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If you take away one thing from this article, it is this: a woman who is not yet invested in you must not occupy a big part of your thoughts and emotions. You must have your mind and heart on other things when interacting with women. Period.
If she hasn’t made room for you in her head and heart yet, you shouldn’t make space for her in your head and heart.
If you make this change right now, I promise your results will instantly improve. Women are the dessert to a good life, not the main course, and that’s how women should feel when you are talking to them. WOMEN WANT TO BE DESSERT.
Realize you don’t need to emotionally invest
Have an interesting and awesome life that occupies your thoughts and emotions.
Have “abundance mentality” with respect to women.
Have boundaries and be unperturbable.
Focus on your own fun first.
Realize you don’t need to emotionally invest
This may be the most important step. I think a lot of guys emotionally invest in girls because society and pop culture subconsciously make us think that for a man to get a girl, he must supplicate to her and emotionally invest in her. In the movies, the confident, successful guy living his own life never gets the girl; instead the winner is the beta loser who falls in love with her from afar, and then spends the rest of the movie trying to “get” her, enduring multiple rejections and humiliations. These movies also teach that women are delicate flowers that need constant coddling and lovey dovey ********. That’s not how it works in the real world.
Men also misunderstand women’s aversion to rejection. Women have a strong need to be “accepted” (as all betas do) and therefore are much more sensitive to rejection than men. The phrase “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” is true. Dread game and “ignoring” women only works if she is ignoring you first. But if you outright reject her, or if she makes a move on you, or asks for acceptance, and you say “no” or she feels like you are ignoring her there is a strong chance she will emotionally “un-invest.” Because women have this strong need for constant acceptance and validation, men mistakenly think they must emotionally invest. But all you really need to do is not reject her or make her feel excluded. It’s a thin line between keeping a woman “accepted” and emotionally investing in her.
To win this game, you should only do something for a woman if the woman would do it for you. If you want to buy her a drink, think about whether she would buy you a drink. If she wouldn’t, don’t. If she wants you to wait for her, think about whether she would wait for you. If she wouldn’t, don’t. If there is a girl you always say hi to, but she never says hi to you, stop saying hi to her. She knows who you are, she can say hi to you. It’s ok to “win” in relationships.
Again, this is easier said than done. Society and your emotions team up to make you feel like you need to follow girls around, wait for them, put up with their ********, buy them drinks, etc… You must fight your feelings and social training and have faith that if you stay the course women will become attracted. This requires the ability to say “no” to a woman (saying “no” is different than rejecting her) and the ability to walk away from her, even permanently.
Have an interesting and awesome life that occupies your thoughts and emotions
Humans are wired to seek good feelings. If the main part of our life is not making us happy (job, school, our hobbies), we get those good feelings from other sources: drugs, trashy TV, women, food, etc… All those things are not bad by themselves, but if your regular life doesn’t make you happy, you will overly emotionally invest in bad things and become addicted and depressed. If your life is miserable, you will subconsciously and unknowingly immediately start overly investing in women.
Have abundance mentality with respect to girls
No matter how awesome your life is, it is hard to not emotionally invest in girls. Abundance mentality is when your thoughts and emotions are full of other women, so you don’t need this one girl.
Have boundaries and be unperturbable
Women want you to be an immovable wall that confidently and joyfully pursues his mission. She will try to perturb you from that mission, not because she wants to see you fail, but because she wants to test whether you are actually a brick wall or a façade for something softer. The same way you knock on a desk at the furniture store to see if it is real wood, a woman **** tests you to see if you are actually confident enough to pursue your mission or if you will be perturbed. And the more confident and immovable you are, the stronger the **** tests become. This is true even if the mission is getting her! As long as she is into it, you need to escalate as if you already know she will say yes.
