[Singapore] - Accounts of life-ruining bullying in Singapore schools from Reddit Sg

[UltimaOnline]

 

[UltimaOnline]

From Tsuikyit_The_VIP :

I’d like to talk about bullying too. Back in 2017 when I was 16 and was a student on Secondary 3 Express, I was bullied but my school did absolutely nothing. I wrote this on a post a few days ago regarding the RVHS murder and I’ll just copy and paste it here because I want to address it. Because even here in ITE, the authorities are giving discipline a double standard. The students who bully are shoved aside and they’d rather throw accusations at innocent students and save their efforts for that when it’s not even justified, as I’ll elaborate later on.

—————

When I was in secondary school and was still in express before I dropped to NA, a classmate bullied me verbally due to my lower SES and even went as far as constantly beating me up. My school refused to take any form of action, citing his autism as why I should be giving him a chance. So from my time in secondary 1 until secondary 3, I was constantly in and out of clinics due to my injuries. I would’ve fought back in self defence but I’m quoting when my school stated if I did so, I would face even more severe consequences for getting physical and only told me to “run away if attacked”. While I have my phone on me at all times, I was told that using it would result in consequences for me, so I had to stealthily take photos of my injuries and send them to my mother.

As a result, I couldn’t cope with my studies in Express due to the number of MCs I took from injuries and dropped to NA and repeated Secondary 3. My troubles were only gone after said student planned to move to a private school, and my school had no influence on that. Bullying won’t go away if schools just don’t take it seriously. My future has been in a mess thanks to this particular student and my mental health hasn’t been the same since.

I could’ve stayed in my Express class and moved on to JC or Polytechnic in 2019, and said student should’ve been expelled the second time he abused me physically. But no, he was given chance after chance, my OCD only worsened and I’m taking the long route in ITE, when me not having to repeat Sec 3 and drop to NA would’ve saved me a year and even more, going straight to JC/Poly instead of being an ITE student.

My resentment still remains strong because I did nothing wrong, I was just a victim of a case of bullying. I wasted my years in Express, and now I feel like I’m wasting my years in ITE too. By the time I’m ready for Polytechnic, I’ll be 22 and it feels heart wrenching knowing I could’ve been there at the age of 18, but my school’s lack of action when it came to bullying led to this.

It’s just like a road in a mountainous region where they put up a sign warning you about potential rocks falling down and leave at that. If it’s a continual issue, stopping the rocks from falling would be a better call than just placing a sign warning drivers of the hazard. Putting a sign up is the cheapest, fastest and laziest solution but the danger is still there.

With schools it’s the same concept, bullying should have a very low tolerance level and instead of telling the victim a pointless solution or sweeping it under the rug, address it and address it in a proper fashion. Students shouldn’t have to fear someone picking on them in a facility destined to educate them and sculpt them into the adults they’ll be in the coming years.

—————

I will not name my secondary school for privacy reasons but the fact that they absolutely refused to do anything to the bully because he had autism is BS. That’s reaching the point of using it as an excuse to justify him harassing me and completely messing up my study plans. I’m 20 and in ITE and I feel like a fucking loser, fortunately a very kind on this sub had a chat with me and told me to strive on, which is what I’m working on right now.

But I can’t help but wonder about my previous school. Why shelter bullies and leave the victims to find means to survive on their own? I don’t care if someone is normal or not.
If someone has a mental disorder, they should still be punished but to a lesser extent instead of just letting them off the hook. If someone with autism commits a murder, letting him go without consequences would be BS. This one bully completely wasted my time because I’m more than capable of going into polytechnic but my constant medical leaves kept me from even coping in my studies and got overwhelmed, obviously from 6 months of this.

And now in ITE, it’s a very similar story. I like Disney Princesses and Frozen and I kept it to myself until some classmates snuck up behind me and looked at my phone and they started broadcasting this to the entire class as if it makes them feel great.
One of them who did that told me to ‘kill myself’ and that the class would be a much better place without me and while I talked to the section head who assured me that action would be taken, nothing was done.
I was chatting with another classmate about my first experience with a manual car where I said that I let go of the clutch too fast and the car took off but my instructor and I managed to brake before I crashed. Another student from the same group of students told me that I should’ve crashed and died and I would’ve taken it as a joke but his previous hostility to me makes me doubt that.
I filed a complaint and again, I received a reply stating action would be taken but nothing was done. I wouldn’t be shocked if all my complaints go straight into the trash folder so no one actually reads what I wrote.

