Who am I without my work?’ — Singapore worker grieves after losing her job and the identity it gave her
By
Nick Karean
May 1, 2026
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SINGAPORE: A Singapore worker who had nearly a year to prepare for retrenchment still found herself unready when the final day arrived. Her story shows that job loss affects more than just income for some, as they link their career loss to a loss of identity, routine, and a sense of place in society.
She was given 10 months’ notice as her company moved operations overseas. During that time, she trained a replacement team and kept work running. On paper, it looked like a smooth transition, but in reality, it became a slow, drawn-out goodbye,
Channel NewsAsia (CNA) reports (April 27).
A grief that stayed buried in silence
Instead of processing the loss, she focused on staying productive. Work became her shield. The grief stayed buried.
Colleagues left one by one. The office shrank. By her final day, only two people remained from what was once an 18-member team.
The ending didn’t come with a dramatic send-off. There were no meetings, no speeches. Just a silent return of her laptop and access card. That silence hit harder than expected.
She left the office and cried in a cinema, alone
She tried to stay composed. That image held for months… but then it collapsed in minutes.
A simple exchange with a colleague triggered it. Then another brief conversation. Words became difficult. Emotions surfaced all at once. She left the office and cried in a cinema, alone, during a weekday screening.
From the outside, retrenchment can look clean. Severance is paid. Work ends. Life moves on. But what disappears is harder to measure. It is the daily rhythm. The sense of usefulness. The quiet pride in doing something well.
Her identity had become tied to her job role
Over time, she realised her identity had become tied to her role. For two decades, her value was linked to output and performance. Without that title, there was a void.
She tried to stay busy at first, updating her resume, planning next steps, and filling time, but it didn’t help. The emotional impact came in waves. Some days were productive. Others were slow and heavy.
Friends who had gone through layoffs told her the same thing. The feeling doesn’t vanish overnight.
Mindset shift: Seeking internal value instead of chasing external validation
With space to think, harder questions surfaced. Was she chasing senior roles out of interest, or validation? Would she accept less pay for more time with her family?
These weren’t urgent questions before, but they became painfully unavoidable after her job ended, so she decided to pause job seeking for a few months. Not to delay, but to reset.
That reset led to small mindset changes, such as writing for herself. Spending free time without guilt. Trying new things without a work outcome attached to it.
Eventually, one of those efforts led to a children’s book deal. It then changed how she saw her own value. Different didn’t mean any less.
