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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
A lesson in marketing ....
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome - one has a cross in front of him; the other one the Star of David.
Many people go by, look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.
A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar behind the cross, but none to the beggar behind the Star of David.
Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says, "My poor fellow, don't you understand?
This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism.
People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross.
In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite."
The beggar behind the Star of David listened to the priest, turned to the other beggar with the cross and said: "Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing."
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome - one has a cross in front of him; the other one the Star of David.
Many people go by, look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.
A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar behind the cross, but none to the beggar behind the Star of David.
Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says, "My poor fellow, don't you understand?
This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism.
People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross.
In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite."
The beggar behind the Star of David listened to the priest, turned to the other beggar with the cross and said: "Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing."
Picking up an Airline Stewardess
A man is alone in an airport lounge.
A beautiful woman walks in and sit down at the table next to him.
He decides because she's wearing a uniform, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant.
So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.
He leans across to her and says the British Airways motto:
'To Fly. To Serve'?
The woman looks at him blankly
He sits back and thinks up another line.
He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto:
'Winning the hearts of the world'?
Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.
Undeterred, he tries again, this time citing the Malaysian Airlines motto:
'Going beyond expectations'?
The woman looks at him sternly and says,
'What the fuck do you want?'
'Aha!' he exclaims, " you are with Qantas!"
A man is alone in an airport lounge.
A beautiful woman walks in and sit down at the table next to him.
He decides because she's wearing a uniform, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant.
So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.
He leans across to her and says the British Airways motto:
'To Fly. To Serve'?
The woman looks at him blankly
He sits back and thinks up another line.
He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto:
'Winning the hearts of the world'?
Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.
Undeterred, he tries again, this time citing the Malaysian Airlines motto:
'Going beyond expectations'?
The woman looks at him sternly and says,
'What the fuck do you want?'
'Aha!' he exclaims, " you are with Qantas!"
Some old ones compiled
Virginity is like a Balloon,
One prick and it's gone for
ever!
Sex is like a pack of Chips,
Once you start!
You can't stop!
An Exam paper is like a
Dick, When it's hard!
People get fucked!
Education is like hiring a
prostitute, It needs both
Your money and your
Hardwork ..
Success is like
Masturbating, Only your
Own hand can let you
Achieve it!
Life without Friends is like
Boobs Without Nipples. IT'S
POINTLESS !
Fuck a woman and she
Loves you. Love a woman
when she Fucks you.
MBBS Final Exam question
paper: Fill in the blanks. If a
woman faints, we must first
check her pu_s_. Only few
students who wrote: 'Pulse'
passed.
The saddest part of a Man's
body is his Balls. They are
sentenced to Hang Till
Death!
Boy: How much Calcium is
there in women's BREASTS?
Girl: It Enough to help a
Man's Boneless Thing
stand up
Give an example of Total
Business Failure due to
Negligence. A Pregnant
Prostitute
If Necessity is the Mother
of Invention, Then
Frustration is the Father of
Masturbation!
If your Boss says: Nothing
is Impossible ask him to
wear condom after sex!
Virginity is like a Balloon,
One prick and it's gone for
ever!
Sex is like a pack of Chips,
Once you start!
You can't stop!
An Exam paper is like a
Dick, When it's hard!
People get fucked!
Education is like hiring a
prostitute, It needs both
Your money and your
Hardwork ..
Success is like
Masturbating, Only your
Own hand can let you
Achieve it!
Life without Friends is like
Boobs Without Nipples. IT'S
POINTLESS !
Fuck a woman and she
Loves you. Love a woman
when she Fucks you.
MBBS Final Exam question
paper: Fill in the blanks. If a
woman faints, we must first
check her pu_s_. Only few
students who wrote: 'Pulse'
passed.
The saddest part of a Man's
body is his Balls. They are
sentenced to Hang Till
Death!
Boy: How much Calcium is
there in women's BREASTS?
Girl: It Enough to help a
Man's Boneless Thing
stand up
Give an example of Total
Business Failure due to
Negligence. A Pregnant
Prostitute
If Necessity is the Mother
of Invention, Then
Frustration is the Father of
Masturbation!
If your Boss says: Nothing
is Impossible ask him to
wear condom after sex!
Nice avatar. MEOWWWWW
Really? Did Kong zhi said that?
The Wise Confucius say ..... !!!
