S'pore sugar baby, 31, at a loss over what to do as sugar daddy, 55, won't pay the S$600 he owes her - Mothership.SG
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A 31-year-old single mother in Singapore, who became a sugar baby for extra cash to support her child, has been left high and dry.
This was after a 55-year-old sugar daddy she met up with for a romp allegedly refused to pay her the agreed-upon amount of S$600 following the first and last time they ever had sex.
She was unsure if the police could get involved, so she turned to the media instead.
Being a sugar baby is not her full-time job, but a side hustle she recently picked up.
As a single mother with an autistic child, she turned to sugar babying in early 2023 on top of holding down a regular job, as a means of extra financial support for her kid's medical and therapy bills.
She had yet to learn the rules of the trade and did not think that people would not pay.
The man had a "premium membership" and claimed to be 55 years old.
He also described himself as being separated from his previous partner and has three children.
Image via screenshot from website
"I was chatting with a few guys, but I decided to meet up with him because his timing matches mine," the woman said.
As seen in screenshots of the chat messages shared between the pair, the man claimed he could only meet during "regular office hours" as he was a single dad raising three kids at home.
Image via Mothership Reader
The woman also provided a glimpse of the banter and flirting online, which soon moved from the sugar daddy-sugar baby website to a more intimate channel — Telegram.
Image via Mothership reader
The pair shared their personal histories, family backgrounds and then intimate photos with the self-destructing function on Telegram.
She thought he appeared trustworthy, as his display photo on Telegram was a picture of himself — unlike most other men who try to hide their identities.
After about a month of back-and-forth online, they decided to meet up for a lunchtime romp in a hotel in November.
She had always accepted payment after the deed was done, which was about S$1,200 to S$1,800 in total for two to three meet-ups each month
She assumed the new sugar daddy would do the same.
The other men previously had never failed to pony up with the money, so she thought that it would be okay to give him the "benefit of the doubt".
When she quoted her usual rates of S$600 per meet-up "with intimacy", the sugar daddy accepted.
This was a rate quoted to her by her first sugar daddy as she "was new and didn’t know what the market rates were like for sugaring".
Image via Mothership reader
As the sugar daddy did not "like to be rushed", the pair agreed to hang out for about three hours during lunch break.
"I think his size was almost times two, and he looked much older," she said. "But to me, it's not an issue, so long as I get my money."
The sugar baby also realised that the man was more "crude" and swore a lot.
After everything was done and dusted, the pair fell asleep for a bit.
At around 3:30pm, the woman woke up and began rushing to return to work.
She said:
She sent another text at 12am.
She tried calling him, but he did not pick up.
Image via Mothership reader
She claimed he blocked her on Telegram after he read her messages.
This prompted her to text him via WhatsApp at 2am, threatening to expose him to his family and company if he did not pay up.
Image via Mothership reader
She claimed he blocked her on WhatsApp as well.
Armed with only the knowledge of the man's real name, photo, and occupation, the woman combed through his Facebook profile.
The information online stated that he is a property agent with a computer science degree.
She said he has two tattoos on his body, one of which is on his buttocks.
"We hope that such cases will in future be classified as rape," they said.
With the consent of the victim, they will then conduct "fact-finding and assist in the compilation of evidence".
Depending on the circumstances of the case, they may offer to mediate, seek legal advice, and/ or accompany the victim to make a police report.
She said that she wants to warn other sugar babies about this man in particular.
This incident did not scare her off the sugar baby site though.
She is still "exploring", she said, but will be certain to get upfront payment in the future.
"I believe everyone has their own reason for doing anything," she stated, saying that people should reserve the right to pick their own life paths.
Although she took measures to conceal her double life from her family, she maintained that she would not be ashamed if it all came to light.
She said that she was "pretty sure" that her family members will understand why she did so "because it’s never easy to be a single mother" and a low income earner in Singapore.
She pointed out that "sugar babying" is not just about "sexual activity" as sugar babies provide "companionship and intimacy".
She added:
"In terms of finding the right balance between the freedom of people, including young people to make moral choices within the realm of what is legally permissible, and acting as a regulator to curb sites both online and of course in the real world platforms to protect, I think [the Ministry] need to strike the right balance," he said.
He addressed concerns that surfaced regarding the possible "harm and exploitation" these websites subject young people to.
Deeming the relationships forged from such platforms to be "transactional" and "in the favour of older and wealthier people", Lee stated that young women might "feel pressurised to comply with their wishes or demands, and risk physical or sexual harm if they reject them".
Lee also said the police will keep a close eye on such a sugar dating platform, as well as those who use its services.
The 40-year-old tricked his young victims into having sex with him under the guise of evaluating their worth for wealthy clients.
He was later sentenced to eight years and five months' jail and fined S$20,000.
Top images via Unsplash & Mothership reader
mothership.sg
This was after a 55-year-old sugar daddy she met up with for a romp allegedly refused to pay her the agreed-upon amount of S$600 following the first and last time they ever had sex.
She was unsure if the police could get involved, so she turned to the media instead.
Turned to sugar daddies for her autistic child
Speaking to Mothership, the woman said she has not been a sugar baby for long.Being a sugar baby is not her full-time job, but a side hustle she recently picked up.
As a single mother with an autistic child, she turned to sugar babying in early 2023 on top of holding down a regular job, as a means of extra financial support for her kid's medical and therapy bills.
