SEOUL - As hopeful singles at the speed-dating event moved from table to table introducing themselves, Mr Park Chang Won, a 32-year-old firefighter, grew more and more morose. By the time he reached the last table, Mr Park, whose dark eyebrows give him a brooding look, was uttering only his name and age. Then he sank into silence. "It felt awkward from the outset," he said later, as he explained that a lifetime spent around men - at boys' schools, the military and now as a fireman - had made meeting women harder.
In South Korea, which is fretting about plummeting birth rates, solving the difficulties of the lovelorn has become something of a national priority. In perhaps the surest sign of that anxiety, the event he attended was one of dozens of dating parties nationwide sponsored by the government. In a country where arranged courtships are fading into the past, the Ministry of Health and Welfare began promoting the idea of dating parties in 2010. Since then, sponsorship of such parties has shifted mainly to ministry affiliates and local governments, which can win financial rewards for activities that promote marriage and childbirth.
The municipal government that threw the party Mr Park attended has been named a role model by Seoul. Government officials are not the only ones trying to replace the traditional matchmakers that many young people consider increasingly old-fashioned. Corporations, fearing critical shortages of workers in an ageing society, have begun ending informal bans against office romances, with some now paying for dating services for their workers. College students have leapt online to set up mass dating events, including a much-publicised flashmob blind date last winter in downtown Seoul.
And entrepreneurs have opened bars where waiters serve as informal go-betweens. There are online dating services as well, but many young Koreans remain uncomfortable searching for a partner on their own. Most prefer to rely on the companies to take their information and make the match for them. So far, though, the results of these efforts have been mixed. "I usually date girls I get set up with by my friends, but tonight I came to this party to find someone naturally," said Mr Yang Sung Mo, 29, who tucked a dapper purple handkerchief into his blazer pocket to attend a bar event for singles. "Still, I doubt it's going to work unless I am introduced." Until the 1980s, young people relied on matchmakers called "ttus" and family connections to find spouses, sociologists said. But in recent years, urban youth exposed to the West started complaining that even the less formal blind dates set up by friends were stressful. "I want to meet someone I feel for," said Ms Lee Su Seong, 29, who waited nervously with a group of friends at the Blue Ketchup Bar in Seoul, where waiters hand out "Cupid cards" from admirers as an icebreaker.
The catch with such unorthodox approaches, said sociology professor Hahm In Hee at Ewha Womans University, is that society has not been prepared for such a radical change. "Approaching or socialising with someone you don't know at all feels very unfamiliar to Koreans," she said. "It is very awkward to mingle with someone without knowing who the other person's parents are, where they are from, etc." Of all the new approaches being tried, the flash mob was the most famous failure. About 3,000 young people showed up at the sprawling Yoido Plaza, but the crowd suffered a case of mass jitters. (It did not help that the police were sent to chaperon the event because parents were afraid of sexual assaults.) So far, several young people said, the government matchmaking parties have proved the best mix of old and new. Local officials perform thorough background checks, matchmaker-style, but once everyone is vetted, they are encouraged to mingle freely.
Still, that is little comfort for the hapless Mr Park from the speed-dating party. In the end, he abandoned all caution when the organisers asked if anyone would publicly say who they most wanted to meet. He pointed to a woman with an infectious grin whom he respected for not trying to hide her braces, then knelt to present her with a bouquet provided by the party planners. She covered her face with her hands and refused to give him her phone number. Later, she and her friends left with a group of young men. Mr Park was not invited. "I guess I will continue the introduction thing through friends," he said later. "But I think praying is the only answer."
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