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http://www.asiaone.com/News/The+New+Paper/Story/A1Story20100830-234627.html
Mon, Aug 30, 2010
The New Paper
S'pore wife finds hubby married to M'sian woman on Facebook
BY ZUBAIDAH NAZEER
After six years of marriage, tell-tale signs of her husband going astray began to emerge. One night, after her husband forgot to log off his Facebook account, the wife decided to snoop. What she saw not only confirmed her worst fears but also shocked her.
There, in a special album, were wedding photos of her husband and another woman taken in Malaysia.
That was about two years ago.
The husband, a Singaporean man, and the wife, a Singapore permanent resident from Hong Kong, have since divorced.
He remains in Singapore while she has left the country with their son, who was in Primary 1 when she found out about her husband's second marriage.
Their case, as told to The New Paper by a private investigator here, is similar to one in the US.
In that case, a woman discovered her husband's second wedding when she searched Facebook for the name of the woman she suspected her husband of having an affair with.
Private investigator (PI) James Loh, 38, told The New Paper that it was the popular social networking website that confirmed the fears of the Hong Kong woman.
Mr Loh, who runs SG Investigators, said the woman had suspected her husband of cheating due to his late nights and late household payments.
Said the PI of eight years: "She also saw meal receipts for two at expensive restaurants."
Once she discovered the photos on Facebook, she made printouts and confronted him.
The man admitted marrying his lover in Malaysia. That marriage was not registered here.
Ten private investigators and divorce lawyers here say there has been an increase in the number of clients who have used new technological tools to snoop on their partner's infidelities.
The tools range from saved MSN real-time chat messages to Facebook, the most common mode of tech trailing. Three years ago, digital spying was almost unheard of as Facebook's use was not so widespread here.
Now, half of the PI's clients come to them citing these new channels. It is a global trend.
Last month, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers said that 81 per cent of its members have used or faced evidence plucked online over the last five years.
These sources include Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and other social networking sites such as YouTube and LinkedIn.
http://news.asiaone.com/News/The+New+Paper/Story/A1Story20100830-234627/2.html
Sophisticated searching
Said lawyer Tan Siew Kim, a director of Wong Tan & Molly Lim: "Clients are getting more sophisticated about hunting for information. Without prompting, they have produced material from Facebook, chat messages saved on MSN and others."
The lawyer, who has 16 years of handling divorce cases, says that half of her clients produce such evidence, which she said had become an "almost standard" method of checking on cheating spouses.
A property agent, 42, told The New Paper that she had lied to her husband that she was on a company retreat.
But when photos of her with her lover in Bali appeared on Facebook, her husband printed them out and confronted her.
Now, after 22 years of marriage, they are in the midst of a divorce.
Relations with her husband had been strained since last year when she confronted him over his alleged affair with his employee. She said he admitted it.
Her slip-up happened when she forgot to turn on the correct privacy settings after she uploaded her Bali photos. This gave her husband, who is "friends" with her on Facebook, access to her album's 30 photos or so.
Some showed her and her boyfriend in swimwear. One showed him with his hand on her thigh.
The mother of two teenagers does not regret the incident, saying it has given her a "way out" of the unhappy marriage.
She said: "Facebook is not safe. The old way of printing out photos and keeping them in an album is better."
One man resorted to adding his wife's lover as a "friend" on Facebook in order to verify that he and his wife were having a relationship.
Private eye S M Jegan, 56, said that his client scanned the man's account for pictures of his wife with him and found some showing them caressing.
Said Mr Jegan: "He found out the background of the man, where he worked, everything."
When confronted, his wife had no choice but to admit the affair, he said.
http://news.asiaone.com/News/The+New+Paper/Story/A1Story20100830-234627/3.html
Indiscreet
Mr Jegan, who runs Kokusai Security, said: "It's amazing how lax some people are about protecting their privacy."
Others have had friends aiding them to nab their errant spouses.
Divorce lawyer Wong Kai Yun, a partner of law firm Chia Wong, recalled a case where a cheating man was uncovered by his wife's friends - also via Facebook.
