When you go for a class gathering of ex Uni mates....

[True Believer]

It is to be expected that former classmates would share about their careers, where they live, spouses, children etc. during reunions which take place every 5-10 years. At these gatherings, there will be successful and less fortunate individuals. There will be those who live in private homes and those who are HDB residents. Some will still be in successful professions, while others may be out of work. Some will have children who are respected professionals while some will have offspring who are school dropouts. The less fortunate may feel inadequate and resent the more successful classmates. However, it is wrong for the lower SES to label their more well off peers as braggers when they are merely updating each other at class reunions.

 

[Worm]

All these class gatherings are a waste of time. Talking cock and reminiscing over bygone days. What the fuck for? The past is history. Some like to brag about their achievements and some come with an ulterior motive. Personally, I try to stay away from such meet-ups.

my side worse. only hear stories of who and who passed away.

those talkative ones only like to show off.

i quit all class groupchats by now

 

[True Believer]

my side worse. only hear stories of who and who passed away.
those talkative ones only like to show off.
i quit all class groupchats by now

I see nothing wrong with updating each other - including about former classmates who passed on. Don't expect those who were laid off in their fifties to brag about the joys of being a taxi or PHV driver or working as a security guard even though he has an engineering degree.

 

[Worm]

Don't expect those who were laid off in their fifties to brag about the joys of being a taxi or PHV driver or working as a security guard even though he has an engineering degree.

perhaps i need to rephrase this part.

Class group chats are just flex zones for rich classmates and property agents. I joined to get closer to my crushes, but they’re only interested in these guys.

I honestly have a better time with KTV girls

 

[True Believer]

perhaps i need to rephrase this part.
Class group chats are just flex zones for rich classmates and property agents. I joined to get closer to my crushes, but they’re only interested in these guys.
I honestly have a better time with KTV girls

Sorry to hear about your negative experiences. My WhatsApp group from secondary school and JC tend to share jokes, updates about classmates who did well, but also about the few who passed away. They are also helpful in sharing about sales or too good to miss offers etc. Perhaps I am just fortunate not to have insurance agents and MLM salespeople in those groups.

 

[po2wq]

dese gatherings r oways organised by pipz who wan 2 show off sumting ...

me attended oni 1 such gathering ... ze very 1st 1 ... dat time naive ...

2nd 1 oredi never bother ... later found out dat dat fella who organised got company sent 2 usa 2 study 4 masters degree ...

 

[True Believer]

dese gatherings r oways organised by pipz who wan 2 show off sumting ...me attended oni 1 such gathering ... ze very 1st 1 ... dat time naive ...2nd 1 oredi never bother ... later found out dat dat fella who organised got company sent 2 usa 2 study 4 masters degree ...

The problem lies with those who have not fared so well and feel inferior to their wealthy and successful ex-classmates. Their inferiority kicks in the moment they arrive by public transport and see the luxury cars stream into the host's home - especially if it is a landed residence. Remember that no one can make you feel inferior unless you allow them to.

 

[jsctan]

We can still go to such reunions just to get the contacts of those we want to continue to keep in touch.
Those we do not, we just need to stay away. Have own small group meeting after that.

 

[True Believer]

We can still go to such reunions just to get the contacts of those we want to continue to keep in touch. Those we do not, we just need to stay away. Have own small group meeting after that.

I know of many insurance and real estate agents who join grassroots organisations with ulterior motives as well. Most of my secondary and JC classmates do genuinely wish to meet every few years, while there are little cliques who go out more often, and even have their own WhatsApp sub-groups; there is really no right or wrong to these arrangements.

 

[jsctan]

I know of many insurance and real estate agents who join grassroots organisations with ulterior motives as well. Most of my secondary and JC classmates do genuinely wish to meet every few years, while there are little cliques who go out more often, and even have their own WhatsApp sub-groups; there is really no right or wrong to these arrangements.

It is ok if they have personal agendas. What we do not want are those that put another down just because they think they are better than them.

 

[True Believer]

It is ok if they have personal agendas. What we do not want are those that put another down just because they think they are better than them.

Doesn't this happen in every group gathering, whether it is with relatives during CNY, ex-colleagues, former NS buddies or at class reunions? Imagine when you arrive at this party by bus or MRT, while some of your former acquaintances make a grand entrance by BMW or Mercedes. Often it is the poorer relatives or colleagues who feel inferior and feel that the more successful attendees are flaunting their cars, branded clothes and watches when they are just joining the party after work.

 

[True Believer]

I recall a CNY gathering of my mother's brothers and sisters at the landed home of 1 of the siblings. Everyone drove off after lunch from the driveway and the street outside the host's house. Only 1 family walked out to the main road to catch public transport home. Do you think that they did not feel like the poor relations?

 

[jsctan]

Doesn't this happen in every group gathering, whether it is with relatives during CNY, ex-colleagues, former NS buddies or at class reunions? Imagine when you arrive at this party by bus or MRT, while some of your former acquaintances make a grand entrance by BMW or Mercedes. Often it is the poorer relatives or colleagues who feel inferior and feel that the more successful attendees are flaunting their cars, branded clothes and watches when they are just joining the party after work.

The bad upbringing has those successful ones no longer having humility. So, our society has not gone up in terms of class with noblesse oblige and self control.

 

[True Believer]

The bad upbringing has those successful ones no longer having humility. So, our society has not gone up in terms of class with noblesse oblige and self control.

Imagine if you are 1 of the successful classmates joining the gathering after work. Would you leave your BMW, Rolex and branded outfit in the office and arrive by public transport in casual unbranded clothes and a Casio watch just so you do not outshine anyone of your peers?

 

[True Believer]

About 15 of my former JC classmates gathered for dinner at the roti prata eatery in Jalan Kayu several years ago. The organiser lives in Seletar so he suggested the venue. Only 1/3 drove while the rest took a bus, PHV or taxi. When it was time to call it a night, all 15 managed to leave in the 5 cars over there. I was 1 of the car drivers, but did not notice anyone feeling awkward or "inferior" because they did not have a car. Of course, it is impossible to read the mind of anyone present.

 

[jsctan]

Imagine if you are 1 of the successful classmates joining the gathering after work. Would you leave your BMW, Rolex and branded outfit in the office and arrive by public transport in casual unbranded clothes and a Casio watch just so you do not outshine anyone of your peers?

There is nothing to hide actually. It is just accumulation of material wealth on earth.
What is important is how you carry yourself and be humble. But if you arrive by public transport and yet there are people who genuinely
happy to see you and want to stay in contact, these are the people that will stick with you even when you become no longer rich.

 

[Boonsiong]

Lai

 

[po2wq]

The problem lies with those who have not fared so well and feel inferior to their wealthy and successful ex-classmates. Their inferiority kicks in the moment they arrive by public transport and see the luxury cars stream into the host's home - especially if it is a landed residence. Remember that no one can make you feel inferior unless you allow them to.

no 1 is toking about feeling inferior, flashy cars nor landed residens ...

 

[True Believer]

no 1 is toking about feeling inferior, flashy cars nor landed residens ...

Just remember that no one can make you feel inferior unless you allow them to do so.

 

[True Believer]

People often hate class reunions because they fear unfavourable comparison and judgment regarding their wealth, career or overall life status i.e. having not attained the traditional 5Cs. This leads many to stay away rather than face the perceived hierarchy of their secondary or JC years. Reunions often involve conversations where career, financial status and personal milestones are evaluated against each other. Those who haven't met conventional markers of success, are likely to feel they are walking into their annual appraisal with their boss.