What does the Bible say about sex?

[Patriot]

What does the Bible say about sex?​

ANSWER

The Bible reveals that sex (sexual intercourse) is God's good gift to human beings. Like all of God's good gifts, sex has been used for both good and evil throughout all of history.

God's command to Adam and Eve, delivered with His blessing, to "be fruitful and increase in number" (Genesis 1:28) implies the necessity of their having sex. Later, we read that "Adam made love to his wife Eve" (Genesis 4:1), with the result that a son was born. Besides expanding the human race, God designed sex for the physical, emotional, and spiritual union between one man and one woman for life (Genesis 2:18, 23–24; Matthew 19:4–6; 1 Corinthians 7:32–34). God's design for sex between a married man and woman is good and honorable (Hebrews 13:4). There is nothing shameful, dirty, or dishonorable about sex; in fact, in their state of innocence, "the man and his wife were both naked, and they were not ashamed" (Genesis 2:25).

God created us as sexual beings, so it stands to reason that Scripture has plenty to say about sex. The Bible contains more warnings and prohibitions against its misuse than it does prescriptions for its healthy and proper enjoyment. The following is a brief review of both:

The Bible's prohibitions against the misuse of sex:

The most complete list of prohibited sexual relations is found in the Mosaic Law. Leviticus 18 contains prohibitions against sex with close relatives, with those of the same sex, and with animals (Leviticus 18:6–23). Scripture calls these sexual relations "detestable things" or "abominations" (verses 26 and 29), by which individuals and nations were "defiled" (verses 27–28, 30). Adultery (sex with a married person other than one's spouse) was punishable by death for both participants (Leviticus 20:10–12), while pre-marital sex was "punished" by forced marriage (Exodus 22:16). Rape also carried a death sentence.

The New Testament reiterates most of these prohibitions. John the Baptist condemned King Herod for marrying his brother's wife (Mark 6:18); same-sex activity is called "shameful lusts" and condemned for both men women (Romans 1:26–27); and those who practice sexual perversion are warned they have no place in God's kingdom (1 Corinthians 6:9). Jesus condemned not only physical adultery, but also adultery in one's mind or heart, which would include pornography (Matthew 5:27–32). Prostitution is condemned in both Old and New Testaments (Deuteronomy 23:18; 1 Corinthians 6:16–17); at the same time, the Bible provides examples of forgiveness extended to prostitutes, from Rahab (Joshua 6:25) to the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1–11). Rahab was accepted into Israel and honored for her faith (Hebrews 11:31), and Jesus forgave the woman in John 8, telling her, "Go now and leave your life of sin" (John 8:11).

God has always made allowances for human weakness regarding sex. He hates divorce—it is always wrong except for victims of adultery and abandonment—and those who marry after divorce are considered adulterers in God's eyes (Matthew 19:9; 1 Corinthians 7:10–15). Yet God made a provision for divorce in His law, knowing the weakness and wickedness of the human heart (Matthew 19:7–8). Christ's disciples, understanding God's real view of divorce, said in that case "it is better not to marry" (verse 10). Jesus explained to them that refraining from marriage (and therefore from sex) is a gift given to very few people (verses 11–12). Paul was celibate, while Peter had a wife (1 Corinthians 9:5). Neither sinned, and both served the Lord in the condition in which they were called (1 Corinthians 7:24).

Another allowance God made concerning sex in the Old Testament was polygamy (multiple spouses in the same marriage, usually one husband with two or more wives). Although several Bible characters had polygamous marriages, polygamy itself is never explicitly approved in Scripture, and the multiple-wives arrangement frequently led to problems (Genesis 30; 1 Kings 11:1–6). Clearly, God's original design was for marriage to be between one man and one woman (Matthew 19:4–6). Polygamy is directly forbidden for church leaders (1 Timothy 3:2, 12; 5:9; Titus 1:5–6).

The Bible's prescriptions for the proper use and enjoyment of sex:

The Bible's most explicit depiction of sexual love within marriage is the wonderful poem The Song of Solomon, especially chapters 4 and 5. In these chapters, the newlywed couple explore each other's bodies, uttering words of delight, wonder, and commitment. After establishing the metaphor of love-making as a garden filled with excellent fruits, the lovers are told, "Eat, friends, and drink; drink your fill of love" (Song of Solomon 5:1). God obviously approves of their sexual union.

The act of sex within marriage is also approved in Proverbs 5:19, where the husband is told, "May [your wife's] breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love." The Law of Moses provided a one-year exemption from military duty for a newlywed man to let him "stay at home and bring happiness to the wife" (Deuteronomy 24:5).

First Corinthians contains instructions concerning sex from the Christian perspective. Paul says that celibacy is best, but people should marry rather than "burn with passion" (1 Corinthians 7:8–9). Sex within marriage is good and right and is a preventative of sexual immorality: "Each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband" (1 Corinthians 7:2). In the Christian view, wives and husbands have equal "authority" over each other's bodies; sex is a "marital duty" that both husband and wife should strive to fulfill (1 Corinthians 7:3–4). Any abstention from sex within a marriage should be temporary: "Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control" (1 Corinthians 7:5).

The "marriage bed"—a clear reference to sexual relations—must be "kept pure" (Hebrews 13:4). Christians are to "flee from sexual immorality," and for good reason: "All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body" (1 Corinthians 6:18).

We are called to be "salt and light" in our dark and tasteless world (Matthew 5:13–16). The lost need to see what true love within a marriage looks like. Sexual purity is to be a hallmark of the Body of Christ (Acts 15:29; Colossians 3:5). "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people" (Ephesians 5:3).

All aspects of marriage, including sex, glorify God and reveal His attributes—that He is love, that He is faithful, protective, sacrificial, committed, etc. (1 John 4:16; 1 Corinthians 13). That is one reason sex is not to be abused. Marriage is also the picture God uses to describe His eventual union with the redeemed as the future pure and glorious bride of Christ (2 Corinthians 11:2; Ephesians 5:32; Revelation 21:2, 9).

