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"Hi, I am your new colleague. I am really a late, late signing just before the transfer window closed. I don't even have my jersey but the manager asked me to come on. Where do I play?"
Perumal: "Everything is fixed lah. The general election, the Punggol East by-election, the Presidential election, Man City's 2 injury-time goals over QPR in the last game of last season, the 1994 Malaysia Cup Final, the 1966 World Cup Final, the Miss Universe winners since 1990..."
Ferguson: "Look, this is Man U, not Arsenal. At Man U no one is allowed to eat bak kwa. I'm sorry. Moreover, we have got two Champion League quarter-final matches against Real Madrid coming up."
Walcott: "I hear this Lim Chee Guan bak kwa is very good but very expensive. I am earning only 100,000 pounds a week, do you think that is enough to buy Lim Chee Guan?"
Lampard: "I had to beg the manager to substitute me. I need to rush now off before the queue for Lim Chee Guan bak kwa grows longer. Which is more important: Brazil or bak kaw? What do you think?"