Confucius say ..... " Virginity like bubble. One prick, all gone ! "
Confucius say ..... " Man with hand in pocket, feel cocky all day ! "
Confucius say ..... " Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife, upright organ ! "
Confucius say ..... " Wife who put husband in dog-house, soon find him in - cat house ! "
Confucius say ..... " Wife's panty, not best thing on earth. But next to best thing on earth ! "
Confucius say ..... " Man who fight with wife all day, get no ' piece ' at night ! "
Confucius say ..... " Man with tight trousers, is pressing his luck ! "
Confucius say ..... " Man kicked in testicles, left holding bag ! "
Confucius say ..... " It take many nails to build crib. But only one screw, to fill it ! "
Confucius say ..... " Secretary not permanent fixture, until screwed on top of desk ! "
Confucius say ..... " For wife, hole happy. Whole body happy ! "
Confucius say ..... " Married man should wash face in the morning. Neck & mouth at night ! "
Confucius say ..... " Don't drink and park. Accidents cause people ! "
Confucius say ..... " Dumb man climb tree to get cherry. Wise man spread legs of woman ! "
Confucius say ..... " State of pregnancy exists, when wife takes seriously, something poked in fun ! "
Confucius say ..... " Passionate kiss like spider's web. Soon lead to undoing of fly ! "
Confucius say ..... " Marriage is like game of poker. You start with pair and end with full house ! "
Confucius say ..... " Man's wife his better half. His mistress, his better hole ! "
Confucius say ..... " It is good for girl to meet boy in park. But, better for boy to park meat in girl ! "
Confucius say ..... " Man have more hair on chest than wife. But on hole, wife have more ! "
Confucius say ..... " Woman laid in tomb, may soon become mummy ! "
Confucius say ..... " Man with athletic finger, make broad jump ! "
Confucius say ..... " Man who marries girl with no bust, have right to feel low down ! "
Confucius say ..... " Man who fish in other man's well, often catch crabs ! "
Confucius say ..... " Man who sucks nipples, makes clean breast of things ! "
Confucius say ..... " Virgin with thimble on finger, never feel prick ! "
Confucius Say ..... " Blow job, like army. Closer to discharge, better it feels ! "
Confucius Say ..... " Woman who dance without bra, make believe ballroom ! "
Confucius Say ..... " Man who fondle girl having period, get caught red handed ! "
Confucius Say ..... " Never argue with a woman, when she's tired, or well rested ! "
Confucius Say ..... " If you want a committed man, look in mental hospital ! "
Confucius Say ..... " Woman who wears padded bra, makes mountains out of molehills ! "
Confucius Say ..... " Man who pulls on woman's bra-strap, may get bust in mouth ! "
Confucius say ..... " Girl's best asset, is her ` lie ' ability ! "
The Wise Confucius say ..... !!!
Confucius say ..... " Virginity like bubble. One prick, all gone ! "
Confucius say ..... " Man with hand in pocket, feel cocky all day ! "
Confucius say ..... " Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife, upright organ ! "
Confucius say ..... " Wife who put husband in dog-house, soon find him in - cat house ! "
Confucius say ..... " Wife's panty, not best thing on earth. But next to best thing on earth ! "
Confucius say ..... " Man who fight with wife all day, get no ' piece ' at night ! "
Confucius say ..... " Man with tight trousers, is pressing his luck ! "
Confucius say ..... " Man kicked in testicles, left holding bag ! "
Confucius say ..... " It take many nails to build crib. But only one screw, to fill it ! "
Confucius say ..... " Secretary not permanent fixture, until screwed on top of desk ! "
Confucius say ..... " For wife, hole happy. Whole body happy ! "
Confucius say ..... " Married man should wash face in the morning. Neck & mouth at night ! "
Confucius say ..... " Don't drink and park. Accidents cause people ! "
Confucius say ..... " Dumb man climb tree to get cherry. Wise man spread legs of woman ! "
Confucius say ..... " State of pregnancy exists, when wife takes seriously, something poked in fun ! "
Confucius say ..... " Passionate kiss like spider's web. Soon lead to undoing of fly ! "
Confucius say ..... " Marriage is like game of poker. You start with pair and end with full house ! "
Confucius say ..... " Man's wife his better half. His mistress, his better hole ! "
Confucius say ..... " It is good for girl to meet boy in park. But, better for boy to park meat in girl ! "
Confucius say ..... " Man have more hair on chest than wife. But on hole, wife have more ! "
Confucius say ..... " Woman laid in tomb, may soon become mummy ! "
Confucius say ..... " Man with athletic finger, make broad jump ! "
Confucius say ..... " Man who marries girl with no bust, have right to feel low down ! "
Confucius say ..... " Man who fish in other man's well, often catch crabs ! "
Confucius say ..... " Man who sucks nipples, makes clean breast of things ! "
Confucius say ..... " Virgin with thimble on finger, never feel prick ! "
Confucius Say ..... " Blow job, like army. Closer to discharge, better it feels ! "
Confucius Say ..... " Woman who dance without bra, make believe ballroom ! "
Confucius Say ..... " Man who fondle girl having period, get caught red handed ! "
Confucius Say ..... " Never argue with a woman, when she's tired, or well rested ! "
Confucius Say ..... " If you want a committed man, look in mental hospital ! "
Confucius Say ..... " Woman who wears padded bra, makes mountains out of molehills ! "
Confucius Say ..... " Man who pulls on woman's bra-strap, may get bust in mouth ! "
Confucius say ..... " Girl's best asset, is her ` lie ' ability ! "
This is a testimony to true friendship ...
