2 Class Monitors Submitting their Report Books to their Form Teacher ..........

[GoldenDragon]

LHL: Sir, I have collected report books of students you assigned me to monitor. Including me, 70

LTK: Sir, report books of 6 students you entrusted to me ready for your inspection, sir! Mine in, total 7

After a day examining all 87 report books ......................., form teacher almost choked on his Tiong Bahru fish-balls and Selegie tow huay .................

LHL: Sir, happy or not? All of us gave ourselves A+s for ALL 7 subjects. Some managed single star and many others, double and triple stars. As monitor, I endorsed all their grades. Honestly, we did not grade ourselves 5 stars because that would be considered howlian. There is a need to remain humble, you know

LTK: Sir, I not so brave and ba, I very fair one. Hor wa ta hor, bor hor wa ta bor hor. That being my principle, my 6 gave themselves A-s and as monitor I endorsed what they put up. I myself, only B+. All 7 of us see no star

GD: Loong-ah, this is not your father's school. You cannot suka suka give out grades and endorsed them. There must be accountability, responsibility and integrity when grading yourselves

LHL: But my lau pay is Lee Kuan Yew, S'pore's founding father, longest serving PM, then SM and later MM. How come I can't do as I please? Sir, please explain

GD: Loong, after being my student since primary school, what have I taught you? Ok, I admit this - your maths number 1. I predict next time you will be a President scholar. Use taxpayers' money get your Cambridge degree and then return to serve in the SAF. Super fast you will be BG then your pa and ma make arrangements for you to enter politics and make sure you be PM one day. Along the way, a piece of wood will sit on PM chair after your lau pay step down. Don't believe? Place your bet. Every dollar you bet, I pay you S$1000000. I sure win coz I can see the future. Btw, I dun give a fuck who your lau pay is. Remember this

LHL: Yes, sir. You are my favourite teacher

GD: Talking about teachers, Low, I can see you as a teacher in future. You will go Nantah first. Want to bet?

LTK: You think I can be opposition leader one day?

to be continued ......................

 

[GoldenDragon]

GD: I see the future, Low. You will be Sec-Gen of Workers' Party in the 90s and in 2011, you will create history. But, better thing to come in 2015. Together with your comrades ..... I can visualise you and Loong in a face-off

LTK: Really? Then I better start to brush up on my England since I am already a Teochew specialist

GD: Back to the report books, Loong, how on earth can you and your team of 80 grade yourselves A+ for class attendance? You think I am blind? I checked with the other teachers and they told me it is bull shit! During class time, at least half of you guys go missing. Some say toilet break but never come back. Smoking in toilet or masturbating? Others lagi hero. This Guat Kwang involved in too many ECAs. How he manage his time I don't know. For uniformed groups, wahlaneh he joined Scouts, NPCC, NCC, St Johns. Almost wanted to join Girl Guides! Fucking bastard. For band, military band, bagpipe, England and China orchestras! That heavyweight of a student also involve in guitar ensemble. For sports, Guat Kwang is jack of all trades master of none. Take part in track and field in almost all events, swimming all 4 strokes, individual medley and die-die want to swim in all relays, badminton, ping pong, rugby, soccer, basketball, volleyball, diving, canoeing, dragon boat, rock climbing. Almost wanted to join netball and girls' hockey. Fucker's stamina is world class. Still got himself involved in debating and drama. The last time we teachers counted his involvement, we fell asleep before final count. What a talent! That is why he is always missing in class

Another student Charles ... totally no medicine can cure. You all 16 yrs old take ''O'' levels. That fucker now already 25 yrs old. Keep failing and failing his exams. Repeat class since primary 1 and yet you, Loong, dare tell me he is a heavyweight? Heavyweight for USELESS category he champion

If your students cant make it to class 85-90% of the time, don't come to class. Stay at home. Go find a decent job and not waste taxpayers' money heavily subsidising your education

You see Ah Low. A-s only and yet his students show up almost all the time in class. They never show up only when very urgent matters at home. When in class, they participate in discussions and ask many, many questions. Sometimes we teachers don't know how to answer the questions and have to balek rumah do some research. You fellow different. If come class, all keep quiet. If open chee-bye mouths, all agree with one another. This type of thinking is bad for the class. They call this "groupthink.'' It is like group sex. All fucking the same target!

to be continued ......

 

[GoldenDragon]

GD - What have you two learned from this exercise of evaluation?

LHL - We tend to favour ourselves and our cronies and therefore, a neutral or opposing party is needed

GD - Low?

LTK - That is what I believe when I was in PSLE

GD - Excellent. You have the DNA to be a great leader

LHL - Me how?

GD - You are worse than your father

LHL - Why?

GD - He delivered. Maybe too draconian at times. But you? What is your greatest achievement? Zero

to be continued ......