Advice Needed: Should I?

[Leongsam]

In all forums which I have read, I have seldom participated. I have chosen to participate here and believe this forum for its maturity and anonymity.

You have made my day. I had given up all hope of forum's salvation. :p

With your presence, there is a chance it will regain its former glory. Please get your friends to join too.

 

[Claire]

TS, some revelation. This is only a tryst (in a short space of time). Not opportune time yet, to shack up with him.
Cross the bridge, if and when you come to that.

You don't sound persuaded either.

Honestly, I agree with you it is not the right time to move in. My concerns are if things don't work out, my parents will be saying ~ see, didn't we tell you he is a jerk and all sorts of nagging like 不听老人言，吃亏在眼前 blah blah blah which will probably drive me into a nutcase when I move back to stay with them again.

 

[eatshitndie]

However in 2105 this forum is way past its glory days with only a handful of intellectuals who post sporadically. Most of the former stars are jaded, old, sick, dead or sorely disillusioned after being whipped by the 70%

i'm into swinging these days but age has caught up. it's downhill oops downswing from here. :o

 

[Claire]

agree that no one can be 100% committed unless he's a retard or a chc follower in blind faith. :p

if you think his crafty mastery of deceit is something you can live with when you move in then you're brave and stubborn enough to tame the tiger and get embroiled in his acting. if you're a player yourself, and you think you may break his heart one day instead of him breaking yours then go get it girl. i like to see for once the serial playboy getting his comeuppance and getting played out. but i won't hold my breath.

btw, no offense to me. i'm truly on a swing. it's a new lifestyle demonstrated by a dignitary.

Thanks. In my wicked side of my heart, I am not fearful even if he ends up being a jerk.

 

[Claire]

You have made my day. I had given up all hope of forum's salvation. :p

With your presence, there is a chance it will regain its former glory. Please get your friends to join too.

I am sorry to disappoint you. I am only here when I am free. Most of the time, I read to get stress relief.

As for my friends, I am sure I do not want to put myself in disrepute by recommending them this infamous and notorious forum.

 

[eatshitndie]

Honestly, I agree with you it is not the right time to move in. My concerns are if things don't work out, my parents will be saying ~ see, didn't we tell you he is a jerk and all sorts of nagging like 不听老人言，吃亏在眼前 blah blah blah which will probably drive me into a nutcase when I move back to stay with them again.

that's exactly the case with my 4th gf. she said the same things to me.

 

[Claire]

that's exactly the case with my 4th gf. she said the same things to me.

Sorry sir, I am not her and neither do I know you in person. Stop your trickery, else I wouldn't respect you anymore

 

[zhihau]

As for my friends, I am sure I do not want to put myself in disrepute by recommending them this infamous and notorious forum.

What rubbish is this? The Sammyboy Spirit shall Prevail!!!

 

[wikiphile]

I am sorry to disappoint you. I am only here when I am free. Most of the time, I read to get stress relief.

As for my friends, I am sure I do not want to put myself in disrepute by recommending them this infamous and notorious forum.

but yet you put yourself in disrepute by joining this infamous and notorious forum, your argument is as solid as 0.5mm thick condoms made from PVC.

 

[Claire]

What rubbish is this? The Sammyboy Spirit shall Prevail!!!

You are delusional to even think that there is a spirit here. I have read this forum for a long while before I finally registered myself and start writing.

All I see is a couple of sensible guys whilst the majority of members are simply showoffs, incongruous or either have their mindset and views about women stucked right in the medieval period.

 

[lifeafter41]

I am a bit emotionally misplaced at the moment and hence this thread.

Lucidity tells me this is the erroneous place to get guidance, but as I can't talk about this matter with my friends (at this moment), the lesser of 2 evils tells me this is the only outlet I have ~ at least at this very moment ~ to air my congested brains and get some clarity in thoughts (if any).

So, if you are sane and constructive, offer your thoughts and opinions from your male perspective and I will appreciate. Otherwise, keep your unkind comments to yourself and you wouldn’t be missed a single tiny winy bit.

How shall I start???

Ummm, there is this senior management guy in the office which I detested a great deal. I had always found him "humsup" whenever he approached me for corporate legal advice. His eyes would always be "roaming" around my body and I felt "violated", albeit mentally. So, my principle has always been to stay away from him as much as possible in office unless there are official matters for discussion.

Gossips amongst the other colleagues transpired that he is divorced and had a series of romances. Naturally, with time, my prejudices became the foundation to "hate" him, though professionally I would collaborate in terms of work issues.

A couple of weeks ago, he decided to quit. Strangely, I was invited to his farewell dinner last Friday at The American Club and drinks thereafter. Dinner went on fine with a couple of his subordinates and his peers in senior management delivering farewell speeches. From what I sensed from those speeches, this guy seemed to take good care of his lads and is very popular with his peers too.

