Family First: A Lesbian Couple’s Singaporean Dream for Legitimacy With a Biological Child
Story by Hykel Quek • FridayTop Image: Stephanie Lee / RICE Media & Cally Cheung and Ching Sia
Cally Cheung carefully makes her way to the sofa and settles beside her wife, Ching Sia. The couple had just returned home from a busy day. Potted plants dangle from their window, gently rocking back and forth to the breeze. A pile of records lies in the corner of the living room of their 3-bedroom apartment in Tanjong Katong.It’s a cosy living space—one that will welcome a new baby cot in the upcoming months for their bundle of joy. Cally, 28, expects to deliver her baby in mid-August this year.
Ching had just returned from Melbourne, Australia, with books for the newborn. “The books cost about $300. They weigh about 40 kilograms,” Ching, a 40-year-old realtor, explains with anticipation.
“All the books are about different types of families, different skin colours; very progressive books. A lot of them cannot be found in Singapore.” Sunlight from the merciless June sun filters into the living room. The array of plants lining their windows can only do so much to keep the heat out.
Cally (left) and Ching (right) have lunch together at home.© Provided by Rice Media
June has always been a busy month for both Cally and Ching. This year has been especially busy. Between regular health check-ups with their gynaecologist and dealing with the mid-year searing heat, Ching and Cally are hard at work organising events for Pride Month.
Both are plugged into Singapore’s LGBTQ+ community. Ching is part of the organising committee for this year’s Pink Dot—she’s been part of the organising committee for the past 10 years. Cally is the co-founder of Prout, a social and support platform for the local LGBTQ+ community.
“Obviously, we have books which say something like Mummy, Mama, and I,” Cally adds. They’ve invested much thought into how they’ll raise their kid in Singapore—a child of queer parents.
“We plan to be straightforward with the kid and explain that there are different types of families. Of course, the kid will also have a godfather.”
Cally and Ching at their wedding in Melbourne. Image courtesy of Cally Cheung and Ching Sia© Provided by Rice Media
The couple registered their marriage in Melbourne in September 2022 in an intimate signing ceremony in front of the Royal Exhibition Building. In Australia, they are legally married. In Singapore, however, the laws do not afford them the same legal recognition.
When the wheels of their return flight from Melbourne screeched on the tarmac of Changi Airport, the married couple are legally considered friends at best.
A Modern Love Story
Their first introductions to each other, shaped in the mould of all modern love stories, happened on Tinder in 2018. Ching’s profile was filled with personal details. Cally’s introduction to Ching, on the other hand, contained only three words in her description: “I like girls”.At the time, Ching was 35 years old. Cally was 23 at the time.
Image: Shiva Bharathi Gupta / RICE Media© Provided by Rice Media
They met at Plaza Singapura to watch Black Panther on their first date. “After the movie, we went to the basement. Ching turns around and tells me she’s going to get water from Guardian. Who the hell does that?” Cally jokes.
“Just a few steps away is Cold Storage. You can get water there at 40 cents. Guardian charges you two dollars. I thought she was irresponsible. So I went to get the water [at Cold Storage] for her.”
Princess, their cat, rises from its siesta and strolls into the living room. Ching chuckles at the memory. Her wedding speech featured the same first date story. She envisioned a possible future with Cally because of that very interaction.
Ching and Cally during a photoshoot for Out in SG in 2018—the year they first met. Image courtesy of Cally Cheung and Ching Sia© Provided by Rice Media
Their relationship blossomed. They dated for four years before Ching proposed to Cally while they were in Bhutan.
While Cally was distracted by the gorgeous landscape, Ching got down on one knee and proposed. A rainbow had just formed, wrapping the newly engaged couple under its arc while they celebrated their engagement.
The couple’s love story is just like any other, except for the fact that they have to prove their union to faceless bureaucracies.
“We do a lot of things to show that we are in a relationship. We need evidence to show we’re a unit—our marriage registration, wills and a lasting power of attorney. It’s morbid having to collect all this information to prove that my partner is someone to me,” Cally remarks.