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

Sanctified Sexuality: Valuing Sex in an Oversexed World by Glahn & Barnes

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[Patriot]

What does the Bible say about anal sex?​

ANSWER

There is no overt mention of anal sex in the Bible. In the account of Sodom and Gomorrah in Genesis 19, a large group of men sought to gang rape two angels who had taken the form of men. The reasonable presumption is that the men of Sodom wanted to have forcible anal sex with the angels. The men’s homosexual lust is obvious, but again, anal sex is not mentioned in the passage. The words sodomy and sodomize come from this biblical account. Sodomy is, literally, “the sin of Sodom.”

In modern language, the term sodomy has acquired a broader definition than what is biblically warranted. Today, “sodomy” often refers to any form of non-penile/vaginal sexual act, which includes anal sex and oral sex. If the biblical text is used as the basis for the definition, though, “sodomy” cannot include oral sex or, technically, even anal sex. The strict understanding of sodomy, based solely on the events of Genesis 19, would have to be “forcible anal sex, with one male homosexually raping another male anally.”

The Bible clearly and explicitly condemns homosexuality as an immoral and unnatural sin (Leviticus 18:22; 20:13; Romans 1:26-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9). And the Bible strongly condemns rape, as well (Deuteronomy 22:25-27). So, clearly, the Bible condemns sodomy in the sense of male homosexual rape. The more difficult question is whether the Bible condemns all anal sex.

Ultimately, our answer is the same as our answer for “What does the Bible say about oral sex?” Outside of marriage, all forms of sex, including anal sex, are sinful and immoral. Since the Bible nowhere condemns, or even mentions, anal sex within the confines of marriage, it would appear that anal sex falls within the “mutual consent” principle (1 Corinthians 7:5). Whatever is done sexually should be fully agreed on between the husband and his wife. Neither husband nor wife should be coerced into doing something he/she is not absolutely comfortable with. If anal sex occurs within the confines of marriage, by mutual consent, then there is no clear biblical reason for declaring it to be sin.

In summary, the word sodomy does not occur in the Bible, although it does originate from a place name in the Bible. The specific sin intended in Genesis 19 was, presumably, forcible anal rape of a man by another man. This passage does not concern marital relations. Anal sex between a husband and wife, within the confines of marriage, in the spirit of mutual consent, cannot be definitively categorized as a sin.

Please note – while anal sex between a husband and his wife might not be sinful, that does not mean we endorse it. In fact, it is our conviction that anal sex is wrong, even within the confines of marriage. Medically speaking, anal sex is neither healthy nor safe. Anal sex increases the risk of tissue damage, infection, and the transmission of STDs.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

The Act of Marriage by Tim and Beverly LaHaye

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[Patriot]

Is there a difference between sex and gender, biblically speaking?​

ANSWER

Until the 1950s, the idea of differentiating between sex and gender was completely foreign to the medical and psychological communities. After all, aside from extremely rare instances, every human being has either two X chromosomes, and is therefore biologically female, or an X and a Y chromosome, and is therefore biologically male. It was not until the past decade or so that a distinction between sex and gender became popularized. Popular culture and postmodern psychology, however, do not change the fact that human beings are either XX or XY. No amount of hormone therapy or surgery can change that fact.

Adding to the confusion is the multiplication of alternate gender options that have appeared in recent years. There are now upwards of 50 gender options, including, but not limited to the following: agender, androgyne, androgynous, bigender, cisgender, gender fluid, gender nonconforming, gender questioning, gender variant, genderqueer, non-binary, pangender, transfeminine, transmasculine, transgender, and transsexual. If those options are not sufficient, many surveys also include choices such as “neither,” “other,” and “none of the above.”

The closest the Bible comes to mentioning gender dysphoria is likely in its condemnation of transvestitism in Deuteronomy 22:5, its mention of certain men being born eunuchs (born with abnormal sexual function) in Matthew 19:12, or its consistent declaration of the sinfulness of homosexuality (Leviticus 18:22; 20:13; Romans 1:26–27; 1 Corinthians 6:9; 1 Timothy 1:10).

The Bible nowhere mentions a man believing himself to be a woman, or vice versa. The Bible is explicitly consistent in equating gender with biological sex. Biblically speaking, human beings are male or female. There is no gender spectrum or continuum even hinted at in the Bible.

With that said, the Bible does teach that sin has devastating effects on humanity (Genesis 2:17; 6:5; Judges 17:6; Psalm 51:5; Romans 3:10–23; 8:22). If, in this fallen world, males can be born eunuchs and a small percentage of people can be born with hermaphroditism, then it is reasonable to assume that sin could also impact the aspects of our being that determine sexual attraction and/or gender identity. If people are born with all sorts of other birth defects, it is dubious to claim gender dysphoria could not also be a birth defect.

At the same time, sins such as anger and lust, even though they can have a biological component, are still sins. Even if there is a legitimate biological/genetic basis to a certain person’s gender dysphoria, the fact remains that embracing that dysphoria is sinful.

As Christians, we should show grace and compassion to those struggling with transgenderism. We should never forget that every human being, male or female, is created in the image and likeness of God. We should speak the truth that there are only two genders while also demonstrating love to those struggling with gender dysphoria (see Ephesians 4:15).

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

101 Frequently Asked Questions About Homosexuality by Mike Haley

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[Patriot]

What are some Bible verses about sex?​

ANSWER

Hebrews 13:4
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

Genesis 2:24
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Genesis 1:28
And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

1 Corinthians 7:3-5
The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Proverbs 5:18-19
Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.

Song of Solomon 2:16-17
My beloved is mine, and I am his; he grazes among the lilies. Until the day breathes and the shadows flee, turn, my beloved, be like a gazelle or a young stag on cleft mountains.

