You should go back to ancient days, and take your Leviticus with you. You'll be safe and sound there, and we won't need to be subjected to your most perverse normality.
Since you mentioned Leviticus:
From THE WEST WING “The Midterms”
BARTLET
Forgive me, Dr. Jacobs. Are you an M.D.?
JENNA JACOBS
Ph.D.
BARTLET
A Ph.D.?
JENNA JACOBS
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
In Psychology?
JENNA JACOBS
No sir.
BARTLET
Theology?
JENNA JACOBS
No.
BARTLET
Social work?
JENNA JACOBS
I have a Ph.D. in English Literature.
BARTLET
I’m asking, ’cause on your show, people call in for advice and you go by the name of Dr. Jacobs on your show. And I didn’t know if maybe your listeners were confused by that, and assumed you had advanced training in Psychology, Theology, or health care.
JENNA JACOBS
I don’t believe they are confused, no sir.
BARTLET
Good. I like your show. I like how you call homosexuality an abomination.
JENNA JACOBS
I don’t say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President. The Bible does.
BARTLET
Yes, it does. Leviticus.
JENNA JACOBS
18:22
BARTLET
Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I had you here.
I’m interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She’s a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, and always clears the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be?
While thinking about that, can I ask another? My Chief of Staff, LeoO McGarry, insists on working on the Sabbath, Exodus 35:2, clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it okay to call the police?
Here’s one that’s really important, ’cause we’ve got a lot of sports fans in this town. Touching the skin of a dead pig makes us unclean, Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point?
Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother, John, for planting different crops side by side?
Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads?
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You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.
Leviticus 18:22
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Just some comic relief for the odd occasion when some Christian nutter starts shoving the Old Testament in my face