All he needs to do is make a two second speech: "In Singapore, Mee Siam does not include Ham".
He can then go home and enjoy his dinner.
Correction " Ham" is wrong, Ham is the thigh and rump of pork, cut from the haunch of a pig or boar. Although it may be cooked and served fresh, most ham is cured in some fashion.(wikipedia)
"Hum"...as in Hokkien is Cockles come from shallow waters of the ocean bed and are also known as mochacocka(wikipedia), are stir fried in "char kway teow"....
his version is "mee siam mai hum"....in Catonese the 'hum" means, the "ham chin pian"..aka , as the 'bun' between a woman's legs!!.
we are waiting in in expectation for another exotic dish to emerge, after his speech...
a MEE SIAM MAI HUM II.....