Song of Solomon 7:6-10
How beautiful and pleasant you are, O loved one, with all your delights! Your stature is like a palm tree, and your breasts are like its clusters. I say I will climb the palm tree and lay hold of its fruit. Oh may your breasts be like clusters of the vine, and the scent of your breath like apples, and your mouth like the best wine. It goes down smoothly for my beloved, gliding over lips and teeth. I am my beloved's, and his desire is for me.

Song of Solomon 8:4
I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.

2 Timothy 2:22
So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

Colossians 3:5
Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;

1 Corinthians 6:18
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

Matthew 5:28
But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

1 Corinthians 7:5
Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

Ephesians 5:3
But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.

Proverbs 6:32
He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself.

Galatians 5:19-21
Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Romans 13:13-14
Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.

Unless otherwise noted, all Bible verses are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® Copyright© 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Special thanks to OpenBible.info for the data on the most well-known Bible verses.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

The MacArthur Topical Bible: A Comprehensive Guide to Every Major Topic Found in the Bible

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[Patriot]

What are some Bible verses about sexuality?​

ANSWER

Hebrews 13:4
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

Matthew 19:4
He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female,"

Matthew 5:28
But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Leviticus 20:13
If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.

Leviticus 18:22
You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

1 Corinthians 6:18
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

Romans 1:26-27
For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.

Genesis 2:24
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

1 Corinthians 7:2
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

Ephesians 5:3
But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.

1 Corinthians 6:19
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,

Colossians 3:5
Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

Genesis 1:27
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Matthew 19:4-6
He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;

Exodus 20:14
You shall not commit adultery.

Jude 1:7
Just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual immorality and pursued unnatural desire, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire.

1 Timothy 1:9-10
Understanding this, that the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine,

1 Corinthians 6:18-20
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Unless otherwise noted, all Bible verses are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® Copyright© 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Special thanks to OpenBible.info for the data on the most well-known Bible verses.

 

[Patriot]

Why did God allow incest in the Bible?​

ANSWER

There are numerous examples of incest in the Bible. The most commonly thought-of examples are the sons/daughters of Adam and Eve (Genesis 4), Abraham marrying his half-sister Sarah (Genesis 20:12), Lot and his daughters (Genesis 19), Moses’ father Amram who married his aunt Jochebed (Exodus 6:20), and David’s son Amnon with his half-sister Tamar (2 Samuel 13). It is important to note, however, that in two of the above instances (Tamar and Lot), one of the parties involved was an unwilling participant in the incest—better described as rape in those cases.

It is important to distinguish between incestuous relationships prior to God commanding against them (Leviticus 18:6–18) and incest that occurred after God’s commands had been revealed. Until God commanded against it, it was not incest. It was just marrying a close relative. It is undeniable that God allowed “incest” in the early centuries of humanity. Since Adam and Eve were the only two human beings on earth, their sons and daughters had no choice but to marry and reproduce with their siblings and close relatives. The second generation had to marry their cousins, just as after the flood the grandchildren of Noah had to intermarry amongst their cousins. One reason that incest is so strongly discouraged in the world today is the understanding that reproduction between closely related individuals has a much higher risk of causing genetic abnormalities. In the early days of humanity, though, this was not a risk due to the fact that the human genetic code was relatively free of defects.

Another consideration is that incest today almost always involves a pre-pubescent or powerless victim, and the perpetrator is abusing his or her authority with the goal of unilateral sexual pleasure. By that standard, the “incest” of the Bible has nothing whatsoever in common with modern-day incest. There was no power difference between Cain and his wife, for example; the goal of Abraham and Sarah’s marriage was to create a family. Intermarriage among close family members was a necessity in the generations immediately following Adam and Noah and was not a sinful perversion of sex.

It seems that, by the time of Moses, the human genetic code had become polluted enough that close intermarriage was no longer safe. So, God commanded against sexual relations with siblings, half-siblings, parents, and aunts/uncles (Genesis 2:24 seems to indicate that marriage and sexual relations between parents and children were never allowed by God). It was not until many centuries later that humanity discovered the genetic reason that incest is unsafe and unwise. Genetics was not an issue in the early centuries of humanity, and the marriages that occurred between Adam and Eve’s children, Abraham and Sarah, and Amram and Jochebed were not selfish pursuits of sexual gratification or abuses of authority; accordingly, those relationships should not be viewed as incestuous. The key is that sexual relations between close relatives were viewed differently pre-Law and post-Law. It did not become “incest” until God commanded against it.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

Something Needs to Change: A Call to Make Your Life Count in a World of Urgent Need by David Platt

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[Patriot]

Is it a sin to have a sexual fetish?​

ANSWER

A sexual fetish is usually an interest in a particular part of the body, feet for example. Fetishes range from an attraction to an absolute obsession. The question arises, then, is it wrong to have a sexual fetish? The answer depends on the status of the person asking the question and the extent to which the sexual fetish is practiced.

There is nothing wrong with finding a particular part of the body especially attractive. The Bible says that our bodies are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Within the confines of marriage, there is nothing wrong with a husband and/or wife particularly enjoying a part of their spouse’s body. While some fetishes seem very strange, there is no body part that is "off limits" between a husband and wife, within the "mutual consent" concept (1 Corinthians 7:5). Within a marriage, a sexual fetish would only become sinful if it became an obsession (an idol), or if the fetish bothered the spouse or in any way went against his/her will. Please read our article on "What is a Christian couple allowed to do in sex?"

For an unmarried person, again, it is not wrong to have an attraction to a particular part of the body. The unmarried person, though, needs to be especially careful that the attraction does not turn into lust. As soon as the attraction turns into a desire to do something immoral, it has become sin. An attraction to the opposite sex is normal and natural. Again, attraction is not the issue. But as Jesus said, "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:27-28).