I’m already finding it hard to cope with my OCD that only increased in severity post 2017 with the bullying to the point where I was exempted from serving NS.
My OCD in itself has made my daily life difficult where I take 2 showers a day, frequently use water, soap and alcohol and stock ip on cleaning supplies.
Having to declare it got me a ban from driving from the traffic police, but that’s another long story.

In another comment, I stated that the same section head who didn’t do anything actually detained me for 3 hours which caused me to be late for a driving lesson I had booked that day because I “stole” a classmate’s wallet. Me and a few close classmates leave our wallets in our desks when we’re working out of habit because we tend to leave the lab and buy food back every hour or so and one day, I accidentally took my classmate, Ryan’s wallet who sat to my right because his wallet was next to mine and our wallets are very, very similar in colour, shape, material and design.

When I came back within 20 minutes to give it back, the section head was waiting for me which I explained my situation by saying “I fucked up. That’s all I have to say. I made an honest mistake and I have no intentions” and I broke down after 20 minutes of keeping it together. I was prodded for reasons on why I “stole” the wallet and even as I had tears coming from my eyes, I frustratedly said “I have last year’s flagship iPhone, a PlayStation and even enough money to cover my driving lessons. Why would I steal Ryan’s wallet when it doesn’t have anything of value inside and risk our friendship in such a stupid way”, to which I was slated to receive 2 weeks of CWO as punishment, but Ryan told him it was an accident.
Only then did they claim to give me a chance and by the time I left, it was very late and even after my shower and change of clothes, I was late for my driving lesson.

To think they were so ready to give me 2 weeks worth of CWO as punishment while simultaneously sitting on my report against those who bully me for what I like, unprovoked is absolutely sickening especially when ITE prices themselves on being a safe place for students to learn.
They don’t give a fuck about smokers (though I’ll admit, some of the students who smoke in the toilet are pretty chill and I joke with them sometimes) and they don’t give a fuck about bullying, albeit verbal.
If that’s what their goals are, I’m sorry but they’re seriously lagging behind.

Even then, I’ll bring up my previous school again. The Teachers, the authoritative figures and even the MOE is doing the bare minimum to kerb bullying which is why it’s an issue in schools.
If the bullies are doing so because of past trauma, help them. If they’re doing it because they want to be an asshole, discipline them instead of telling the victim how to avoid that situation when they are not the root cause.

If investigations show that the killer in the RVHS murder was indeed a victim of bullying, I wouldn’t be surprised.
Bullied students either end up bullying others and therefore passing it on, or end up like me with trauma and seeing our pathway in learning as a nightmare over days of making friends and enjoying learning about the subjects in the syllabus.
I can tell you that a good portion of students who dread going to school are likely victims of bullying.
Because when I dreaded going to school back in Sec 3 Express, it wasn’t me being weak in chemistry, but me just not wanting to get attacked again.

The MOE needs to put bullying in the spotlight and pressure schools and IHLs to take it seriously and punish those who do it. If they legitimately need help, give it to them. But if they are just being assholes for the sake of it, discipline and counsel them.
The lack of any sort of action towards bullying is why it’s still going on. I’m sure there are students who are going down the same road as 16 year old me in Secondary 3 Express.
I’m now 20 and finishing my NITEC and I’ve just about hit my breaking point. Because if they have the resources to accuse me despite my claims until my classmate whose wallet I “stole” spoke up, they have the resources to correct bullies who tell me that I should die or even try to end my life.

What I went through was traumatic. Bullying needs to be taken seriously.

Anyone can say they have a low tolerance for bullying, but few can show that they have a low tolerance for bullying.

 

[Balls2U]

Actually, I don't understand why should anyone be intimidated by a bully. When I was in sec 2, I too was bullied by one mother fucker. Always hide my things, stepped on my shoes and messed up my hair. He also liked to threaten me with physical harm. One fine day, he and two asshole friends even dragged me to the a HDB void deck to fight. He didn't know I was trained in TKD and some Chinese Kungfu. I took him down in 5 secs with a bleeding lip. From that day onwards, he dared not approach me anymore. Years later, we met each other at a pub. He bought me a jug of beer and we made up and became friends.

 

[batman1]

Bullying existed all the time in your life.