Ms Wong said that her client's friend had seen her husband turning up at social events with another woman. They acted as a couple.
The third party's name was tagged on one of the Facebook photos belonging to her friend, revealing other mutual friends as well as more photos of her with the man.
The woman got her friends to join the Other Woman's social circle and when they were accepted, her friends were able to see posts, photos and comments that confirmed their fears, said Ms Wong.
Mr Lionel De Souza, 67, who has been in the PI business since 1999, said that these new methods are a far cry from the old days of manual surveillance.
He noted: "These new methods make it easier as they are like electronic breadcrumbs you leave behind."
Ms Tan is astounded at the flippant attitudes or carelessness of those who cheat.
She said: "Some of them seem to be negligent over what can be seen (when they) put up stories or posts."
However, Facebook photos are just a starting point into investigations of errant spouses, said PIs and divorce lawyers.
Court evidence may dictate more than photos.
Lawyer Koh Tien Hua of Harry Elias Partnership: "For adultery as a reason for divorce to be used, you need to prove that sexual intercourse has happened."
But explicit photos are unlikely to be uploaded for public viewing, he said.
Ms Wong agreed, saying: "Some clients are keen to show photos, but I ask them, 'So what?'"
Even if some photos are presented in court on grounds of unreasonable behaviour, often the alleged cheating partner will say they have every right to be out on social functions, work-related or not.
http://news.asiaone.com/News/The+New+Paper/Story/A1Story20100830-234627/4.html
Weak evidence
"They can say that they were forced to pose with some females, or models, what have you." What's more useful are messages directly linking the third party to the philanderer, like SMSes or e-mails, which may indicate familiarity and endearment.
That said, sometimes you can get lucky on Facebook, and find "posts or remarks obviously linking the two in a special relationship".
And don't forget moving images.
Explained Mr De Souza: "I make it a practice to use videos as well. While I do use photos, they don't show action. Unlike photos, videos cannot be easily tampered with."
[email protected]
This article was first published in The New Paper.
Mon, Aug 30, 2010
The New Paper
S'pore wife finds hubby married to M'sian woman on Facebook
BY ZUBAIDAH NAZEER
After six years of marriage, tell-tale signs of her husband going astray began to emerge. One night, after her husband forgot to log off his Facebook account, the wife decided to snoop. What she saw not only confirmed her worst fears but also shocked her.
There, in a special album, were wedding photos of her husband and another woman taken in Malaysia.
That was about two years ago.
The husband, a Singaporean man, and the wife, a Singapore permanent resident from Hong Kong, have since divorced.
He remains in Singapore while she has left the country with their son, who was in Primary 1 when she found out about her husband's second marriage.
Their case, as told to The New Paper by a private investigator here, is similar to one in the US.
In that case, a woman discovered her husband's second wedding when she searched Facebook for the name of the woman she suspected her husband of having an affair with.
Private investigator (PI) James Loh, 38, told The New Paper that it was the popular social networking website that confirmed the fears of the Hong Kong woman.
Mr Loh, who runs SG Investigators, said the woman had suspected her husband of cheating due to his late nights and late household payments.
Said the PI of eight years: "She also saw meal receipts for two at expensive restaurants."
Once she discovered the photos on Facebook, she made printouts and confronted him.
The man admitted marrying his lover in Malaysia. That marriage was not registered here.
Ten private investigators and divorce lawyers here say there has been an increase in the number of clients who have used new technological tools to snoop on their partner's infidelities.
The tools range from saved MSN real-time chat messages to Facebook, the most common mode of tech trailing. Three years ago, digital spying was almost unheard of as Facebook's use was not so widespread here.
Now, half of the PI's clients come to them citing these new channels. It is a global trend.
Last month, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers said that 81 per cent of its members have used or faced evidence plucked online over the last five years.
