ignore them they more they "love" you. You should have said no, tell her to get one herself.

 

[AhBengBoyBoy]

These days couples dun live by their marriage vows.
First sign of sickness & poverty, prepare to run road liao.

Why so lidat?

:o :( :o

This is the truth.

Marriage vows are obviously outdated, especially in view of the fact that most marriages are the result of mutual self-interest by both parties.

When the object of the self-interest is no more there, the natural thing follows, namely antagonism.

'Objects of self-interest' includes physical features, money/wealth.

To be specific, if a beautiful woman becomes disfigured and thus ugly, will the man still 'love' her? And if a rich man becomes poor through a stroke of bad luck, will the woman still 'love' him? The answers are obvious.

 

[Ash007]

Sinkies can't handle relationship problem because its not in the "textbook"! No MIWs, PAPpee told them what to do when something happen to them, infidelity, poor, bankrupt etc. There are not real right or wrong answer in a relationship. But the way sinkies live their lives exacerbates when real problems pops up.

 

[jw5]

While not sure, when you mentioned ex girlfriend, whether she dumped you or the other way round.

I am kind of hoping that you have dumped her, as if a person were to use a piece of chicken to test a person's love or sacrificing or whatever you called it, is not a person you want to spent your whole life with, however, if the situation were to that she wants to share it with you but not to buy another one, this is the kind of girlfriend or wife that you would want to have for the rest of your life.

Actually, we broke up by mutual agreement about one year after that incident. (which was not actually an incident since I gave in)
I didn't know precisely what her reasons were, but 2 of mine included that incident and the fact that I met her parents and saw how she interacted with them and me.

 

[jw5]

These days couples dun live by their marriage vows.
First sign of sickness & poverty, prepare to run road liao.

Why so lidat?

:o :( :o

That's because people have become more pragmatic, greedy and selfish.