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- Aug 20, 2022
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Should i stay or should i go…
ConfusedI (28F) have been in an affair with a MM (52M) for the last 4 years now. What started as a mutual crush and attraction has spun out into us meeting up at least once a week to hang out/ sex, sometimes dinner dates, but we see each other almost every day due to our careers/ proximity to our offices. He really puts in the effort and makes me feel special by spending his free time with me whenever he can.
When we are together, I am just smitten by this man. We have more in common (despite our age gap) than any romantic partner i’ve ever had. Everything i want and more, checks every box. However, obviously married. They have older (late teens, 20s) children with busy lives. He states they are in the “platonic” phase of parenting and as cliche as that sounds, I’ve seen proof to believe him.
Early in our affair (literally week 2), she found out from their family phone tracker. Whoops. Things cooled off for about 6 months since he got spooked but started right back up again, with no signs of slowing down for the last few years.
Twice now, i have come to my senses and tried to end it. Sometimes the “almost” is just to unbearable for me. I spill my feelings, ugly cry, and he listens and makes me feel heard. He always fights for his way back, and i fold each time.
So here’s the thing. He is very honest and states he is planning on divorce, but “doesn’t know when.” Their children’s lives are very complicated. He doesn’t just tell me what i want to hear either, he has expressed his concern of our age gap and the appearance of our relationship to outside people.
Am i stupid for being in love? I’ve survived a traumatic abusive relationship when i was very young, so really he has revived my emotional side again. I’m not sure what to do. I’m in love with him but I don’t think we’re going anywhere.
