Single mothers share grizzly details of domestic abuse
NOR FARHANA YAACOB - Yesterday 2:03 pmMELAKA - A length of 20 years has done little to wipe away the memories of being a victim of domestic abuse for single mother Salbiah Abdul Hamid, 56.
Salbiah saddened while recalling her time with the short tempered man.© Provided by Sinar Daily
She said she still trembles on the verge of crying when she hears about abuse cases involving women or children.
She said the scars left by the man in her life then were still apparent even though she has forgiven her ex-husband.
She said she was faced with a short-tempered and jealous husband causing her life for over a decade to be a living nightmare.
"Being kicked, slapped and beaten was almost a daily occurrence. I have been beaten with a bicycle brake wire.
"I assumed that was a test in marriage, it's not that I didn't want to lodge a report but in the early 1980s the awareness towards domestic violence were low," she told Sinar when met at the Ibu Bistari Melaka Berhad Cooperative Spa in Pertama Jaya, here, on Monday.
The mother of five said her ex-husband was not supporting their livelihood and he hid his MyKad, making it difficult to lodge police reports.
Salbiah said he had always changed his profession and would tend to make a big issue of small matters outside and he was never held back on hitting her.
"Sometimes it would be a small matter like a person smiling towards me irritating him as he was very jealous.
"If I ate with my male family members for example plating rice for another person would anger him and he would hit me," she said.
Salbiah explained within 14 years of marriage she was blessed with two children causing difficulties for her to file for divorce at the time.
"He had divorced me outside of court on the reasons of wanting to marry another woman," she explained.
Salbiah who came from Taiping, Perak was then given a second chance to form a family with a man from her village.
"However, our marriage did not last long. Alhamdulillah after the second marriage I moved to Kuala Lumpur before moving to Malacca where my first husband was from.
"Although I am not from Malacca, I am grateful my life changed in this state. Now I am independent and can aid other women," she said.
She said she performed several jobs including a cleaner and working as a security officer at night to raise her four children she brought along.
"My advice is to forget about those 'womanisers' before marriage because there is no guarantee they will change for the better," she said.
Meanwhile in Kuantan a mother of two was forced to hold back her tears to maintain her household built 10 years ago.
The woman wanting to be known as Izana, 42, said she was prepared to be mentally and physically abused by her ex-husband rather than filing a divorce.
Izana became a victim of domestic violence for seven years and allowed herself to be beaten.© Provided by Sinar Daily
In the early stages of my marriage I was happy, but after seven years my husband started showing his short temper and jealousy.
"I was not allowed to work and talk with any man. I was beaten if I did. He would also use me as a place to vent his anger if there was a problem at work,
"My right leg had been broken before after being hit by my ex-husband. I was left to writhe in pain until I was forced to get help from neighbours," she said.
Izana who came from Beserah, Kelantan, said she has lodged a police report on her ex-husband, but it was withdrawn after being convinced by him that they could start anew.
"I was beaten again a month after when he knocked my head repeatedly on the wall and my body was bruised. I have once had an axe pointed towards me," she said.
Izana had hardened her resolve to lodge a domestic violence report and attempted to gain protection from the social welfare department.
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