She had yet to learn the rules of the trade and did not think that people would not pay.
Matched through a website
She was matched with the sugar daddy on a website.The man had a "premium membership" and claimed to be 55 years old.
He also described himself as being separated from his previous partner and has three children.
Seemed like a decent guy
"He sounded nice," the woman recounted."I was chatting with a few guys, but I decided to meet up with him because his timing matches mine," the woman said.
As seen in screenshots of the chat messages shared between the pair, the man claimed he could only meet during "regular office hours" as he was a single dad raising three kids at home.
The woman also provided a glimpse of the banter and flirting online, which soon moved from the sugar daddy-sugar baby website to a more intimate channel — Telegram.
The pair shared their personal histories, family backgrounds and then intimate photos with the self-destructing function on Telegram.
She thought he appeared trustworthy, as his display photo on Telegram was a picture of himself — unlike most other men who try to hide their identities.
After about a month of back-and-forth online, they decided to meet up for a lunchtime romp in a hotel in November.
Negotiated rates
Prior to this meet-up, the woman said she had gone out with two other guys she had met on the same site.She had always accepted payment after the deed was done, which was about S$1,200 to S$1,800 in total for two to three meet-ups each month
She assumed the new sugar daddy would do the same.
The other men previously had never failed to pony up with the money, so she thought that it would be okay to give him the "benefit of the doubt".
When she quoted her usual rates of S$600 per meet-up "with intimacy", the sugar daddy accepted.
This was a rate quoted to her by her first sugar daddy as she "was new and didn’t know what the market rates were like for sugaring".
As the sugar daddy did not "like to be rushed", the pair agreed to hang out for about three hours during lunch break.
Low expectations, but still disappointed
When the sugar daddy arrived at the hotel at around 12:30pm, the women noticed his physical appearance was not as impressive as it seemed on Telegram."I think his size was almost times two, and he looked much older," she said. "But to me, it's not an issue, so long as I get my money."
The sugar baby also realised that the man was more "crude" and swore a lot.
After everything was done and dusted, the pair fell asleep for a bit.
At around 3:30pm, the woman woke up and began rushing to return to work.
She said:
In a hurry to leave, the woman agreed.
Ghosted
According to screenshots produced by the woman, she had tried texting the man later that evening at 5:20pm, and then again that night at 9:30pm.She sent another text at 12am.
She tried calling him, but he did not pick up.
She claimed he blocked her on Telegram after he read her messages.
This prompted her to text him via WhatsApp at 2am, threatening to expose him to his family and company if he did not pay up.
She claimed he blocked her on WhatsApp as well.
Armed with only the knowledge of the man's real name, photo, and occupation, the woman combed through his Facebook profile.
The information online stated that he is a property agent with a computer science degree.
She said he has two tattoos on his body, one of which is on his buttocks.
Could be considered "consent manipulation"
Responding to Mothership's queries, a spokesperson from Project X, a local non-profit organisation that provides support for people in the sex industry, said a "strong signal needs to be sent that such forms of sexual violence and consent manipulation must not be condoned in our society"."We hope that such cases will in future be classified as rape," they said.
When a person approaches Project X with such a case, the organisation will first provide a listening ear to understand the situation and how they are feeling.
With the consent of the victim, they will then conduct "fact-finding and assist in the compilation of evidence".
Depending on the circumstances of the case, they may offer to mediate, seek legal advice, and/ or accompany the victim to make a police report.
Woman wants to warn other sugar babies
By this point, the woman is less interested in seeking justice for herself.She said that she wants to warn other sugar babies about this man in particular.
This incident did not scare her off the sugar baby site though.
She is still "exploring", she said, but will be certain to get upfront payment in the future.
On the sugar baby thing
The woman knows that people will look at her differently if they know she's a sugar baby, but she hopes they can understand that not everyone has a choice."I believe everyone has their own reason for doing anything," she stated, saying that people should reserve the right to pick their own life paths.
Although she took measures to conceal her double life from her family, she maintained that she would not be ashamed if it all came to light.
She said that she was "pretty sure" that her family members will understand why she did so "because it’s never easy to be a single mother" and a low income earner in Singapore.
She pointed out that "sugar babying" is not just about "sexual activity" as sugar babies provide "companionship and intimacy".
She added:
Balancing freedom and regulation
In a Parliament sitting in 2018, the then Minister for Social and Family Development Desmond Lee addressed concerns about sugar dating platforms such as Sugarbook."In terms of finding the right balance between the freedom of people, including young people to make moral choices within the realm of what is legally permissible, and acting as a regulator to curb sites both online and of course in the real world platforms to protect, I think [the Ministry] need
He addressed concerns that surfaced regarding the possible "harm and exploitation" these websites subject young people to.
Deeming the relationships forged from such platforms to be "transactional" and "in the favour of older and wealthier people", Lee stated that young women might "feel pressurised to comply with their wishes or demands, and risk physical or sexual harm if they reject them".
Lee also said the police will keep a close eye on such a sugar dating platform, as well as those who use its services.
Back in 2016, 11 women responded to an ad posted by a man called De Beers Wong Tian Jun, who claimed to be a sugar daddy agent, reported The Straits Times.
The 40-year-old tricked his young victims into having sex with him under the guise of evaluating their worth for wealthy clients.
He was later sentenced to eight years and five months' jail and fined S$20,000.
Top images via Unsplash & Mothership reader