Certain fetishes seem exceedingly strange to some people. At the same time, within the confines of a mutually consenting marriage, it is not wrong to have a sexual fetish. The key is avoiding obsession, lust, and making the spouse uncomfortable. For the unmarried, a sexual fetish should be suppressed as much as possible. Something as harmless as an attraction to feet can turn into lust, which can turn into sexual immorality. Romans 6:19 says, "Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness."

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

The Act of Marriage by Tim and Beverly LaHaye

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[Patriot]

Is cyber-sex / phone sex a sin?​

ANSWER

The Bible nowhere mentions cyber-sex (cybersex) or phone sex, obviously, because "cyber-anything" and "phone-anything" were not possible in Bible times. The answer to this question depends somewhat on whether the people involved are married to each other. Within marriage, cyber-sex / phone sex would fall under the "mutual consent" principle of 1 Corinthians 7:5. For more information, please see our article on what is sexually allowed in a marriage.

Outside of marriage, the Word of God gives us some principles that would definitely apply to cyber-sex / phone sex. Philippians 4:8 tells us, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Further, there are many Scriptures which indicate that sex outside of marriage is a sin (Acts 15:20; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13,18; 7:2; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7). Jesus Himself taught us that to desire something that is sinful is also sinful: “You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:27-28). Proverbs 23:7 says, “For as he thinks within himself, so he is.”

Cyber-sex and phone sex are, in essence, desiring something that is sinful (fornication or adultery). Cyber-sex and phone sex are fantasizing about that which is immoral and impure. In no sense could cyber-sex or phone sex be considered noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy. Cyber-sex and phone sex are virtual adultery. They are fantasizing about a person lustfully and encouraging another person into immoral lust. They lead a person into the trap of “ever-increasing wickedness” (Romans 6:19). A person who is immoral in his/her mind and desires will eventually become immoral in his/her actions. Yes, outside of marriage, cyber-sex and phone sex are sinful.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

Every Man’s Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Purity One Victory at a Time by Stephen ArterburnThe Game Plan by Joe Dallas

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[Patriot]

Is it wrong for a married couple to have sex just for pleasure?​

ANSWER

The Bible is straightforward about the origin of sex: God created the two genders, and human sexuality, including all its physical, emotional, and spiritual intricacies, is God’s invention. Of course, sexual intercourse serves to perpetuate the human race, but sex has more than a utilitarian purpose. Sex is pleasurable, and it is an intimate act; it helps create a bond between a husband and wife. Some people struggle with the issue of the pleasurableness of sex. Is it wrong for a married couple to have sex for pleasure, or should sex be reserved only for those times when the couple is trying to have a baby?

Because of the pervasiveness of pornography and the widespread perversion of sex in our culture, some people, including some sincere Christians, get the idea that sex for pleasure is wrong. They feel guilty about enjoying sex and would rather keep it within the confines of procreation; sex becomes something to be tolerated, because it is the only way to make babies. Such a perspective is not biblical. Sex does not equal sin—not even sex for pleasure. Immorality (sex outside of marriage by God’s definition) is wrong, but not sex within marriage. “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” (Hebrews 13:4).

A married couple having sex for pleasure is no more sinful than that same couple enjoying a chocolate dessert together. There’s not much practical about eating a dessert: is not eaten to sustain life or to provide nutrition; it is eaten for pleasure. As long as the couple keeps their dessert-eating within appropriate bounds, their enjoyment of chocolate desserts is fine. If they start lusting for chocolate, gluttonously eating nothing but chocolate, or stealing chocolate, then there is a problem. But the enjoyment of the dessert is fine in itself.

One Old Testament book deals at length with the subject of passion and sex for pleasure within marriage. The Song of Solomon is so detailed in its description of the wedding night that allegories were used to tone it down and, traditionally, Hebrew boys couldn’t read it until they were 12 years old, when they became men. The beautiful imagery of chapter 4 evokes scenes of serenity and delight. This is not a couple doing what they have to do in order to conceive; this is a couple surrendering to one another and simply enjoying each other. They are having sex for pleasure.

The biology of the human body argues for the acceptability of sex for pleasure. God designed the body to respond pleasurably to touch in certain areas. He could have made us with no desire for sex and no gratifying sensations during sex, but He didn’t. He gave us sex not merely as the means to propagate but, as a bonus, a gift to be enjoyed. God intended sex to be pleasurable.

Biblically, a married couple is expected to have sexual relations: “Since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7:3–5). According to this passage, the normal, natural state of marriage is for a husband and wife to have sex regularly. The deprivation spoken of is not the denial of having children but the withholding of sexual relations. If a husband and wife are not having sex for pleasure, then something is wrong.

Sex, whether it’s sex for procreation or sex for pleasure, is a gift from God to the marital union. The feelings of sexual longings and pleasure during sex were created by God, and God created marriage to fulfill those longings and experience that pleasure. We must not forget that God fashioned us for sex and created the emotions to go with it; pleasure was intended. We shouldn’t let Satan and his lies keep us from enjoying our spouses or fall into the counterfeit sexual pleasures that the world offers outside of marriage. God’s pleasure is real and satisfying; Satan’s counterfeit is empty and destructive.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

The Act of Marriage by Tim and Beverly LaHaye

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[Patriot]

What does the Bible say about sex addiction?​

ANSWER

The concept of sex addiction being a psychological disorder similar to other obsessive-compulsive disorders, or similar to other addictions, such as alcoholism or illicit drug use, is a recent development. Previously, a man (or woman) who was promiscuous was said to be immoral and filled with lust. The issue now is that something the Bible says is a sin, promiscuous sex outside of marriage, is being labeled as a psychological disorder. For some, this is an excuse, an explaining away of a clear sin. So, is there such a thing as sex addiction, and if so, what does the Bible say about it?

