Religion & Shit

his is meant to be taken with a pinch of salt. Don't read if you're easily offended! Taken off Facebook.

* Taoism: Shit happens.
* Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
* Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
* Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
* Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
* Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
* Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
* Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
* Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
* Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
* Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
* Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
* Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
* Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
* Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
* Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
* Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
* Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
* Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
* Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
* Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
* Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
* Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
* Creationism: God made all shit.
* Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
* Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
* Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
* Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
* Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
* Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
* Darwinism: This shit was once food.
* Capitalism: That's MY shit.
* Communism: It's everybody's shit.
* Feminism: Men are shit.
* Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
* Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
* Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
* Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
* Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
* Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
* Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
* Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
* Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
* Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
* Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
* Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
* Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
* Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
* Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
* Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
* Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
* Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
* Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
* Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
* Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
* Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
* Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
* Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
* Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
* Atheism: What shit?
* Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
* Nihilism: No shit.

* Sammyboy Al Fresco : Shit ! Not another infraction again ! Never advise/advice properly izzit !

Prosperitism: If you don't prosper, that's really shit.
http://ramdahal.blogspot.com/2008/10/prosperitism-path-to-prosperity.html

Povertism: If you prosper, you shit.

Judgementalism: Eat the shit.

Racism: Shit has different colors.

Gracism: Everyone can share the shit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEG-TUy0Fqo

Indifferentism: shit anywhere you like, just don't shit in my compound
Materialism: We prefer solid shit
Spiritualism: Shit can levitate
Opportunism: Sell the shit
Skepticism: don't bullshit
... ...
'Sounddoctrinism': don't give me these shits

<dl class="avatar-comment-indent" id="comments-block"><dd class="comment-body"> Guess who says this :

1) Even if you are full of shit, you can still go to heaven if you pray hard enough.

2) If you shitted too much, it will be OK if you confess your shit.

3) If shit happens to you, it's your karma.
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</dd></dl>

elephanto said:

<DL id=comments-block class=avatar-comment-indent><DD class=comment-body>Guess who says this :

1) Even if you are full of shit, you can still go to heaven if you pray hard enough.

2) If you shitted too much, it will be OK if you confess your shit.

3) If shit happens to you, it's your karma.

<DD class=comment-footer>

</DD></DL>

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Hu-man was made from God's shit! God doesn't make MAN. He made 'HU-MAN' a sub species of MAN. The Bible did not say Adam is made a man, but made from dust from the ground. We know that God do shits too and his shit can only fall down to the ground. So you are sub species - Hu-man from God's shit.

You are ALL Shtis!

this is so offensive! I think you should not offend other religion even the christianity.this is not the right to offensive other religion even the christianity.:(

this is so offensive! It's not right to offend other religion even the christianity. I think it's not the right way to offensive other religion even the christianity. :(:(

PAP: All can go eat shit, we dun care

SDP: We make you eat shit too, for we care

WP: We can live with the shit, fcuk care

RP: We must reform this shit, no matter what

SPP: Let's have the shit, whatever shit

NSP: Where's the shit? ask Malboro to clear the shit!

methink said:

PAP: All can go eat shit, we dun care

SDP: We make you eat shit too, for we care

WP: We can live with the shit, fcuk care

RP: We must reform this shit, no matter what

SPP: Let's have the shit, whatever shit

NSP: Where's the shit? ask Malboro to clear the shit!

Click to expand...

Thanks bro ... but you miss out Democratic Progressive Party (DPP) led by Tan Lead Shake.

DPP: Wear slippers, then won't step on shit... or
If yr wife & yr brother's wife are both from PRC, you're in DEEP SHIT!

NSP: For higher profile, must adopt shit-specific strategy !

SPP: Love my shit, love my wife's shit too...

RP: Love my daddy's shit ? please love mine too !

SDP: Our shit is always 'disobedient' & taste of glucose ...

PAP: With NCMP Scheme, you can have your shit & eat it too ...

As for those who can't take jokes yet take their religion TOO seriously,

If you can't stand the stench of your own shit, get out of the jamban pronto !