Today is the day where the court will decide the care and control of my children. For the past 2 years, I feel that I had been abused by the system and deemed guilty for the divorce although it was her who had betrayed the marriage vow. I endured for 2 years with her nonsense and frequent nights out. She claimed she needed space and so I granted her wish, if not she will find reasons to punish the children for the slightlest things they do. My bad for marrying a sinkie woman who place herself above everything else, including the children.
She calls herself a modern woman where she follows the asia culture when it comes to financial matters which is, the man pays for all. But follows the western culture demanding that men and women are equals, meaning all household chores are equally divided.
The last straw came when I saw intimate SMSes between her and lover. Although ranging with anger, I stayed calm and acted as if nothing had happened for the next 3 weeks. I immeidately engaged PI and paid thousands to have her followed. Meanwhile, everynight, I will wake up in the middle of the night and took photo of her SMS exchanges with her lover. I took notes of how frequent she will leave the house at night and returning only in the morning.
The showdown came when the PI confirmed their findings and found her visiting her lover's house at night and leaving only in the morning. They were seem hugging and holding hands while walking out from the room. (Even with this, during the mediation with a family court judge months later, I was told that this does not confirm anything as they were "not caught" in the act. I guess how could anyone get evidence if adultery can only be proven if they are caught making out?) I showed her the PI report and told her blankly that I wanted a divorce. She pleded with me and asked me to think of the children but my mind was made up.
I proceeded with the divorce and it had been a gruesome 2 years and it is still not completed. I had realised that the Women's Charter is a law that all men should go through before marriage so that all of us know what we are getting into. Maybe a good time would be during our NS days. I had seen how easily it could be abused by women to put men in a bad light and the law seems to always tend to side the women unless you can prove them otherwise with physical evidence. For those who are going through or planning to go through divorce, dun ever do it out of anger. It needs planning so that we can find fairness in out cases.
The women charter if obviously abused by many women and it had been seen time and time again by the family court. In a recent news article, I read that last year for every 1 cheating man there are 4 women. However, dun expect AWARE to do anything about it as they are the affected parties. The country dun need a Women Charter, it needs a Family Charter. It is time to look beyond gender and take care of the children as they should be the only parties to be considered, not women, not men.
It had never make sense to me that a women still deserve to obtain maintenance from the same marriage that she betrays, that to me obviously is an unfair law which speak volumes of the type of country that we live in.
She calls herself a modern woman where she follows the asia culture when it comes to financial matters which is, the man pays for all. But follows the western culture demanding that men and women are equals, meaning all household chores are equally divided.
The last straw came when I saw intimate SMSes between her and lover. Although ranging with anger, I stayed calm and acted as if nothing had happened for the next 3 weeks. I immeidately engaged PI and paid thousands to have her followed. Meanwhile, everynight, I will wake up in the middle of the night and took photo of her SMS exchanges with her lover. I took notes of how frequent she will leave the house at night and returning only in the morning.
The showdown came when the PI confirmed their findings and found her visiting her lover's house at night and leaving only in the morning. They were seem hugging and holding hands while walking out from the room. (Even with this, during the mediation with a family court judge months later, I was told that this does not confirm anything as they were "not caught" in the act. I guess how could anyone get evidence if adultery can only be proven if they are caught making out?) I showed her the PI report and told her blankly that I wanted a divorce. She pleded with me and asked me to think of the children but my mind was made up.
I proceeded with the divorce and it had been a gruesome 2 years and it is still not completed. I had realised that the Women's Charter is a law that all men should go through before marriage so that all of us know what we are getting into. Maybe a good time would be during our NS days. I had seen how easily it could be abused by women to put men in a bad light and the law seems to always tend to side the women unless you can prove them otherwise with physical evidence. For those who are going through or planning to go through divorce, dun ever do it out of anger. It needs planning so that we can find fairness in out cases.
The women charter if obviously abused by many women and it had been seen time and time again by the family court. In a recent news article, I read that last year for every 1 cheating man there are 4 women. However, dun expect AWARE to do anything about it as they are the affected parties. The country dun need a Women Charter, it needs a Family Charter. It is time to look beyond gender and take care of the children as they should be the only parties to be considered, not women, not men.
It had never make sense to me that a women still deserve to obtain maintenance from the same marriage that she betrays, that to me obviously is an unfair law which speak volumes of the type of country that we live in.
