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- Aug 20, 2022
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Found out my partner of 3 yrs has a second phone
CopingBackstory: We’ve been living together for 2 yrs, been together for 3. We’re both in our mid 20’s. Our relationship is pretty healthy to my knowledge: we both go to the gym, eat healthy, have good paying jobs, great individual social lives, and have sex pretty frequently. I was halfway shocked to find out that he was cheating honestly. He’s very loving towards me, we share locations, are in constant communication, can’t think of a time where he’s gone somewhere and went ghost, he pays all the bills, we go on dates every week.
The only thing that made my spidey senses tingle was that we don’t have the same days off. I’m always off on the weekend and he’s off 2 days out of the week (isn’t always the weekend). I called out sick one day and he had work that day, he immediately calls out of work to “monitor” me. I didn’t think anything of it, just thought he wanted to spend time with me. We went sightseeing, shopping, and the zoo. But something was just so weird, why would he just call out of work to run behind me to see what I was doing? He did it again last week when I was off on the weekend, just monitoring me. Saying things like I switch my location to my iPad and then I go out (which I don’t).
Fast forward to Monday night, I get home from work and his second phone is just sitting on the counter. He forgot it. My god, it was like God answered a prayer in that moment. It was just right there. The phone had a passcode on it so I couldn’t get in it. I took the phone and put it in my purse. He got home, I asked him if he was missing anything. He immediately got sketched out and ran out the house (looking for the phone obviously). He calls me and says that if I found a black phone that that phone was for his friend. I said nice try, I Zelle’d you a dollar and the notification popped up on the phone. Him lying about the phone solidified that something bad was on the phone. He rushes home and comes clean. I assume it’s half truths but what he did admit to was: he had sex with some girl on her birthday 4-5 months ago, he had sex with a girl in the gym bathroom at our apt complex, he had sex with some girl in his empty condo that he’s in the process of renting out. He also was texting and calling me while he was hanging out with his ex on his off day 5 days ago.
I’m not hurt, I’m just shocked. I couldn’t imagine going to these lengths to cheat and honestly he sounds like a sex addict. It’s disturbing. I got a STD test, I’m clean. I’m in the process of moving things out. It’s just hilarious at how he’s taking the break up. He’s blocked on everything but he’s emailing me saying that he went and got an engagement ring for me, he’ll do anything, he’ll resort to tears, and when that doesn’t work he’ll accuse me of sleeping with other people. He cursed the girls out that he cheated on me with. It’s just a giant mess. Why do men cheat and then grasp for straws when they get left?