First, let it be said that sex outside of marriage is always a sin (Acts 15:20; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13, 18; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7). There is never a time when it is right to have sex outside of marriage. With that said, it is important to note that sex is indeed addicting. A person who engages in sexual intercourse regularly will almost always become psychologically and physiologically addicted to it. Sex between a husband and his wife in marriage is "pure" (Hebrews 13:4) and is the God-ordained way of releasing the tension of a "sex addiction." Should a married couple allow themselves to become addicted to the point that sex becomes an obsession, a hindrance to other aspects of life? Of course not. Is it wrong for a husband and wife to desire regular sex with each other? Absolutely not. Sex in marriage is not sinful. A husband and his wife are biblically allowed to have sex as often as they want, in the spirit of mutual consent (1 Corinthians 7:5).

Sin itself is addicting. Most, if not all, sins are addicting if engaged in regularly. Lying, drinking in excess, smoking, gluttony, rage, pornography, etc., can all become habitual. Ultimately, all of us, in our fallen bodies, have a sin addiction. Immoral sex, just as other sins, can lead to "ever-increasing wickedness" (Romans 6:19). Just as illicit drug use leads to increasingly potent amounts of the drug being needed to achieve the same "high," so can immoral sex lead to increasingly frequent and "wild" intercourse in order to receive the same satisfaction. Yes, there is such a thing as sex addiction. A person truly can become psychologically and physiologically addicted to frequent, wild, experimental, and even obscenely immoral sex.

The fact that sex is addicting, and the biblical truth that sin is addicting, combined, lead to the conclusion that sex addiction does indeed exist. The fact that sex addiction exists, though, does not change the fact that it is sin. It is very important to recognize sex addiction as a sin, not to excuse it away as a psychological disorder. At the same time, we should not minimize the powerful hold sex addiction can have on a person. As with all sin addictions, the only true cure for sex addiction is Jesus Christ. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). Because of our sin, we all deserve the judgment of eternal death (Romans 6:23). Jesus, who was God in human form, paid the eternal/infinite penalty for us (2 Corinthians 5:21). If we fully trust His sacrifice on our behalf as the full payment for our sin, receiving Him as Savior in faith, He promises that all of our sins are forgiven. Then, God makes us a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17) and begins the process of conforming us to His will (Romans 12:1-2), including enabling us to overcome sin and break any sin addictions we have. "Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord" (Romans 7:24-25).

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

Sex, Food, and God: Breaking Free from Temptations, Compulsions, and Addictions by David Eckman

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[Patriot]

What does the Bible say about sex before marriage?​

ANSWER

In the Bible sexual sins are clearly condemned: adultery (consensual sex between a married person and someone other than his or her spouse) and fornication (sexual immorality in general) are specified. Sex before marriage, or premarital sex, is not addressed in that exact term, but it does fall within the scope of sexual immorality.

The Bible teaches that sex before marriage is immoral in a couple of different passages. One is 1 Corinthians 7:2, which says, “But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.” In this verse, marriage is presented as the “cure” for sexual immorality. Sexual union within marriage, which is commended, is set against immorality, which is to be avoided. Thus, any sex outside of marriage is considered immoral. This would have to include premarital sex.

Another verse that presents sex before marriage as immoral is Hebrews 13:4, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” Here, we have both adultery and fornication contrasted with what happens in the marriage bed. Marriage (and sexual intercourse within marriage) is honorable; all other types of sexual activity are condemned as immoral and bring God’s judgment.

Based on these passages, a biblical definition of sexual immorality would have to include sex before marriage. That means that all the Bible verses that condemn sexual immorality in general also condemn sex before marriage. These include Acts 15:20; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13, 18; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 1:7; and Revelation 21:8.

God designed sex, and the Bible honors marriage. Part of honoring marriage is the Bible’s promotion of complete abstinence before marriage. When two unmarried people engage in sexual intercourse, they are defiling God’s good gift of sex. Before marriage, a couple has no binding union, and they’ve entered no sacred covenant; without the marriage vows, they have no right to exploit the culmination of such vows.

Too often, we focus on the “recreation” aspect of sex without recognizing that there is another aspect—procreation. Sex within marriage is pleasurable, and God designed it that way. God wants men and women to enjoy sexual activity within the confines of marriage. Song of Solomon 4 and several other Bible passages (such as Proverbs 5:19) describe the pleasure of sex. However, God’s intent for sex includes producing children. Thus, for a couple to engage in sex before marriage is doubly wrong—they are enjoying pleasures not intended for them, and they are taking a chance of creating a human life outside of the family structure God intended for every child.

While practicality does not determine right from wrong, following the Bible’s instructions concerning sex before marriage would greatly benefit society. If the Bible’s message on sex before marriage were obeyed, there would be far fewer sexually transmitted diseases, far fewer abortions, far fewer unwed mothers and unwanted pregnancies, and far fewer children growing up without both parents in their lives. Abstinence saves lives, protects babies, gives sexual relations their proper value, and, most importantly, honors God. Sex between a husband and wife is the only form of sexual relations of which God approves.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

When God Writes Your Love Story: The Ultimate Guide to Guy/Girl Relationships by Eric & Leslie Ludy

Every Young Man’s Battle : Strategies for Victory in the Real World of Sexual Temptation by Stephen Arterburn

Every Young Woman’s Battle: Guarding Your Mind, Heart, and Body in a Sex-Saturated World by Shannon Ethridge

More insights from your Bible study - Get Started with Logos Bible Software for Free!

 

[Patriot]

What does the Bible say about sex before marriage? | GotQuestions.org​

22,244 views Apr 1, 2022

Got Questions Ministries

Is sex before marriage a sin? Is premarital sex considered fornication and/or sexual immorality in the Bible? What does the Bible say about sex, intimacy before marriage, and abstinence before marriage? In this video, Pastor Nelson with Bible Munch answers the question, “What does the Bible say about sex before marriage?”

* Source Article: https://www.gotquestions.org/sex-befo...

