Redditer: Will you compromise and settle, or stay single?

[Tragedeigh]

​

Will you compromise and settle, or stay single?​

Question Pod

I’ve recently come across many discussions about relationships suggesting that one should never “settle”, and that if someone doesn’t meet your criteria, you’re better off remaining single until the right person comes along.

Yet I can’t help but wonder: if we hold out indefinitely, do we risk becoming one of those people who grow old alone, not because love never appeared, but because we refused to compromise? How, then, does one discern what is a healthy compromise and what is a fundamental incompatibility?

I ask because I’m currently in a stable relationship of 6 months. He does not shout at me or hurt me. He works in the finance field and earns above the median income, and this is the highest out of all the guys I have met. He texts consistently, treats me to meals every 2 months, and we have spoken seriously about marriage. After nine years of dating, this is the most stable relationship I’ve had.

And yet, there are aspects that give me pause.

He is not particularly attractive to me, and in 6 months, he has never planned a thoughtful date. The most expensive gift he has given me was a secondhand bracelet from Carousell, for Valentine’s Day. I’ve told him I love flowers; he insists they are a waste of money because they wilt. The one time he bought me flowers, he chose lilies, the only variety I have repeatedly said I dislike, explaining that roses were too expensive during Valentine’s season.

There have been many similar moments. He buys drinks and food I’ve mentioned I don’t enjoy. For example I told him sour food makes me nausea, but he bought me sour food on multiple occasions, as though the details I share simply don’t register. It leaves me wondering whether he truly pays attention.

There is also a significant mismatch in intimacy. I have a high libido; his is very low. When we are intimate, he can only do it once, and he finishes under a minute. The next time he'd want intimacy is after a month or more. As such, our hotel stays feel short lived, and he usually suggests we head home after so that he can conduct his trades. This disparity weighs on me more than I expected.

Despite these concerns, the stability he offers, especially compared to my past experiences, makes me question whether I should accept these shortcomings as reasonable compromises. I don’t feel the “spark” people describe as true love, but I fear that if I walk away, I may find myself enduring years more of disappointing relationships.

I also recently watched a recap of our founding father Lee Kuan Yew, where he suggested that singaporeans should settle, and not try to seek out perfect K-Drama level relationships because they do not exist.

So I find myself at a crossroads: is this what mature love looks like - steady, imperfect, and safe? Or am I quieting important needs out of fear of starting over?

If you were in my position, what would you do?

 

[Dongyi]

There is also a significant mismatch in intimacy. I have a high libido; his is very low. When we are intimate, he can only do it once, and he finishes under a minute. The next time he'd want intimacy is after a month or more. As such, our hotel stays feel short lived, and he usually suggests we head home after so that he can conduct his trades. This disparity weighs on me more than I expected.

S.L.U.T.

 

[Tragedeigh]

S.L.U.T.

Should be Slard.

 

[glockman]

"He works in the finance field and earns above the median income, and this is the highest out of all the guys I have met."

She'll settle, trust me.

 

[Tragedeigh]

"He works in the finance field and earns above the median income, and this is the highest out of all the guys I have met."

She'll settle, trust me.

I also say. Sinkie women mostly 见钱眼开 type.

 

[Dongyi]

You can have a passionate romance, even one tinged with reckless ecstasy, but love can never be separated from good morals. A slut should not expect to find true love.

 

[Dongyi]

I also say. Sinkie women mostly 见钱眼开 type.

I have to correct your superior CL2 with my 'N' level Chinese. It's 见钱脚开

 

[batman1]

I also say. Sinkie women mostly 见钱眼开 type.

The moment he got retrenched,she will waste no time to breakup or divorce him.

 

[WangChuk]

​

Will you compromise and settle, or stay single?​

Question Pod

I’ve recently come across many discussions about relationships suggesting that one should never “settle”, and that if someone doesn’t meet your criteria, you’re better off remaining single until the right person comes along.

Yet I can’t help but wonder: if we hold out indefinitely, do we risk becoming one of those people who grow old alone, not because love never appeared, but because we refused to compromise? How, then, does one discern what is a healthy compromise and what is a fundamental incompatibility?

I ask because I’m currently in a stable relationship of 6 months. He does not shout at me or hurt me. He works in the finance field and earns above the median income, and this is the highest out of all the guys I have met. He texts consistently, treats me to meals every 2 months, and we have spoken seriously about marriage. After nine years of dating, this is the most stable relationship I’ve had.

And yet, there are aspects that give me pause.

He is not particularly attractive to me, and in 6 months, he has never planned a thoughtful date. The most expensive gift he has given me was a secondhand bracelet from Carousell, for Valentine’s Day. I’ve told him I love flowers; he insists they are a waste of money because they wilt. The one time he bought me flowers, he chose lilies, the only variety I have repeatedly said I dislike, explaining that roses were too expensive during Valentine’s season.

There have been many similar moments. He buys drinks and food I’ve mentioned I don’t enjoy. For example I told him sour food makes me nausea, but he bought me sour food on multiple occasions, as though the details I share simply don’t register. It leaves me wondering whether he truly pays attention.

There is also a significant mismatch in intimacy. I have a high libido; his is very low. When we are intimate, he can only do it once, and he finishes under a minute. The next time he'd want intimacy is after a month or more. As such, our hotel stays feel short lived, and he usually suggests we head home after so that he can conduct his trades. This disparity weighs on me more than I expected.

Despite these concerns, the stability he offers, especially compared to my past experiences, makes me question whether I should accept these shortcomings as reasonable compromises. I don’t feel the “spark” people describe as true love, but I fear that if I walk away, I may find myself enduring years more of disappointing relationships.

I also recently watched a recap of our founding father Lee Kuan Yew, where he suggested that singaporeans should settle, and not try to seek out perfect K-Drama level relationships because they do not exist.

So I find myself at a crossroads: is this what mature love looks like - steady, imperfect, and safe? Or am I quieting important needs out of fear of starting over?

If you were in my position, what would you do?

she need some AH Bengs to pump and dump her .... pls queue to ups her.

 

[Dongyi]

You twit! Staying single is not a compromise -- it is enlightenment. Did Siddhartha Gautama abandon his wife and child to settle for less? No. He sought the single life as a path to awakening. Did Jesus Christ choose singleness as a compromise? Hardly. He remained single his entire life, a testament to extraordinary self-discipline. Even St. Paul called his singleness a thorn in the flesh, a trial sent to test him, yet he bore it with unwavering faith. Singleness is never a compromise -- it is a calling, a discipline, a triumph of the spirit. ​

 

[tobelightlight]

I also recently watched a recap of our founding father Lee Kuan Yew, where he suggested that singaporeans should settle, and not try to seek out perfect K-Drama level relationships because they do not exist.

Any pussies take a love advice from such an avenue, pls stay away from her and stay single. Where got people make life decision on words made by a politician. This post PAPib write one is it, then post it here.

 

[Truthspeak]

Any pussies take a love advice from such an avenue, pls stay away from her and stay single. Where got people make life decision on words made by a politician. This post PAPib write one is it, then post it here.

Unfortunately, the truth with most Singaporeans is they are mind-controlled and need words from the government to tell them what to eat and live for life

 

[Dongyi]

I also say. Sinkie women mostly 见钱眼开 type.

見錢眼開
完璧等拆
肉棒猛塞
淫聲唉唉

 

[Tragedeigh]

見錢眼開
完璧等拆
肉棒猛塞
淫聲唉唉

Very graphic poetic description. 李白就是李白. Can change the shell but the substance always remains

 

[searcher1]