These sources include Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and other social networking sites such as YouTube and LinkedIn.
http://news.asiaone.com/News/The+New+Paper/Story/A1Story20100830-234627/2.html
Sophisticated searching
Said lawyer Tan Siew Kim, a director of Wong Tan & Molly Lim: "Clients are getting more sophisticated about hunting for information. Without prompting, they have produced material from Facebook, chat messages saved on MSN and others."
The lawyer, who has 16 years of handling divorce cases, says that half of her clients produce such evidence, which she said had become an "almost standard" method of checking on cheating spouses.
A property agent, 42, told The New Paper that she had lied to her husband that she was on a company retreat.
But when photos of her with her lover in Bali appeared on Facebook, her husband printed them out and confronted her.
Now, after 22 years of marriage, they are in the midst of a divorce.
Relations with her husband had been strained since last year when she confronted him over his alleged affair with his employee. She said he admitted it.
Her slip-up happened when she forgot to turn on the correct privacy settings after she uploaded her Bali photos. This gave her husband, who is "friends" with her on Facebook, access to her album's 30 photos or so.
Some showed her and her boyfriend in swimwear. One showed him with his hand on her thigh.
The mother of two teenagers does not regret the incident, saying it has given her a "way out" of the unhappy marriage.
She said: "Facebook is not safe. The old way of printing out photos and keeping them in an album is better."
One man resorted to adding his wife's lover as a "friend" on Facebook in order to verify that he and his wife were having a relationship.
Private eye S M Jegan, 56, said that his client scanned the man's account for pictures of his wife with him and found some showing them caressing.
Said Mr Jegan: "He found out the background of the man, where he worked, everything."
When confronted, his wife had no choice but to admit the affair, he said.
http://news.asiaone.com/News/The+New+Paper/Story/A1Story20100830-234627/3.html
Indiscreet
Mr Jegan, who runs Kokusai Security, said: "It's amazing how lax some people are about protecting their privacy."
Others have had friends aiding them to nab their errant spouses.
Divorce lawyer Wong Kai Yun, a partner of law firm Chia Wong, recalled a case where a cheating man was uncovered by his wife's friends - also via Facebook.
Ms Wong said that her client's friend had seen her husband turning up at social events with another woman. They acted as a couple.
The third party's name was tagged on one of the Facebook photos belonging to her friend, revealing other mutual friends as well as more photos of her with the man.
The woman got her friends to join the Other Woman's social circle and when they were accepted, her friends were able to see posts, photos and comments that confirmed their fears, said Ms Wong.
Mr Lionel De Souza, 67, who has been in the PI business since 1999, said that these new methods are a far cry from the old days of manual surveillance.
He noted: "These new methods make it easier as they are like electronic breadcrumbs you leave behind."
Ms Tan is astounded at the flippant attitudes or carelessness of those who cheat.
She said: "Some of them seem to be negligent over what can be seen (when they) put up stories or posts."
However, Facebook photos are just a starting point into investigations of errant spouses, said PIs and divorce lawyers.
Court evidence may dictate more than photos.
Lawyer Koh Tien Hua of Harry Elias Partnership: "For adultery as a reason for divorce to be used, you need to prove that sexual intercourse has happened."
But explicit photos are unlikely to be uploaded for public viewing, he said.
Ms Wong agreed, saying: "Some clients are keen to show photos, but I ask them, 'So what?'"
Even if some photos are presented in court on grounds of unreasonable behaviour, often the alleged cheating partner will say they have every right to be out on social functions, work-related or not.
http://news.asiaone.com/News/The+New+Paper/Story/A1Story20100830-234627/4.html
Weak evidence
"They can say that they were forced to pose with some females, or models, what have you." What's more useful are messages directly linking the third party to the philanderer, like SMSes or e-mails, which may indicate familiarity and endearment.
That said, sometimes you can get lucky on Facebook, and find "posts or remarks obviously linking the two in a special relationship".
And don't forget moving images.
Explained Mr De Souza: "I make it a practice to use videos as well. While I do use photos, they don't show action. Unlike photos, videos cannot be easily tampered with."
[email protected]
This article was first published in The New Paper.