* Check out, Bible Munch! @Bible Munch https://www.youtube.com/BibleMunch

 

[Patriot]

What does the Bible say about oral sex?​

ANSWER

Oral sex, also known as “cunnilingus” when performed on females and “fellatio” when performed on males, is not mentioned in the Bible. There are two primary questions that are asked in regards to oral sex: (1) “is oral sex a sin if done before marriage?” and (2) “is oral sex a sin if done within a marriage?” While the Bible does not specifically address either question, there are definitely biblical principles that apply.

Is oral sex a sin if done before or outside of marriage?
This question is becoming increasingly common as young people are told that “oral sex is not really sex,” and as oral sex is promoted as a safer (no risk of pregnancy, less risk of sexually transmitted diseases*) alternative to sexual intercourse. What does the Bible say? Ephesians 5:3 declares, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity...because these are improper for God’s holy people.” The biblical definition of “immorality” is “any form of sexual contact outside of marriage” (1 Corinthians 7:2). According to the Bible, sex is to be reserved for marriage (Hebrews 13:4). Period. So, yes, oral sex is a sin if done before or outside of marriage.

Is oral sex a sin if done within a marriage?
Many, perhaps most, Christian married couples have had this question. What makes it difficult is the fact that the Bible nowhere says what is allowed or disallowed sexually between a husband and wife, other than, of course, any sexual activity that involves another person (swapping, threesomes, etc.) or that involves lusting after another person (pornography). Outside of these two restrictions, the principle of “mutual consent” would seem to apply (1 Corinthians 7:5). While this text specifically deals with abstaining from sex/frequency of sex, “mutual consent” is a good concept to apply universally in regards to sex within marriage. Whatever is done, it should be fully agreed on between the husband and his wife. Neither spouse should be forced or coerced into doing something he/she is not completely comfortable with. If oral sex is done within the confines of marriage and in the spirit of mutual consent, there is not a biblical case for declaring it to be a sin.

In summary, oral sex before marriage is absolutely a sin. It is immoral. It is in no sense a biblically acceptable alternative to sexual intercourse for unmarried couples. Within the confines of marriage, oral sex is free from sin as long as there is mutual consent.

*While oral sex is safer than sexual intercourse in regards to sexually transmitted diseases, it is definitely not safe. Chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, HIV/AIDS, and other STDs can be transmitted through oral sex.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

When God Writes Your Love Story: The Ultimate Guide to Guy/Girl Relationships by Eric & Leslie Ludy

More insights from your Bible study - Get Started with Logos Bible Software for Free!

 

[Patriot]

Is oral sex a sin? | What does the Bible say about oral sex?​

204,957 views Apr 25, 2018

Got Questions Ministries

Is Oral Sex a Sin? What does the Bible say about Oral Sex? Christian relationship advice for Christian couples about sex in marriage can be difficult to find. In this video, Pastor Nelson with Bible Munch offers Christian sex advice dealing with the question of Oral sex, from a biblical perspective. So, if you’re looking for guidelines for Christians sex, particularly on the subject of oral sex, this is the video for you.

* Curious about Bible Munch? Go check them out! https://www.youtube.com/BibleMunch

* Recent Bible Munch Videos: 4 Reasons why you Should NOT Read the Bible. ((FUNNY)) https://youtu.be/R3fwzMSysmo

 

[Patriot]

What does the Bible say about sex in marriage?​

ANSWER

Sex was created to be a unique experience to bind husband and wife together in what the Bible calls a “one flesh” unity (Matthew 19:6). Since God invented sex, He gets to set the parameters for its use, and He makes those parameters very clear throughout Scripture (Hebrews 13:4; 1 Corinthians 6:18). Sex was designed for marriage. Period. Any sex outside those boundaries is sin. And despite what current culture wants us to believe, marital sex is between a man and a woman, not two men or two women. Simple biology makes it obvious that male and female bodies were designed to fit together in a way that same-sex physiology cannot. God knows what He is doing. So let’s investigate what the Bible has to say about marital sex.

First of all, marital sex is to be the consummation of a lifetime commitment made by two people. In ancient times and in several different cultures, wedding celebrations often included a “bedding ceremony,” in which the bride and groom retreated to the bedchamber to consummate their marriage. They would return to the party afterwards, and the celebration with friends and family would go on. The marriage was not considered complete until the bride and groom experienced sexual intimacy. While that may seem a bit crass according to our modern standards, it does illustrate the value that many cultures traditionally placed on virginity and marital sex.

Because the sexual drive is so powerful, the Bible encourages marriage in order to avoid sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 7:1–2). Marital sex is to be mutual and frequent so that husband and wife are not tempted to commit adultery (1 Corinthians 7:5). The Bible gives detailed instructions about marriage, sexuality, and divorce in 1 Corinthians 7. The bodies of a husband and wife belong to each other. Verse 4 says, “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife.” This giving over of the body to the one we are committed to should eliminate any possibility of extramarital liaisons. When we understand that our bodies are not our own, that they’ve been pledged to a spouse, we can shut the door on any thoughts of loaning them to someone else.

Marriage was designed by God as a picture of the covenant relationship He wants with us (2 Corinthians 11:2). God places great importance on human sexuality because marital sex is the most intimate relationship two human beings can have. It is also a picture of the intimacy God created us to enjoy with Him. In marital sex, there is a giving over of the body, and in our spiritual relationship with God, we are to present our bodies as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1–2). The sexual act is a consummation of the covenant made between a man and a woman. Covenants were always consummated with the shedding of blood (Exodus 24:8), and, usually, blood is shed when virginity is lost. When God made His covenant with us, the blood of Christ was shed (Hebrews 13:20). Marital sex is more than a means of procreation and a safe outlet for our sexual drives. It is holy to God because it symbolizes the pure soul intimacy He wants to share with us. To engage in sex as a casual activity is to strip it of its true meaning.

