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- Aug 20, 2022
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Stopped dating ever since my ex commited suic*de
Hear me outJust something I wanted to get off my chest for the past few years.
Just so happened to had Instagram algorithm showing me reels about loneliness and Ryan gosling and a lot of emotional reels (using songs like black out days, this is what winter feels like etc).
Can't help but to suddenly remember this 10 years ago.
We had a big fight which was ridiculously stupid and reckless back then, as a teenager. But ever since that tragedy happened, I felt so distant and felt like I can't even socialise properly.
I couldn't sleep well at night, was in government sector but because of the sensitive nature and the stress within the workplace dealing with other people nonsense, I have seen therapists and went for psychologist and a doctor has certified me having depression.
This year I feel a lot more quieter than usual, and even though my new place has a lot of supportive colleagues, and I have been speaking to a lot of girls, I felt like my heart just isn't beating or feeling anything recently.
Even going out with friends, I have just been starting to feel more in the void, finding less things to talk about or do.
I am not planning to do anything to myself, or hurt anyone or make my parents sad over this, but I feel I'm starting to feel less romantic or emotionally attached to everything again.
But I guess it's been a decade since, I guess I'll just take more time to heal and recover then