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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
World Cup Refund?
After Nigeria was eliminated from the World Cup, the Nigerian captain
personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans that travelled to
Brazil.
He said all these people have to do is to “ email him their bank account details and pin numbers “ to complete
the transaction.
After Nigeria was eliminated from the World Cup, the Nigerian captain
personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans that travelled to
Brazil.
He said all these people have to do is to “ email him their bank account details and pin numbers “ to complete
the transaction.
GOLF BALLS
A man got on the bus with both of his front trouser pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls."
The blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, thinking deeply about what he had said.
Finally, unable to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
AN OBSERVANT STUDENT
It was a practical experiment in a college psychology class. The professor brought out a large cage with a male rat in it. The rat was positioned in the middle of the cage.
The professor put a piece of cake on one side and added a female rat on the other side. The male rat ran towards the cake and ate it.
Then, the professor changed the cake and put in some cheese. The male rat ran towards the cheese.
This experiment went on with the professor changing the food and, every time, the male rat ran towards the food item and never towards the female rat.
The professor said, "This experiment shows that food is the most important attraction for males."
Then, one of the students from the back row said, "Sir, why don't you change the female rat? She might be his wife."
A man got on the bus with both of his front trouser pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls."
The blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, thinking deeply about what he had said.
Finally, unable to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
AN OBSERVANT STUDENT
It was a practical experiment in a college psychology class. The professor brought out a large cage with a male rat in it. The rat was positioned in the middle of the cage.
The professor put a piece of cake on one side and added a female rat on the other side. The male rat ran towards the cake and ate it.
Then, the professor changed the cake and put in some cheese. The male rat ran towards the cheese.
This experiment went on with the professor changing the food and, every time, the male rat ran towards the food item and never towards the female rat.
The professor said, "This experiment shows that food is the most important attraction for males."
Then, one of the students from the back row said, "Sir, why don't you change the female rat? She might be his wife."
Oldie but goodie. Hope it will take away the bad taste of what is happening in this forum.
Women's response to . . .
2 inches - I can't even hold it.
3 inches - Never been so unsatisfied
4 inches - I've had bigger than that . . .
5 inches - Good, but I wish a bit bigger!
6 inches - Perfect.
7 inches - Love it.
8 inches - Wow!, but cant have it all.
9 inches - Painful but manageable.
10 inches - Too much pressure on stomach.
What is your opinion of Subway Sandwiches?
2 inches - I can't even hold it.
3 inches - Never been so unsatisfied
4 inches - I've had bigger than that . . .
5 inches - Good, but I wish a bit bigger!
6 inches - Perfect.
7 inches - Love it.
8 inches - Wow!, but cant have it all.
9 inches - Painful but manageable.
10 inches - Too much pressure on stomach.
What is your opinion of Subway Sandwiches?
I prefer the 1- foot one, 2 people can share from both ends
Two robbers once broke into a bank in Britain .
Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank.
The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding.
As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, 'At least we can have something to eat before we leave.'
The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all safes were opened.
They did not find one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered little bowls of pudding.
Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.
Next morning the newspaper headline read:
' BRITAIN 'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING'
Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank.
The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding.
As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, 'At least we can have something to eat before we leave.'
The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all safes were opened.
They did not find one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered little bowls of pudding.
Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.
Next morning the newspaper headline read:
' BRITAIN 'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING'
A little humour
Who is a Psychiatrist? A qualified person who gives you an expensive & critical analysis about yourself, which your Spouse gives you for free, daily.
Scotch is a brilliant invention….One double and you start feeling Single again.
Notice at Church: Do not leave your mobiles, purses, wallets, handbags, girl-friends UNATTENDED - Others may think it is an answer to their prayers.
Global Recession and Financial Crisis have become so critical and serious now days that…majority of the men have started loving their own wives!!!!!!
A Priest is called as a Father, A Bishop, Your Grace, A Cardinal, Your Eminence…and Even a Pope is called as, His Highness - But only a 36 – 24 – 36 in a Bikini is called as “OH MY GOD”
Who is a Psychiatrist? A qualified person who gives you an expensive & critical analysis about yourself, which your Spouse gives you for free, daily.
Scotch is a brilliant invention….One double and you start feeling Single again.
Notice at Church: Do not leave your mobiles, purses, wallets, handbags, girl-friends UNATTENDED - Others may think it is an answer to their prayers.
Global Recession and Financial Crisis have become so critical and serious now days that…majority of the men have started loving their own wives!!!!!!
A Priest is called as a Father, A Bishop, Your Grace, A Cardinal, Your Eminence…and Even a Pope is called as, His Highness - But only a 36 – 24 – 36 in a Bikini is called as “OH MY GOD”
Put your wife in a room lock it.
Put your dog in another room lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours see who is Happy to see you,
and who will BITE you !
(Group members are advised not to try this at home
as these stunts were performed by professionals;
who are now!divorced; and living happily with their dog)
Don't laugh loud ----
The extended version says...
Put your husband in a room lock it.
Put your dog in another room lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours you will be happy to see your dog waiting for you.. but you be angry looking at your husband sleeping like he never slept before
Put your dog in another room lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours see who is Happy to see you,
and who will BITE you !
(Group members are advised not to try this at home
as these stunts were performed by professionals;
who are now!divorced; and living happily with their dog)
Don't laugh loud ----
The extended version says...
Put your husband in a room lock it.
Put your dog in another room lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours you will be happy to see your dog waiting for you.. but you be angry looking at your husband sleeping like he never slept before
An elderly couple, who had just learned how to send text messages on their mobile phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.
One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee.
She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."
The husband texted back to her:
"I'm on the toilet. Please advise."
One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee.
She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."
The husband texted back to her:
"I'm on the toilet. Please advise."
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