 

[tanwahtiu]

From Tsuikyit_The_VIP :

I’d like to talk about bullying too. Back in 2017 when I was 16 and was a student on Secondary 3 Express, I was bullied but my school did absolutely nothing. I wrote this on a post a few days ago regarding the RVHS murder and I’ll just copy and paste it here because I want to address it. Because even here in ITE, the authorities are giving discipline a double standard. The students who bully are shoved aside and they’d rather throw accusations at innocent students and save their efforts for that when it’s not even justified, as I’ll elaborate later on.

—————

When I was in secondary school and was still in express before I dropped to NA, a classmate bullied me verbally due to my lower SES and even went as far as constantly beating me up. My school refused to take any form of action, citing his autism as why I should be giving him a chance. So from my time in secondary 1 until secondary 3, I was constantly in and out of clinics due to my injuries. I would’ve fought back in self defence but I’m quoting when my school stated if I did so, I would face even more severe consequences for getting physical and only told me to “run away if attacked”. While I have my phone on me at all times, I was told that using it would result in consequences for me, so I had to stealthily take photos of my injuries and send them to my mother.

As a result, I couldn’t cope with my studies in Express due to the number of MCs I took from injuries and dropped to NA and repeated Secondary 3. My troubles were only gone after said student planned to move to a private school, and my school had no influence on that. Bullying won’t go away if schools just don’t take it seriously. My future has been in a mess thanks to this particular student and my mental health hasn’t been the same since.

I could’ve stayed in my Express class and moved on to JC or Polytechnic in 2019, and said student should’ve been expelled the second time he abused me physically. But no, he was given chance after chance, my OCD only worsened and I’m taking the long route in ITE, when me not having to repeat Sec 3 and drop to NA would’ve saved me a year and even more, going straight to JC/Poly instead of being an ITE student.

My resentment still remains strong because I did nothing wrong, I was just a victim of a case of bullying. I wasted my years in Express, and now I feel like I’m wasting my years in ITE too. By the time I’m ready for Polytechnic, I’ll be 22 and it feels heart wrenching knowing I could’ve been there at the age of 18, but my school’s lack of action when it came to bullying led to this.

It’s just like a road in a mountainous region where they put up a sign warning you about potential rocks falling down and leave at that. If it’s a continual issue, stopping the rocks from falling would be a better call than just placing a sign warning drivers of the hazard. Putting a sign up is the cheapest, fastest and laziest solution but the danger is still there.

With schools it’s the same concept, bullying should have a very low tolerance level and instead of telling the victim a pointless solution or sweeping it under the rug, address it and address it in a proper fashion. Students shouldn’t have to fear someone picking on them in a facility destined to educate them and sculpt them into the adults they’ll be in the coming years.

—————

I will not name my secondary school for privacy reasons but the fact that they absolutely refused to do anything to the bully because he had autism is BS. That’s reaching the point of using it as an excuse to justify him harassing me and completely messing up my study plans. I’m 20 and in ITE and I feel like a fucking loser, fortunately a very kind on this sub had a chat with me and told me to strive on, which is what I’m working on right now.

But I can’t help but wonder about my previous school. Why shelter bullies and leave the victims to find means to survive on their own? I don’t care if someone is normal or not.
If someone has a mental disorder, they should still be punished but to a lesser extent instead of just letting them off the hook. If someone with autism commits a murder, letting him go without consequences would be BS. This one bully completely wasted my time because I’m more than capable of going into polytechnic but my constant medical leaves kept me from even coping in my studies and got overwhelmed, obviously from 6 months of this.

And now in ITE, it’s a very similar story. I like Disney Princesses and Frozen and I kept it to myself until some classmates snuck up behind me and looked at my phone and they started broadcasting this to the entire class as if it makes them feel great.
One of them who did that told me to ‘kill myself’ and that the class would be a much better place without me and while I talked to the section head who assured me that action would be taken, nothing was done.
I was chatting with another classmate about my first experience with a manual car where I said that I let go of the clutch too fast and the car took off but my instructor and I managed to brake before I crashed. Another student from the same group of students told me that I should’ve crashed and died and I would’ve taken it as a joke but his previous hostility to me makes me doubt that.
I filed a complaint and again, I received a reply stating action would be taken but nothing was done. I wouldn’t be shocked if all my complaints go straight into the trash folder so no one actually reads what I wrote.

