theonlineshitizen.wordpress.com - A Community of Turds

[NamQiong]

Blandrew Low = Andrew Loh?

Taken from the site:

http://theonlineshitizen.wordpress.com/2008/10/02/the-media-loves-my-balls/

Blandrew Low: “The media loves my balls”

Yesterday on the 1st October, I heard on the news that somebody important died. I realised that this was the perfect opportunity for me to go mingle around with the well-wishers and pretend to interview some of them. How excellent if States Times or Media Corpse can do a write up on me or catch me on film! That would be the perfect time for me to flash my balls!

I need to burnish my credentials as a ball-licking famewhore so that in the future when I run for political office, everyone will remember me! yay!

 

[NamQiong]

Fucker Har = Farquhur?

http://theonlineshitizen.wordpress.com/2008/10/02/fucker-har/

Fucker-har

TOS is introducing a weekly commentary on Singapore. We came up with the name when the resident contributor mumbled some gobbledygook and we yelled at the fellow “fucker, har?!?”. The column will mix our pretentious, self-absorbed penises and obnoxious, self-important blather to better (we hope) guide our readers through the Stalinist state of affairs in Singapore. It’s a horrible imitation on the British publication The Economist’s commentary pages. You can find the full introduction here.

 

[NamQiong]

Long Shit Sian = Leong Sze Hian??

http://theonlineshitizen.wordpress.com/2008/10/03/my-dick-is-12-inches-long/


Long Shit Sian: “My dick is 12 inches long.”

EVERYBODY LISTEN TO ME!!!

THE GOVERNMENT IS TRYING TO STEAL ALL YOUR MONEY!~!!!

YOU MUST BELIEVE ME!! YOU KNOW WHY? LOOK AT ALL MY QUALIFICATIONS!!!

3 Masters degrees in Financial Planning & Financial Services, 2 Bachelors degrees in Economics & Insurance, and 13 professional qualifications. A Wharton Fellow, he is a Certified Investment Fiduciary Auditor, alumnus of Harvard University and the inaugural United Nations University International Leadership Academy. He has served as Honorary Consul of Jamaica, Representative of the Inter-American Economic Council, Chairman of the Institute of Administrative Management, on the Board of Trustees of the Singapore Professional Centre, President of the Society of Financial Service Professionals, the UNESCO Leadership Chair Council, and founding Advisor to the Financial Planning Association of Indonesia. He has authored 3 books and has been quoted over 700 times in the media over the last 7 years.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, MY PENIS IS 12 INCHES LONG! I AM VERY TUA KEE SO YOU MUST LISTEN TO ME!!!

 

[NamQiong]

I wonder who is Meryl Hiam? Issit Gerald Giam?

http://theonlineshitizen.wordpress.com/

Meryl Hiam: “I am not a religious fundamentalist.”

I don’t get it. Why do people say I’m a religious fundamentalist? All I want to do is make sure that doctors will be put in jail for providing abortion services and gays will be put in jail for having sex, like any God-fearing good Christian should be. I’m really just a cute lovely girl! =(

Oh, and all you heathens will go to hell.

 

[NamQiong]

Blandrew Low = Drew low = Andrew Loh?

Government conspiracy discovered - in anus

Local man Drew Low today informed us that he discovered a government conspiracy to oppress the average Singaporean, after sticking his head up his ass. Drew spoke to our reporters on camera and here is the footage:

“Today hor, I was doing my usual check of my anus when I discovered government plans laid out in painstaking detail about how ministers were going to oppress the average Singaporean! Unfortunately I had a sudden diarrhoea so the plans were washed away in the lao sai.

Too bad I couldn’t salvage it otherwise I could have published the expose on my blog and become a really important internet person!!!!!!”

And now, for the weather update.

Written by Blandrew Low

September 30th, 2008 at 6:35 am

Posted in Blandrew Low

Tagged with Blandrew Low

 

[Avantas]

Hi bro,

While I admire your courage in challenging TOC, there's very little you can do now that the Shitty Times are openly supporting them.