A man brings his best buddy home for dinner, unannounced, at 5:30, after work.
His wife screams at him as his friend listens in.
"My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight !
What the hell did you bring him home for ?"
" Because he's thinking of getting married."
A man brings his best buddy home for dinner, unannounced, at 5:30, after work.
His wife screams at him as his friend listens in.
"My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight !
What the hell did you bring him home for ?"
" Because he's thinking of getting married."
The First Apple
A woman went through a red traffic light and crashed into a man's car.
Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt.
After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said;
"Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."
The man replied," I agree with you completely. "This must be a sign from God!"
The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us
to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police."
Adam ate the apple, too!
Men will never learn!
A woman went through a red traffic light and crashed into a man's car.
Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt.
After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said;
"Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."
The man replied," I agree with you completely. "This must be a sign from God!"
The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us
to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police."
Adam ate the apple, too!
Men will never learn!
Nice avatar. Meowwwww....
Yet another conspiracy theory on MH? Now it's Jewish angle :p
THE PLOT THICKENS
Subject: Israel's views of missing MH370
MH 370 - a conspiracy theory.
Have you heard of this conspiracy theory re the disappearance of MH 370? The story goes like this:
The American is withdrawing from the Afghanistan, one of their command and control system (used for controlling the pilotless drones) was hijacked by the Talebans when the American transport convoy was moving down from one of the hill top bases. The Talebans ambushed the convoy and killed 2 American Seal personnel, seized the equipment/weapons, including the command and control system which weighed about 20 tons and packed into 6 crates. This happened about a month ago in Feb 2014.
What the Talebans want is money. They want to sell the system to the Russian or the Chinese. The Russian is too busy in Ukraine. The Chinese are hungry for the system's technology. Just imagine if the Chinese master the technology behind the command and control system, all the American drones will become useless. So the Chinese sent 8 top defense scientists to check the system and agreed to pay millions for it.
Sometime in early Mar 2014, the 8 scientists and the 6 crates made their way to Malaysia, thinking that it was the best covert way to avoid detection. The cargo was then kept in the Embassy under diplomatic protection. Meanwhile the American has engaged the assistance of Israeli intelligence, and together they are determined to intercept and recapture the cargo.
The Chinese calculated that it will be safe to transport it via civilian aircraft so as to avoid suspicion. After all the direct flight from KL to Beijing takes only 4 and half hours, and the American will not hijack or harm the civilian. So MH370 is the perfect carrier.
There are 5 American and Israeli agents onboard who are familiar with Boeing operation. The 2 "Iranians" with stolen passports could be among them.
When MH370 is about to leave the Malaysian air space and reporting to Vietnamese air control, one American AWAC jammed their signal, disabled the pilot control system and switched over to remote control mode. That was when the plane suddenly lost altitude momentarily.
How the AWAC can do it ? Remember 911 incident ? After the 911 incident, all Boeing aircraft (and possibly all Airbus) are installed with remote control system to counter terrorist hijacking. Since then all the Boeing could be remote controlled by ground control tower. The same remote control system used to control the pilotless spy aircraft and drones.
The 5 American/Israeli agents soon took over the plane, switched off the transponder and other communication system, changed course and flew westwards. They dare not fly east to Philippines or Guam because the whole South China Sea air space was covered by Chinese surveillance radar and satellite.
The Malaysian, Thai and Indian military radars actually detected the unidentified aircraft but did not react professionally.