I’m already finding it hard to cope with my OCD that only increased in severity post 2017 with the bullying to the point where I was exempted from serving NS.
My OCD in itself has made my daily life difficult where I take 2 showers a day, frequently use water, soap and alcohol and stock ip on cleaning supplies.
Having to declare it got me a ban from driving from the traffic police, but that’s another long story.

In another comment, I stated that the same section head who didn’t do anything actually detained me for 3 hours which caused me to be late for a driving lesson I had booked that day because I “stole” a classmate’s wallet. Me and a few close classmates leave our wallets in our desks when we’re working out of habit because we tend to leave the lab and buy food back every hour or so and one day, I accidentally took my classmate, Ryan’s wallet who sat to my right because his wallet was next to mine and our wallets are very, very similar in colour, shape, material and design.

When I came back within 20 minutes to give it back, the section head was waiting for me which I explained my situation by saying “I fucked up. That’s all I have to say. I made an honest mistake and I have no intentions” and I broke down after 20 minutes of keeping it together. I was prodded for reasons on why I “stole” the wallet and even as I had tears coming from my eyes, I frustratedly said “I have last year’s flagship iPhone, a PlayStation and even enough money to cover my driving lessons. Why would I steal Ryan’s wallet when it doesn’t have anything of value inside and risk our friendship in such a stupid way”, to which I was slated to receive 2 weeks of CWO as punishment, but Ryan told him it was an accident.
Only then did they claim to give me a chance and by the time I left, it was very late and even after my shower and change of clothes, I was late for my driving lesson.

To think they were so ready to give me 2 weeks worth of CWO as punishment while simultaneously sitting on my report against those who bully me for what I like, unprovoked is absolutely sickening especially when ITE prices themselves on being a safe place for students to learn.
They don’t give a fuck about smokers (though I’ll admit, some of the students who smoke in the toilet are pretty chill and I joke with them sometimes) and they don’t give a fuck about bullying, albeit verbal.
If that’s what their goals are, I’m sorry but they’re seriously lagging behind.

Even then, I’ll bring up my previous school again. The Teachers, the authoritative figures and even the MOE is doing the bare minimum to kerb bullying which is why it’s an issue in schools.
If the bullies are doing so because of past trauma, help them. If they’re doing it because they want to be an asshole, discipline them instead of telling the victim how to avoid that situation when they are not the root cause.

If investigations show that the killer in the RVHS murder was indeed a victim of bullying, I wouldn’t be surprised.
Bullied students either end up bullying others and therefore passing it on, or end up like me with trauma and seeing our pathway in learning as a nightmare over days of making friends and enjoying learning about the subjects in the syllabus.
I can tell you that a good portion of students who dread going to school are likely victims of bullying.
Because when I dreaded going to school back in Sec 3 Express, it wasn’t me being weak in chemistry, but me just not wanting to get attacked again.

The MOE needs to put bullying in the spotlight and pressure schools and IHLs to take it seriously and punish those who do it. If they legitimately need help, give it to them. But if they are just being assholes for the sake of it, discipline and counsel them.
The lack of any sort of action towards bullying is why it’s still going on. I’m sure there are students who are going down the same road as 16 year old me in Secondary 3 Express.
I’m now 20 and finishing my NITEC and I’ve just about hit my breaking point. Because if they have the resources to accuse me despite my claims until my classmate whose wallet I “stole” spoke up, they have the resources to correct bullies who tell me that I should die or even try to end my life.

What I went through was traumatic. Bullying needs to be taken seriously.

Anyone can say they have a low tolerance for bullying, but few can show that they have a low tolerance for bullying.

Feel sorry for you if u are sissy.

I fought back at the bully. Whack 2 bastards in front of the classroom. Throw them to the blackboard and smashed their faces. No time to lose.

Next day whack them again in the toilet till nose bleed. Whenever they see me again they escape.

From hero to Superstar...

 

[laksaboy]

MOE mollycoddling kids ironically makes bullying worse.

They should teach kids how to channel aggression.

For example, do this in PE lessons.

 

[Cottonmouth]

Congratulations to Chan Chun Sing, all these fruitcbombs are now ripe for him to handle.

 

[sweetiepie]

KNN imuho school bullying are parts and parcels of growing up KNN my uncle used to be a bullee but not the physical type but the psychological type KNN but adult working still get bullied is non acceptable eg @ginfreely KNN