During after-dinner drinks, he approached me as I happened to be drinking alone (as my other close colleague went to the ladies). We chatted ~ despite my "prejudices" about him and he was leaving the organization anyway, so I didn’t want to spoil his farewell mood.

He started impressing upon me as a young senior manager in this MNC, I should learn to thrive in office politics and “showmanship” so that I wouldn't be bullied by others, especially the foreigners.

The conversation went on till my close colleague returned from the ladies who then remarked to my ears that "the 色狼 was looking at your low cut blouse while talking to you just now...". Strangely, I didn't seem to mind.

After drinks, I said my goodbyes to all and headed to the taxi-stand (as my close colleague was picked up by her husband). Whilst in the long queue, I heard my name being called and turned around ~ it was him. He asked me if I am free to join him for a drink at Union Bar at the ground floor of the Club. Looking at the long queue and in my high heels which were now a little painful for my calves, I obliged.

Over drinks, my "revulsion" of him seemed to dilute into curiosity. Perhaps the drinks, or perhaps I was less "on-guard" and becoming comfortable with his "paternal and protective" concerns, which then somewhat transformed into admiration for him which made me feel desired and appreciated. As you know, I never believed in the concept of “Alpha male” and he is not one even if there is such a creature of imagination.

He then expressed me he liked me and asked if I want to spend the night with him. Strangely, all the negative aspects I previously had about him seemed to fade away into thin air, and I agreed. Hopped into his Merc CLK and I allowed him to "french" me once we were inside. Not sure why I didn’t resist. Could be the drinks or it could be I am charmed by him. Drove off and I was in his apartment ~ which I like his taste of Zen furnishing and decor. He popped a bottle of Krug Rosé and we continued to chat through the night.

Time must have passed pretty quickly, I woke up the next morning in his arms. He told me to relax in my slightly “hangover” state, whilst he prepared breakfast. Freshened up and in his oversized work shirt (which he asked me to put on), we had breakfast. Sobering up and in the midst of breakfast, he asked if I want to continue this relationship. I said ok without much thought (then), as I am not attached anyway.

Through the course of this week, I have developed a few concerns about this relationship ~ He is in his late 40s and slightly > 12 years my senior. We do not have common friends and it would be strange when we go out with his “aged” friends or my younger crowd of friends. My friends would definitely look at me in a "funny" way for getting hitched with an "uncle". My parents will be wondering if I am "cheated" by an "experienced plunderer".

It has been a week since last Friday. We have either met for dinner or he picked me up to and from work and sort of like "a couple in love".

Last night, he asked me to move in with him.

Should I?

PS : It feels much better now that I have aired what have been troubling me for a while this whole week.

He is in his late 40s and you are late 30s.......
My thought is what's your expectation towards this whole affair and where do you see this going here on.

If marriage is what you are longing for, then I would say, forget it and move on.

 

[Claire]

but yet you put yourself in disrepute by joining this infamous and notorious forum, your argument is as solid as 0.5mm thick condoms made from PVC.

I am mature enough to see, read and reflect on views.

 

[wikiphile]

I am mature enough to see, read and reflect on views.

i see when it comes to 'you', Lo and Behold! you are suddenly transported to a different class and league from the rest of us. most incongruous as you have put it.

 

[zhihau]

I am mature enough to see, read and reflect on views.

You're saying your friends aren't able to do likewise?
:p:p:p

 

[Claire]

He is in his late 40s and you are late 30s.......
My thought is what's your expectation towards this whole affair and where do you see this going here on.

If marriage is what you are longing for, then I would say, forget it and move on.

I am in 30s and not late 30s.

Is this even an affair? I am not attached and neither is he married.

I have no expectations to be honest with you.

I don't even think of marriage at this very moment.

All I want is someone who is there to care for me when I am down, someone I can relate to, someone to advise me when I am confused, someone with a shoulder I can lean on when I am tired and someone who can enjoy happy moments together, whether in a mudane working world or during holidays.

 

[yinyang]

Self-Delusion is a powerful mind trick, speaking from personal experiences.

Indeed (just on self-delusion bit). As for your latter, any war stories? :p

What rubbish is this? The Sammyboy Spirit shall Prevail!!!

That's BS's line, for hard sell

..swinging these days but age has caught up. ...downhill oops downswing from here. :o

..don't bring up medieval bs with me...into swinging now like one who wears pink.

Pink? Very topical, and "with it" gender hue

 

[Claire]

You're saying your friends aren't able to do likewise?
:p:p:p

Put it this way, I have my reservations.

 

[wikiphile]

Indeed (just on self-delusion bit). As for your latter, any war stories? :p

Ha you already know so much that i am contemplating to silence you for good

 

[Reddog]

Quite an essay. But as you are not female, your imagination is equally commendable .. or you have stolen passages from some girly novels. Ha Ha.

 

[zhihau]

Put it this way, I have my reservations.

Then have you found a solution to your question?