The plane flew over North Sumatra, Anambas, South India and then landed at Maldives (some villagers saw the aircraft landing), refuelled and continued its flight to Garcia Deigo, the American Air Base in the middle of Indian Ocean. The cargo and the black box were removed. The passengers were silenced via natural means, lack of oxygen. They believe only dead person will not talk. The MH370 with dead passengers were air borne again via remote control and crashed into South Indian Ocean, make it to believe that the plane eventually ran out of fuel and crashed, and blame the defiant captain and copilot.
The American has put up a good show. First diverting all the attention and search effort in the South China Sea while the plane made their way to Indian Ocean. Then they came out with some conflicting statement and evidence to confuse the world. The Australian is the co-actor.
The amount of effort put up by China, in terms of the number of search aircraft, ships and satellites, searching first the South China Sea, then the Malacca Straits and the Indian Ocean is unprecedented. This showed that the China is very concerned, not so much because of the many Chinese civilian passengers, but mainly the high value cargo and its 8 top defense scientists.
Don't believe the story? I don't expect you to but let's wait and see how the episode unveils itself. Or perhaps it will never be known until the next Snowden emerges.
THE PLOT THICKENS
Subject: Israel's views of missing MH370
MH 370 - a conspiracy theory.
Have you heard of this conspiracy theory re the disappearance of MH 370? The story goes like this:
The American is withdrawing from the Afghanistan, one of their command and control system (used for controlling the pilotless drones) was hijacked by the Talebans when the American transport convoy was moving down from one of the hill top bases. The Talebans ambushed the convoy and killed 2 American Seal personnel, seized the equipment/weapons, including the command and control system which weighed about 20 tons and packed into 6 crates. This happened about a month ago in Feb 2014.
What the Talebans want is money. They want to sell the system to the Russian or the Chinese. The Russian is too busy in Ukraine. The Chinese are hungry for the system's technology. Just imagine if the Chinese master the technology behind the command and control system, all the American drones will become useless. So the Chinese sent 8 top defense scientists to check the system and agreed to pay millions for it.
Sometime in early Mar 2014, the 8 scientists and the 6 crates made their way to Malaysia, thinking that it was the best covert way to avoid detection. The cargo was then kept in the Embassy under diplomatic protection. Meanwhile the American has engaged the assistance of Israeli intelligence, and together they are determined to intercept and recapture the cargo.
The Chinese calculated that it will be safe to transport it via civilian aircraft so as to avoid suspicion. After all the direct flight from KL to Beijing takes only 4 and half hours, and the American will not hijack or harm the civilian. So MH370 is the perfect carrier.
There are 5 American and Israeli agents onboard who are familiar with Boeing operation. The 2 "Iranians" with stolen passports could be among them.
When MH370 is about to leave the Malaysian air space and reporting to Vietnamese air control, one American AWAC jammed their signal, disabled the pilot control system and switched over to remote control mode. That was when the plane suddenly lost altitude momentarily.
How the AWAC can do it ? Remember 911 incident ? After the 911 incident, all Boeing aircraft (and possibly all Airbus) are installed with remote control system to counter terrorist hijacking. Since then all the Boeing could be remote controlled by ground control tower. The same remote control system used to control the pilotless spy aircraft and drones.
The 5 American/Israeli agents soon took over the plane, switched off the transponder and other communication system, changed course and flew westwards. They dare not fly east to Philippines or Guam because the whole South China Sea air space was covered by Chinese surveillance radar and satellite.
The Malaysian, Thai and Indian military radars actually detected the unidentified aircraft but did not react professionally.
The plane flew over North Sumatra, Anambas, South India and then landed at Maldives (some villagers saw the aircraft landing), refuelled and continued its flight to Garcia Deigo, the American Air Base in the middle of Indian Ocean. The cargo and the black box were removed. The passengers were silenced via natural means, lack of oxygen. They believe only dead person will not talk. The MH370 with dead passengers were air borne again via remote control and crashed into South Indian Ocean, make it to believe that the plane eventually ran out of fuel and crashed, and blame the defiant captain and copilot.
The American has put up a good show. First diverting all the attention and search effort in the South China Sea while the plane made their way to Indian Ocean. Then they came out with some conflicting statement and evidence to confuse the world. The Australian is the co-actor.
The amount of effort put up by China, in terms of the number of search aircraft, ships and satellites, searching first the South China Sea, then the Malacca Straits and the Indian Ocean is unprecedented. This showed that the China is very concerned, not so much because of the many Chinese civilian passengers, but mainly the high value cargo and its 8 top defense scientists.
Don't believe the story? I don't expect you to but let's wait and see how the episode unveils itself. Or perhaps it will never be known until the next Snowden emerges.
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