Redditer: Statement on COE for trains, 2030 (satire)

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Statement on COE for trains, 2030 (satire)​

Funny

“Our Mayors and District Councillors,

Distinguished guests,

Ladies and gentlemen,

Good morning.

My fellow Singaporeans, today I am happy to announce a new measure to keep our public transport system reliable, comfortable, and sustainable.

All of you will know that during peak hours, our trains are getting more congested. When you take the MRT in the morning and evening, you can feel it. Times have changed, and our travel patterns have changed too. More people are travelling at the same time, on the same lines, to the same places. In an uncertain world, we must stay ahead of these pressures, not only react after problems become worse.

So we are introducing something new. A COE to use the train.

Like the car COE, the Train COE will cost exactly the same as the car COE at the moment you purchase it. The principle is simple. If demand is high, we manage demand. Not by scolding people, not by blaming commuters, but by using a fair and transparent mechanism.

But unlike the car COE, we will make the process easier. There is no bidding, no tender, no quota to fight over. You will do it conveniently through a new GovTech app, COE@SG and can pay it through instalments annually. You can apply using your phone, receive your approval, and start travelling with confidence. If you need help, you can go to your Community Club, and our staff will assist you.

Now some will ask, why are we doing this?

Because we want to encourage a train-lite lifestyle, and keep our trains light too. When fewer people crowd onto trains at peak hours, the system runs better. Breakdowns become less likely, maintenance pressures go down, and we can keep improving reliability. And when we save on maintenance, we can redirect resources back to Singaporeans. This means more GST vouchers and more support for households.

But managing congestion is not only about a COE. It is also about usage, and that is why we are introducing Train ERP. This will be rolled out effective on February 14, 2030. All Singaporeans are eligible for a one-time 5% discount. As for our foreign talent, they will have to be liable for an extra 20% cost of the COE, mandatory to pay regardless of whether they use it or not. These costs will be carried by the SMEs instead of our foreign worker’s pockets.

Just like how we manage road congestion, we will manage rail congestion at specific high-demand stations. This will be targeted, and it will be transparent.

For mature estates and high-traffic heartland areas, when you pass through, there will be a small Train ERP charge of 0.8 cents. This includes Paya Lebar, Tampines, Bedok, Toa Payoh, Bishan, Ang Mo Kio, Serangoon, Clementi, Queenstown, Bukit Merah, Bukit Batok, Jurong West, Choa Chu Kang, Sengkang, Hougang, Woodlands, Yishun, and Pasir Ris.

For major business and city-core stations where peak crowding is most intense, there will be an additional $1 charge when passing through. This includes City Hall, Raffles Place, Marina Bay, Downtown, Shenton Way, Telok Ayer, Tanjong Pagar, Bugis, Dhoby Ghaut, Orchard, Outram Park, and HarbourFront. We will also include key regional commercial hubs like Jurong East, and key employment corridors like Pioneer and Joo Koon.

And during peak hours, there will be a $2 cost to alight at these busiest stations, because the biggest pinch point is not only the train. It is the platform, the escalators, the gantries, and the crowding at the exits.

Now, some Singaporeans will say, “This sounds like a lot of charging.”

So let me explain the approach clearly. This is not about collecting revenue. It is about shaping behaviour, spreading demand, and keeping the system usable for everyone. If we do nothing, the train system becomes more crowded, less reliable, and more costly to maintain. And then everyone pays in a different way, through delays, through discomfort, and through more public spending.

That is why we will also do what we always do. We will give support.

To make the scheme more balanced, at the end of each year, Train COE holders will receive back 5 percent of the Train COE value, in the form of vouchers. These vouchers will be used specifically to offset Train ERP charges.

The logic is straightforward. If you have proven that you are using the transport system efficiently, and you are contributing to keeping peak congestion down, we want to reward you. We want to encourage the right behaviour, and we want to make it fair.

This is not just about transport. It is about how we live.

Healthcare spending is rising, and one key reason is our ageing population. We want an active ageing society where our seniors remain healthy and mobile. A train-lite lifestyle encourages more walking and cycling, and we know this supports better health outcomes. More savings on trains maintenance will mean more vouchers. It is good for you, it is good for your family, and it is good for Singapore.

And yes, some seniors tell us they want to continue working. They want purpose. They want to stay active. So if we can build a healthier population, we can support longer working lives, and we can do it in a way that is sustainable for the country.

Some Singaporeans will say, “Is this just one time? Is this temporary? Is this what we want?”

Let me assure you, this is not a one-off exercise. The government will provide help for as long as it is needed. We will continue to review and strengthen our system, whether in transport, healthcare, housing, education, or retirement. We will adjust policies as circumstances change, because we must stay resilient and prepared in an uncertain world. And we know these vouchers are what our residents want. The vote and mandate has shown it.

Others will ask, “Is this sustainable? Can the government keep doing this?”

That is a good question. We must be fiscally responsible. The PAP government is making the right decisions, not the easy decisions. We will spend what is needed to protect Singaporeans, but we will do it in a way that is sustainable over the long term. That is what responsible government is about.

My fellow Singaporeans, we are in this together. If we manage demand, keep our system light, and build a healthier society, we will be able to support everyone better. And we will continue to do what is needed, for as long as it is needed.

Thank you.

Prime Minister

Lawful Wrong

/sature

/pleasedontpofma