Redditer : "I Messed Up, and I Know It". Is she a slut?

[metanoia]

I Messed Up, and I Know It​

Hear me out

This is a tough post to write, but I think it’s time I share what's been on my mind. I’ve been in a relationship with someone who treats me really well, who’s amazing, kind, and supportive. And yet, I’ve found myself in a situation that feels completely out of line with my values and what I want.

While my partner has been away for a few weeks, I downloaded a dating app. I went on dates, met new people, and even got attention from guys who seemed genuinely interested in me. Honestly, at first, it was kind of refreshing. It felt good to be wanted, to be pursued. I’m not even sure what it was that made me seek this out, but I know part of it is a feeling of loneliness. I’ve been craving attention and connection, things that have been hard to get in the current situation. The thing is, my partner is a good person. I love and appreciate them, and I never wanted to hurt anyone. But I also realize that I’m not in a place where I can give my full commitment, especially when there are other people out there who are serious about pursuing me. And that scares me. It makes me question everything.

I know this isn’t the right way to deal with my feelings. I’ve been reflecting a lot, and I recognize that this behavior is not healthy for me, for my partner, or for anyone involved. It's a mix of emotional needs not being met, and maybe some deeper stuff that I haven’t fully worked through. But I know now that seeking external validation through these dates wasn’t the answer, and I’ve put myself in a messy situation that I created.

So here I am, trying to figure out what to do next. I can’t pretend like nothing happened, and I don’t want to keep living in confusion. Part of me is wondering if it’s better to end everything and take a break from relationships entirely, to really focus on myself and work through what’s going on inside. I don’t want to hurt my partner, but I also don’t want to continue making choices that go against what I believe is right.

It’s a hard place to be in, but I’m trying to be honest with myself. And I’m curious to hear if any of you is in a similar situation and have advice to share.

PS. What I do not need is people calling me out for who messed up I am as a person, I’m fully aware of that.

 

[A Singaporean]

Is this a good reason to be a women free CAQ ?

 

[Sustanon]

I need to see her real picture before I can comment on anything.

 

[syed putra]

She should explore every available alternative before committing.

 

[syed putra]

Is this a good reason to be a women free CAQ ?

Not if she flirted with you.

 

[sbfuncle]

This is a traits of a full fledged slut.
Maybe she thought that by acknowledging it can leedeem some Sluttiness in her. But it doesn't work this way.
This kind of slut better just be a whore.
Everyday can change different partner.

 

[hepburn21]

She wants a fling but can't deal with the guilt and wants absolution.

That's why the catholics invented confession.

67 Hail Marys and all's good.

 

[glockman]

No need for her to write a six-paragraph essay. Can summarise everything into two sentences.

Current bf good looking but not rich, others are rich but look like shit. Hence her predicament, but all will be easy to decide when a good looking rich guy turns up.

 

[bobby]

Why write long essay on irrelevant and useless info.

Write on what happened at the dates and better still provide peekture or go on onlyfans and show us.

 

[WangChuk]

CB itchy ... 1 dick not enough to ease her itch .... go out let loose and enjoy free dicks every night .... if preggy then ask her stupid partner be father of babies lor ... her parents will stand on her side if her partner finds out.

 

[nabeifuckpap]

Sinkie in 2026: Just fuck off

 

[syed putra]

This is a traits of a full fledged slut.
Maybe she thought that by acknowledging it can leedeem some Sluttiness in her. But it doesn't work this way.
This kind of slut better just be a whore.
Everyday can change different partner.

You would do the same thing if unsure about long term commitments.
The guy maybe nice but girls nowadays look for aggressive ambitious men.

 

[sbfuncle]

You would do the same thing if unsure about long term commitments.
The guy maybe nice but girls nowadays look for aggressive ambitious men.

I won't do the same as this slut if I'm unsure.
I will just stay single first and call chicken when the need arise.
Until when I know what I want I.e to stay single or be a slut/chicken or a steady leelation then I will make the move accordingly as follow

1. If I want to go steady, I look for a bf

2. If I want to be a slut, I will go dating app to find fuck buddies.

3. If I want to be a chicken, I either go social media to sell my cb or sell directly on the streets.

4. If I want to be single, I just status quo.

 

[metanoia]

No need for her to write a six-paragraph essay. Can summarise everything into two sentences.

Current bf good looking but not rich, others are rich but look like shit. Hence her predicament, but all will be easy to decide when a good looking rich guy turns up.

Your intelligence is unparalleled.

姜还是老的辣

 

[sbfuncle]

You would do the same thing if unsure about long term commitments.
The guy maybe nice but girls nowadays look for aggressive ambitious men.

I won't go steady with someone first then while he is away, I then be a slut or chicken.
If along the way while I was still having steady leelation and unsure of if I want to be a slut or chicken or a steady bf. I will tell my bf I need time to think of whether I want to be a chicken slut. After I get my own answer then I will ask him if he still want to be my bf if I want a bf and doea want to be a chicken slut.

We shouldn't be a chicken slut while still clinging on to someone in a leelation.

We also shouldn't leefuse to acknowledge ourselves as chicken slut like gansiokbin when not in a leelation, while behaving like a chicken slut.
Just acknowledge it and things will get more simpler in life.

I'm a very clear minded person FYI.

 

[Dreamliner787]

This is a traits of a full fledged slut.
Maybe she thought that by acknowledging it can leedeem some Sluttiness in her. But it doesn't work this way.
This kind of slut better just be a whore.
Everyday can change different partner.

You are right. She clung to partial honesty as a way to relieve her moral guilt, hoping it might absolve her of the stigma of being called a slut.

A more effective strategy would be to coin a new term for this type of relationship. For instance, she may travel with these men while labeling them as “travel mates,” thereby allowing any moral guilt associated with carnal pleasure during such trips to be conveniently obscured.​

 

[sbfuncle]

You are right. She clung to partial honesty as a way to relieve her moral guilt, hoping it might absolve her of the stigma of being called a slut.

A more effective strategy would be to coin a new term for this type of relationship. For instance, she may travel with these men while labeling them as “travel mates,” thereby allowing any moral guilt associated with carnal pleasure during such trips to be conveniently obscured.​

Well said in A1 English format.

That's why I told @syed putra that I won't do this kind of lj thing.
If unsure just tell the bf first rather than be a slut behind bf.
Also a selfish act and wanting sure win mindset

 

[Dreamliner787]

Well said in A1 English format.

That's why I told @syed putra that I won't do this kind of lj thing.
If unsure just tell the bf first rather than be a slut behind bf.
Also a selfish act and wanting sure win mindset

She would walk the road of vice, yet have the world praise her as chaste. ​

 

[sbfuncle]

She would walk the road of vice, yet have the world praise her as chaste. ​

This kind is Gansiokbin character too.
Just admit I'm a slut and things get much simpler after that .

 

[WangChuk]

I won't go steady with someone first then while he is away, I then be a slut or chicken.
If along the way while I was still having steady leelation and unsure of if I want to be a slut or chicken or a steady bf. I will tell my bf I need time to think of whether I want to be a chicken slut. After I get my own answer then I will ask him if he still want to be my bf if I want a bf and doea want to be a chicken slut.

We shouldn't be a chicken slut while still clinging on to someone in a leelation.

We also shouldn't leefuse to acknowledge ourselves as chicken slut like gansiokbin when not in a leelation, while behaving like a chicken slut.
Just acknowledge it and things will get more simpler in life.

I'm a very clear minded person FYI.

unfortunately U not chiobu ... otherwise Ur boyfriend confirm lucky no need wear NCC beret ...