Marital sex is the only sexual expression approved by our Creator. It should be treated as a sacred gift and enjoyed by husband and wife. We should guard our hearts and eyes from any outside temptations that try to sully or steal sexual intimacy. Pornography, extramarital affairs, divorce, and promiscuity all rob us of the beauty and value God wove into the sexual act. We cannot experience all God designed sexuality to be unless we save all sexual activities for marriage.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

The Act of Marriage by Tim and Beverly LaHaye

More insights from your Bible study - Get Started with Logos Bible Software for Free!

 

[Patriot]

Premarital sex – why are Christians so strongly against it?​

ANSWER

Premarital sex involves any kind of sexual contact prior to entering into a legal marriage relationship. There are a number of reasons why Scripture and traditional Christianity oppose this. God designed sex to be enjoyed within a committed marital relationship of one man and one woman. To remove it from that context is to pervert its use and severely limit its enjoyment. Sexual contact involves a level of intimacy not experienced in any other human relationship. When God brought Adam and Eve together in marriage, He established the “one flesh” relationship. Genesis 2:24 tells us that a man will leave his family, join to his wife, and become “one flesh” with her.

This idea is carried through in the New Testament as well; we see it in Jesus’ words in Matthew 19:5 and Mark 10:7. Paul elaborates on the idea in 1 Corinthians 6:12-20, in his discussion of God’s lordship over our bodies as well as our souls. He says that when a man has sex with a prostitute, they have become “one body” (verse 16). It’s clear that the sexual relationship is special. There is a level of vulnerability one experiences in a sexual relationship that should only occur within a committed, trusting, marital union.

There are, in general, two contexts for premarital sex. There is the “we love each other and are committed to each other, but just don’t want to wait to be married” sexual relationship, and there’s “casual sex.” The former is often rationalized with the idea that the couple will surely marry, so there’s no sin in engaging in marital relations now. However, this shows impatience and disrespect to oneself, as well as to the other person. It removes the special nature of the relationship from its proper framework, which will erode the idea that there’s a framework at all. If we accept this behavior, it’s not long before we’ll regard any extra-marital sex as acceptable. To tell our prospective mate that they’re worth waiting for strengthens the relationship and increases the commitment level.

Casual sex is rampant in many societies. There is, in truth, no such thing as “casual” sex, because of the depth of intimacy involved in the sexual relationship. An analogy is instructive here. If we glue one object to another, it will adhere. If we remove it, it will leave behind a small amount of residue; the longer it remains, the more residue is left. If we take that glued object and stick it to several places repeatedly, it will leave residue everywhere we stick it, and it will eventually lose its ability to adhere to anything. This is much like what happens to us when we engage in “casual” sex. Each time we leave a sexual relationship, we leave a part of ourselves behind. The longer the relationship has gone on, the more we leave behind, and the more we lose of ourselves. As we go from partner to partner, we continue to lose a tiny bit of ourselves each time, and eventually we may lose our ability to form a lasting sexual relationship at all. The sexual relationship is so strong and so intimate that we cannot enter into it casually, no matter how easy it might seem.

So, is there hope? When a Christian engages in premarital sex, or when one who has lost his/her virginity comes to Christ, the Holy Spirit will convict of the sin, and there will be grief over it. However, it’s important—even vital—to remember that there is no sin beyond the reach of the blood of Jesus. If we confess, He will not only forgive, but will cleanse us from “all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). Furthermore, in addition to the forgiveness (which is in itself glorious), God restores. In Joel 2:25 God tells Israel that He would restore the years the locusts had eaten. This is not a direct promise to Christians today, but does indicate that God has restorative character. Premarital sex is like a locust that consumes our sense of self, our self-esteem, and our perception of forgiveness. But God can restore all those things. Scripture also tells us that, when we come to Christ, we are new creations (2 Corinthians 5:17), so one who engaged in premarital sex prior to conversion is recreated by God into a new person; the old is gone, the new has come.

Finally, we know that, as Christians, we’re being renewed by the Holy Spirit each day we walk with Jesus. Colossians 3:10 tells us that our new self is being renewed day by day after the image of its Creator. There is no sin without hope. The power of the gospel is available to all who trust in Jesus for forgiveness.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

When God Writes Your Love Story: The Ultimate Guide to Guy/Girl Relationships by Eric & Leslie Ludy

Every Young Man’s Battle : Strategies for Victory in the Real World of Sexual Temptation by Stephen Arterburn

Every Young Woman’s Battle: Guarding Your Mind, Heart, and Body in a Sex-Saturated World by Shannon Ethridge

More insights from your Bible study - Get Started with Logos Bible Software for Free!

 

[Patriot]

Is sex a sin?​

ANSWER

In the proper setting, sex is not a sin. In fact, sex is God’s idea. In Matthew 19:4-6, Jesus states with godly authority, “At the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” The creation account is thus the foundation for the institution of marriage, which was validated by the Creator Himself and established to be a lifelong union between one man and one woman.

The very fact that God created humanity as “male and female” reveals that we are created as sexual beings. And God’s command to “be fruitful and multiply” cannot be fulfilled without sex (Genesis 1:28). Sex is a God-given mandate, so there is no way that sex is a sin if done with one’s lifelong marriage partner of the opposite sex.

The word sex is not found in the Bible. The numerous mentions of the word in society, and the world’s tendency to sneer, have given the word a certain amount of notoriety. But God never intended it to be a dirty word.

The Song of Solomon follows a loving relationship between a husband and his wife through the betrothal period, wedding night, and beyond. The description of the husband and wife’s pleasure in chapter 4 is discreet yet unmistakable in its meaning. That description is followed in Song of Solomon 5:1 with God’s approval: “Eat, friends, and drink; drink your fill of love.”

