Redditer: visiting deceased on hari raya

[Flibbertigibbet]

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visiting deceased on hari raya​

General

i dont really know where to ask this so im trying on this sub.

my father recently passed away this year in january, so i searched online if visiting a deceased on the first day of hari raya is a custom thing or is it mandatory. i wasnt really sure of the answers i found. its my first time visiting without parents or other adults, so its just me and my husband, and the last time i visited a grave was when i was probably less than 10 years old. so i dont really know what i should do.

i want to ask if it is mandatory, something in a sense of respecting the dead. and what do i do when im visiting? do i still have to wear a hijab? do i need to buy water to pour over the grave and flower petals to scatter just like what we did when we buried them?

please help me out, thank you!

 

[Flibbertigibbet]

@syed putra
Any advice for her?

 

[syed putra]

No need to visit lah! Once dead is dead. Already judged by his deeds. Nothing you do can save him. You an if you want place a flower or pour water in Memory of the good times and struggle daddy did raising you. He may be able to see it from where ever he is currently. But that is it.
Does not need to be on raya day.