Your mission, when out, should be maximum fun. She should sense that your emotional investment is “where’s the party? Where’s the next fun thing?” You should have a plan for the entire night: I’m going to X, then I’m going to Y , etc… You should not let the woman hijack your plans and take the lead. Your primary mission (career, hobbies, etc…) should also be in your head. Remember the song “girls just wanna have fun?” In truth, everybody just wants to have fun but boys are wracked with anxiety because they are trying to impress girls. Whenever you are feeling nervous, scared, anxious or like you are emotionally investing too much in a girl, just say to yourself “I’m here to have fun. If you contribute, great. If not, you are dismissed.” Fun and positivity always win.
Example: If a beautiful woman is talking about something incredibly boring most men pretend to be interested. Wrong! Women know when they are being boring and it is sometimes a subtle **** test to see if you will let her get away with it. Women are not desperate for sex and they do not need to hang around if a guy is being boring, stupid or mean, and they cannot respect or empathize with a guy who would put up with ******** from her. Men let women be boring when they lose their vision of the good life. A good life involves beautiful women, but it also involves interesting conversations. If you aren’t getting interesting conversations from her, you would leave because you have options. Whenever a woman is being boring, I change the subject just to let her know I don’t tolerate ********.
By having a vision of the good life, boundaries, and confidence that your life, thoughts and emotions are interesting and valuable, you can challenge and stimulate a woman. Women want a man that will help them grow and introduce them to a better life and more interesting world than the one they currently inhabit. They don’t want some a that agrees with everything they say, a pushover, or a simple-minded conformist. Women want a guy who is willing to walk away at any time, not because he is some cold-hearted psychopath, but because once a man shows that is he NOT willing to walk away at any time, there is no challenge or growth.
Of course, for most of you, this is very difficult. Many of you have uninteresting lives so a beautiful woman would instantly become the most interesting and important thing your life or you are so sex starved and desperate that you don’t care if a woman is being boring, or mean, or uninterested, or whatever.
Focus on your own fun first
Girls want to join your life, not lead you around in their life. That’s why you need to focus on your own fun first. You may like you are being rude or selfish, but you’re not, because women are more attracted to the act of leading than the destination necessarily.
https://www.woujo.com/blog/2017/4/11/how-to-not-become-emotionally-invested-in-women
If she hasn’t made room for you in her head and heart yet, you shouldn’t make space for her in your head and heart.
If you make this change right now, I promise your results will instantly improve. Women are the dessert to a good life, not the main course, and that’s how women should feel when you are talking to them. WOMEN WANT TO BE DESSERT.
Realize you don’t need to emotionally invest
Have an interesting and awesome life that occupies your thoughts and emotions.
Have “abundance mentality” with respect to women.
Have boundaries and be unperturbable.
Focus on your own fun first.
Realize you don’t need to emotionally invest
This may be the most important step. I think a lot of guys emotionally invest in girls because society and pop culture subconsciously make us think that for a man to get a girl, he must supplicate to her and emotionally invest in her. In the movies, the confident, successful guy living his own life never gets the girl; instead the winner is the beta loser who falls in love with her from afar, and then spends the rest of the movie trying to “get” her, enduring multiple rejections and humiliations. These movies also teach that women are delicate flowers that need constant coddling and lovey dovey ********. That’s not how it works in the real world.
Men also misunderstand women’s aversion to rejection. Women have a strong need to be “accepted” (as all betas do) and therefore are much more sensitive to rejection than men. The phrase “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” is true. Dread game and “ignoring” women only works if she is ignoring you first. But if you outright reject her, or if she makes a move on you, or asks for acceptance, and you say “no” or she feels like you are ignoring her there is a strong chance she will emotionally “un-invest.” Because women have this strong need for constant acceptance and validation, men mistakenly think they must emotionally invest. But all you really need to do is not reject her or make her feel excluded. It’s a thin line between keeping a woman “accepted” and emotionally investing in her.
To win this game, you should only do something for a woman if the woman would do it for you. If you want to buy her a drink, think about whether she would buy you a drink. If she wouldn’t, don’t. If she wants you to wait for her, think about whether she would wait for you. If she wouldn’t, don’t. If there is a girl you always say hi to, but she never says hi to you, stop saying hi to her. She knows who you are, she can say hi to you. It’s ok to “win” in relationships.
