24 M Mumbai Redditer in Singapore: Can't figure this out! Any perspective/advice would be appreciated!

[Nut]

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Can't figure this out! Any perspective/advice would be appreciated!​

I need advice!

I've built a life I'm proud of, but finding a partner still feels impossible. What am I missing?

I'm a 24 M from Mumbai, and I'm genuinely trying to understand whether my experience is normal or if there's something I'm overlooking.

Over the last few years, I've worked hard to build myself into someone I respect.

I have a stable software engineering career.

I'm financially independent.

I stay in shape and work out consistently(5'11 tall).

I don't smoke or drink.

I pursue acting alongside my job because I believe in following my passions.

I regularly attend acting classes, dance classes, gyms, workshops, and social activities.

I get female attention and stares but it doesn't convert.

People generally describe me as confident, friendly, ambitious, and a good communicator.

I'm not saying any of this to brag. The reason I'm mentioning it is because I spent years believing that if I focused on becoming a better person, relationships would naturally follow.

But that hasn't really happened.

I've met plenty of people, made acquaintances, and had some short-lived romantic situations, but finding someone I genuinely connect with for a serious relationship has been surprisingly difficult.

What confuses me is that I don't think my expectations are outrageous.

I want someone who:

Doesn't smoke or drink.

Is attractive to me.

Has a kind personality and good values.

Wants a long-term relationship.

Understands that I have a busy life and personal ambitions.

The bigger challenge seems to be meeting compatible people consistently. Adult life feels very fragmented. People come and go. Classes end. Jobs change. Friend circles shrink. It's much harder than school or college where you naturally spent years around the same people.

Sometimes I wonder:

Are my standards too high?

Am I unintentionally filtering out good people?

Am I focusing too much on self-improvement and not enough on relationships?

Is this just what dating in your late 20s is like?

What's especially frustrating is that from the outside, people assume I must have no problem dating because I have a career, hobbies, fitness, and social interests.

The reality feels very different.

For people who eventually found a healthy long-term relationship:

Did you actively look for it or did it happen naturally?

Did your standards change over time?

Is it normal to go years without meeting someone who feels right?

What blind spots do you think someone in my position might have?

I'm looking for honest opinions, even if they're uncomfortable to hear.

 

[tobelightlight]

Maybe it's your body odour.

 

[nabeifuckpap]

 

[Nut]

 

[tobelightlight]

Women free is the best. No need to deal with such unnecessary issues.

I have the opposite problem. Women dying to be with me and I always have to keng and think of various avoidance strategies to deal with it.

 

[batman1]

Go back to where u come from.

 

[Nut]

Go back to where u come from.

Maybe he wants a chinese girl like @syed putra ?