In memory of my beloved wife Arjane. 1971-2024 (CC for English subtitle)
537K views1 month ago
4 Aug2024
We met, fell in love, and stayed together at the age of 18.
We spent 36 years together.
Having you, such a graceful, beautiful, considerate, and gentle woman by my side, is the greatest blessing heaven has bestowed upon me.
Even as we entered middle age, our love remained so sweet that even our children couldn’t bear to watch.
Whenever you saw me, you would always give me a deep hug first. And I, like a woodpecker, would always peck your cheeks ten or eight times.
We held hands all the time, from day to night, from waking up to falling asleep, never willing to be apart for even a second.
With you by my side, the simple days were the greatest happiness in life.
I had hoped to hold your hand and grow old together, to reach old age, pushing each other’s wheelchairs in a sweet old age.
Who knew heaven would play such a big joke…
That day, you felt slightly unwell, and I hurriedly took you to the hospital for a check-up.
Unexpectedly, the doctor asked you to be hospitalized immediately, diagnosing you with “acute leukemia” (blood cancer), requiring immediate chemotherapy.
After only nine days in the hospital, you were gone… I still can’t accept what kind of inexplicable and hateful disease this is!
It’s not a hereditary disease, it can’t be detected in health checks, there were no obvious symptoms beforehand, just a sudden “gene mutation,” which makes no sense at all.
A few days ago, you were still lively and playing ball, and within a few days, you were suddenly gone.
How can I accept this? Until now, I didn’t understand what the books meant by heartbroken and gut-wrenching.
After extreme sadness, there is a brief numbness, but this numbness is like an ever-expanding balloon, a slight touch, and the accumulated tears burst out like a flood again.
I love you so much. You are my first love, my true love, and my only one in this life. However, every bit of love, every bit of happiness, every bit of sweetness, now brings double the sadness and pain.
I am so sad, so painful and sad. I never imagined how I would live without you. I don’t know how to continue this life.
Suddenly, nothing seems important anymore. I forget to eat, forget to drink, forget to breathe.
Only the tears, they never stop.
During those two days with the tubes, you never wanted to close your eyes. I know, I was also unwilling. I know you had too many attachments to this world.
At the moment of extubation, your eyes suddenly opened wide, and I couldn’t close them with my hands.
I was terrified and heartbroken, feeling your fear of leaving.
I held your hand and spoke to you gently. I told you I would hold on, I would be strong.
A few days before you left, when we were both hugging and crying, I promised you, I would take good care of our two daughters, and live well on my own.
It hurts so much, so sad. But I will try to live well, please don’t worry about me.
The 36 years with you were so happy, I have no regrets in this life.
Although I hoped to spend another 36 years with you, growing old together, perhaps, like a beautiful movie, it always ends at the most wonderful moment.
Even though it feels short and leaves us wanting more, it makes it even more unforgettable. The days we spent together were happy enough.
You were a perfect wife and mother. Thank you so much for choosing me in this life, giving me such happy 36 springs, summers, autumns, and winters.
Please don’t have any regrets, don’t be unwilling, don’t hold on.
Go peacefully and rest assured. As I speak to you, even though the tears still flow, thinking of the days we spent together, happy and content, a smile finally appeared on my face for the first time.
And you, at this moment, closed your eyes on your own.
Goodbye, my love. If there is a next life, and you are willing to choose me again, I will run to you, to be with you again, and this time, I will be the one to pamper you, to be your sweet little piggy. It’s a promise.
In memory of my beloved wife, my only love in this life. – Beloved Wife, Arjane Chou (1971~2024) *****************************
* 1. The only sign of acute leukemia is unexplained bruising on the body. If you notice this, please seek medical attention immediately. This is the only chance for early detection (and a regret I live with daily for not addressing it sooner).
2. Although we are strangers, the blessings and encouragement from friends around the world have truly touched me. Your heartfelt kindness and care have genuinely moved me and started to heal my broken heart. I am deeply grateful to everyone! This world may not be perfect, and there may be regrets, but the genuine kindness from all of you has at least helped heal a broken soul. I vow to continue spreading this kindness and care back to the world. Thank you, everyone!
3. My wife had received four doses of the COVID-19 vaccine. It is said that mRNA vaccines might cause acute leukemia. Please be extra cautious.
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