Again, this is easier said than done. Society and your emotions team up to make you feel like you need to follow girls around, wait for them, put up with their ********, buy them drinks, etc… You must fight your feelings and social training and have faith that if you stay the course women will become attracted. This requires the ability to say “no” to a woman (saying “no” is different than rejecting her) and the ability to walk away from her, even permanently.
Have an interesting and awesome life that occupies your thoughts and emotions
Humans are wired to seek good feelings. If the main part of our life is not making us happy (job, school, our hobbies), we get those good feelings from other sources: drugs, trashy TV, women, food, etc… All those things are not bad by themselves, but if your regular life doesn’t make you happy, you will overly emotionally invest in bad things and become addicted and depressed. If your life is miserable, you will subconsciously and unknowingly immediately start overly investing in women.
Have abundance mentality with respect to girls
No matter how awesome your life is, it is hard to not emotionally invest in girls. Abundance mentality is when your thoughts and emotions are full of other women, so you don’t need this one girl.
Have boundaries and be unperturbable
Women want you to be an immovable wall that confidently and joyfully pursues his mission. She will try to perturb you from that mission, not because she wants to see you fail, but because she wants to test whether you are actually a brick wall or a façade for something softer. The same way you knock on a desk at the furniture store to see if it is real wood, a woman **** tests you to see if you are actually confident enough to pursue your mission or if you will be perturbed. And the more confident and immovable you are, the stronger the **** tests become. This is true even if the mission is getting her! As long as she is into it, you need to escalate as if you already know she will say yes.
Your mission, when out, should be maximum fun. She should sense that your emotional investment is “where’s the party? Where’s the next fun thing?” You should have a plan for the entire night: I’m going to X, then I’m going to Y , etc… You should not let the woman hijack your plans and take the lead. Your primary mission (career, hobbies, etc…) should also be in your head. Remember the song “girls just wanna have fun?” In truth, everybody just wants to have fun but boys are wracked with anxiety because they are trying to impress girls. Whenever you are feeling nervous, scared, anxious or like you are emotionally investing too much in a girl, just say to yourself “I’m here to have fun. If you contribute, great. If not, you are dismissed.” Fun and positivity always win.
Example: If a beautiful woman is talking about something incredibly boring most men pretend to be interested. Wrong! Women know when they are being boring and it is sometimes a subtle **** test to see if you will let her get away with it. Women are not desperate for sex and they do not need to hang around if a guy is being boring, stupid or mean, and they cannot respect or empathize with a guy who would put up with ******** from her. Men let women be boring when they lose their vision of the good life. A good life involves beautiful women, but it also involves interesting conversations. If you aren’t getting interesting conversations from her, you would leave because you have options. Whenever a woman is being boring, I change the subject just to let her know I don’t tolerate ********.
By having a vision of the good life, boundaries, and confidence that your life, thoughts and emotions are interesting and valuable, you can challenge and stimulate a woman. Women want a man that will help them grow and introduce them to a better life and more interesting world than the one they currently inhabit. They don’t want some a that agrees with everything they say, a pushover, or a simple-minded conformist. Women want a guy who is willing to walk away at any time, not because he is some cold-hearted psychopath, but because once a man shows that is he NOT willing to walk away at any time, there is no challenge or growth.
Of course, for most of you, this is very difficult. Many of you have uninteresting lives so a beautiful woman would instantly become the most interesting and important thing your life or you are so sex starved and desperate that you don’t care if a woman is being boring, or mean, or uninterested, or whatever.
Focus on your own fun first
Girls want to join your life, not lead you around in their life. That’s why you need to focus on your own fun first. You may like you are being rude or selfish, but you’re not, because women are more attracted to the act of leading than the destination necessarily.
https://www.woujo.com/blog/2017/4/11/how-to-not-become-emotionally-invested-in-women
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