It is only outside of marriage that sex is sinful. God made it very certain that the marriage bed must be kept pure (Hebrews 13:4). Sexual activity outside of marriage is called fornication. First Corinthians 6:9-10 says, “Do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men . . . will inherit the kingdom of God.” Engaging in sex without the benefit of marriage is immoral, and “it is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality” (1 Thessalonians 4:3; cf. 1 Corinthians 6:18).

If the Bible’s message on abstaining from sex until married were upheld, there would be far fewer sexually transmitted diseases, far fewer abortions, far fewer unwanted pregnancies, and far fewer children growing up without both parents in their lives. Abstinence saves lives, gives sexual relations the proper value and, most importantly, honors God.

In no way is sex between a husband and wife a sin. Rather, it is a beautiful expression of love, trust, sharing, and unity. Sex is God’s gift to a married couple for pleasure and procreation.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

The Act of Marriage by Tim and Beverly LaHaye

More insights from your Bible study - Get Started with Logos Bible Software for Free!

 

[Patriot]

If an unmarried couple has sex, are they married in God’s eyes?​

ANSWER

It is true that sexual relations is the ultimate fulfillment of a couple becoming “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). However, the act of sex does not equal marriage. If that were so, there would be no such thing as premarital sex—once a couple had sex, they would be married. The Bible calls premarital sex “fornication.” It is repeatedly condemned in Scripture along with all other forms of sexual immorality (Acts 15:20; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13,18; 10:8; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7). The Bible promotes abstinence before marriage as the standard of godliness. Sex before marriage is just as wrong as adultery and other forms of sexual immorality because they all involve having sex with someone other than your spouse.

If an unmarried couple has sex, does that mean they are married? The Bible gives us no reason to believe this to be the case. The act of sexual relations may have made them for a moment physically joined, but that does not mean God has joined them together as husband and wife. Sex is an important aspect of marriage, the physical act of marriage. Sex between unmarried people, though, does not equal marriage.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

Why True Love Waits by Josh McDowell.

Men
-Every Young Man’s Battle : Strategies for Victory in the Real World of Sexual Temptation by Stephen Arterburn.

Women -Every Young Woman’s Battle: Guarding Your Mind, Heart, and Body in a Sex-Saturated World by Shannon Ethridge

More insights from your Bible study - Get Started with Logos Bible Software for Free!

 

[Patriot]

How often should a married couple have sex?​

ANSWER

The Bible doesn’t tell us how often a married couple should have sex; it does tell us that a couple is to abstain only when it is a mutual decision. First Corinthians 7:5 tells us, "Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." So, mutual consent is the "rule" for how often a married couple should have sex. The "rule" is that abstaining from sex must be agreed upon, and that even when it is agreed upon, it should only be for a short time.

Sex should not be withheld or demanded. If one spouse does not want to have sex, the other spouse should agree to abstain. If one spouse wants to have sex, the other spouse should agree. It is all a matter of compromise. We must remember that our bodies belong to our spouses, as 1 Corinthians 7:4 tells us, "The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife." Obviously, the "sexual compromise" in marriage must be reasonable. If one spouse desires sex every day, and the other spouse once a month or less, they will have to lovingly and sacrificially agree to a compromise, a middle ground. Studies show that taking into account all age ranges, a typical married couple has sex 2 times per week.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

The Act of Marriage by Tim and Beverly LaHaye

More insights from your Bible study - Get Started with Logos Bible Software for Free!

 

[Patriot]

What does the Bible say about getting a sex change?​

ANSWER

Although sex-change operations are not specifically mentioned in Scripture, human sexuality is spelled out clearly, starting in Genesis: "So God created people in his own image; God patterned them after himself; male and female he created them. God blessed them and told them, multiply and fill the earth and subdue it" (Genesis 1:27-28a). Genesis 1:31 tells us that His creation was excellent in every way. To say that gender does not matter is to disagree with God’s design for creation and His proclamation that it was very good.

God is also very clear about appropriate sexual behavior. Sex is to be had and enjoyed in a monogamous marriage relationship between a man and a woman (1 Corinthians 7:2; Hebrews 13:4). Homosexual behavior is wrong (Genesis 19:1-13; Leviticus 18:22; 20:13; Romans 1:26-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9). Cross-dressing is unacceptable (Deuteronomy 22:5). God talks about gender roles as well, such as male headship of the home and church (Ephesians 5:21-33). However, the Bible does not discuss culturally stereotypical gender roles. In fact, it gives a full view of personhood. While keeping the male-female distinction clear, the Bible provides multiple examples of men and women who are both nurturers and courageous leaders (such as David and the Proverbs 31 wife). Nowhere does the Bible imply that a person’s sex is negotiable or optional. The Bible affirms both males and females in their worth and their personhood. People’s gender matters, but we are not merely sexual beings (Galatians 3:23-29). It would seem, then, that sex-change procedures are not biblically acceptable.

However, some very rare exceptions must be mentioned. There are people who experience physical defects in regard to gender. The most common—although still extremely rare—would be that of an intersex condition in which a person has a mixture of male and female sexual organs. For people with disorders of sex development (DSDs), it is usually possible to determine their genetic gender and correct the birth defect through medical intervention. This is not a sex-change operation, of course, but simply a remedy to a physical problem.

Gender distortion is sin, but those struggling with their gender identity have an answer. For those who consider a sex change surgery due to past woundedness or abuse, there is healing through Jesus Christ. Those who wish to challenge the categories of gender to find some sort of freedom or justification can instead find true freedom in a relationship with God. Those who wish to change their sex in order to engage in sinful sexual practices can repent and be saved. Paul wrote, "Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God" (1 Corinthians 6:9-11). Apart from Christ we are all dead in our sins (Ephesians 2:1). But in Christ, we are made alive (Ephesians 2:5) and given a new identity, as a member of God’s family (Romans 8:14-17).

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

What Does the Bible Really Teach About Homosexuality? by Kevin DeYoung

More insights from your Bible study - Get Started with Logos Bible Software for Free!