Redditer: Found out sick/dying mum has a godson

[Tragedeigh]

Found out sick/dying mum has a godson​

Hi all, how common is it in Singapore for people to have godchildren, and do they ever take on a role that replaces actual children?

So to give some background, I'm (30+M), my mother (60+) was diagnosed with cancer around mid 2025 and had been receiving treatment (radiation and chemotherapy) at a local hospital until end 2025. She was awaiting a review by the cancer doctor (I think they're called oncologists?) to check whether the treatment was successful when she got hit with life threatening infection that almost cost her her life. Thankfully, she seems to be recovering although she might need a helper at home for a long time. A lot of things happened in-between and I can elaborate further if there is an opportunity.

When she first got diagnosed and was staying in a hospital, my family (2 younger brothers and my father) noticed that there was a China (a real PRC, so I will refer to him as such) man (40+) who was unusually close to my mother. He was always at her bedside when family visited her and she would shoo us away when we visited her but let the PRC man stay. Our family members would spend more time travelling to visit her than the actual visit itself, while my mum seems happier when PRC or other friends visited. This really pissed us off.

So fast forward to her being warded due to infection (our family saved her by rushing her to the hosp against her wished btw), doctor told the family that the infection was life threatening and that family had to decide on treatment plan. PRC man started interfering in family matters, such as attempting to influence my mom to go for a dangerous surgery which resulted in him being blocked by the family. Guess what, my mum unblocked him herself afterwards, telling us that she wanted to see him even though he almost got her killed.

So afterwards, PRC man basically got involved with a lot of family matters such as collaborating with my mum's younger sister to separate her from her family, stopping her family from receiving important updates from the hospital (mum transferred hospital recently and we were not informed, bloody hell) as well as telling her to say or do things that she would not normally do. That was a tldr but I could elaborate on this next time.

--end of lore for now--

But back to the point, my mum absolutely adores this guy. I had the opportunity to go through her phone when she gave me the password and found out things that broke me. Lots of her passwords were in the format of [PRC Man]@ddmmyy when they used to be my brother's name (he was always the favorite child but nvm). I also found other evidence such as them taking grad photos (you know the one a family takes together with their kids wearing grad gown), them on outing etc. Everything that mother should have done with her kids.

I was hit with a wave of extremely negative emotions after this realization, because it explains why she seemed so worried about not being able to see him despite her sons pleading with her about being uncomfortable about having him around. PRC man was basically fulfilling her needs of being a mother, so much that she would protect him even from her own family who was concerned for her safety. Like mentioned, PRC man and my mom's sister made it absolute hell for my family to care for my mother in hospital, and basically said we were not doing our best for her. Throughout this time, my mother never once defended nor protected her family, nor answered the difficult questions that we asked her. Just few days ago, we received a report from the hosp (good on them) that my mum referred to a suspicious person as a "godson".

To say I’m devastated is an understatement. My father, my brothers, and I are all deeply hurt that my mum had this secret relationship with someone outside the family, and that she continues to enable his involvement even though it’s clearly causing us pain. To be really raw with this, there have been multiple instances where I would be ok if my mum just died. I just want the pain to go away.

I could elaborate more on my relationship with my mum next time but she was basically a typical, traditional, narcissistic, emotionally abusive asian mother that would make any adult child distant from her. She has never changed in her ways, said sorry or made amends with us but now we find out that she is a replacement for the adult sons that she messed up?

Sorry for the long post, I tried to give some context to my situation while providing only the information relevant to my question. My mother is (unfortunately) not dying anymore so she is currently enjoying the company of both her toxic friends and her immediate family while doing recovery.

I do not know what I should do. Maybe this is more of a rant than anything else, but I am really struggling with how to treat my mother after this. It feels like she expects her children to fulfil all the traditional obligations, such as financial support, caregiving and regular visits. She keeps emphasising how much she wants to see me and my brothers, but I cannot tell whether she genuinely cares for us or whether she simply expects it because she gave birth to us and raised us. Once she is discharged, we will be the ones responsible for her long term care, but it feels like we will always come second to the people she chooses to surround herself with, even when they have clearly hurt us. If she now has someone she treats like a godson, I honestly do not know what my role is supposed to be anymore. Should I even bother trying to be a son to her at all.

I would appreciate any perspectives on this. I know my view is based on my own experience and emotions, so it might be skewed. If you need more context, I can share. My family and I are supporting each other, but we are all extremely hurt that the person causing us the most pain is also the person we are expected to take care of.

Thanks in advance fellow Singaporeans.

-----Edit (21/02/2026 01:39)-----

Thanks for all the advice so far, I'll just add some more context:

1. Family also initially suspected this PRC is a scammer (not saying that he is confirmed not a scammer now), he puts himself out as someone who treats my mum as his own mum. Based on other eyewitness accounts, he goes out of his way to spend time with her in and is also not close with other people in the same circle. He is basically a creep, heard from my bro that he once sent my mum a cctv to install at home so that he can monitor her while she is sick (I sleep next to my mum so that I can support her up when she needs to at night, the cctv would have captured me as well), amongst other inappropriate things that he did. based on her phone history, they have known each other since 2023.
2. My mum is not rich, she has a been a low earner her whole life, but apparently has hoarded a lot of money (less than 500k). She basically does not pay for household expenses, receives allowance from me and my brother and so had lots of opportunities to save money. Based on what we managed to fish out while she was hospitalised, seems like she and her sister have some grand plan for their future, so it is likely that the sister has more insights into her assets than us. BTW, according to my dad, half our house is hers.

Believe it or not, there are even more details that makes things more complicated. But I will reveal them as necessary. Thanks again SG redditors.

-----End Edit (21/02/2026 01:39)-----

 

[Boonsiong]

Real son, not godson
偷生

 

[Truthspeak]

Is the mum a vaxtard who is dying young and worse still went for chemotherapy to make her condition worse?

Singaporeans are indeed stupid

 

[syed putra]

Real son, not godson
偷生

Godson from china. Mom from China too? Send her back to China.

 

[Sustanon]

Is the mum a vaxtard who is dying young and worse still went for chemotherapy to make her condition worse?

Singaporeans are indeed stupid

That's how those big pharmas squeeze them till the last drop one..... First stage a plandemic, social distancing and minimize their communications, use mass media to spread fear 9696, lock them up for a extended period of time, offer them "safe and effective solutions", sheeples will be begging for the zhams and thank them for it.
Gezz.... isn't this military grade mass formation psychosis??? Ummm... very much like the dystopian novel 1984 isn't it lol....

Anyway once those zhams starts to work it's magic many months or years down the road, weird weird stuff starts happening and then the big pharma comes in again with another "solution" to sell them more treatment that cost a bomb and doesn't work and only enriches the shareholders of those big pharmas. Those patients lying there probably wouldn't even be there in the first place had they stood their ground and refuse to comply.

In essence, the sheeples literally pay money out of their own pocket and sacrifice their health to assist them to build a bigger and better mouse trap that enriches no one other than the garhmen, WHO, WEF, Tech companies (FAANG), big pharmas shareholders. Sheeples (those low IQ doctors and healthcare providers too) are so eager to take pictures with billy, albert bo lan, etc... what does that says about their level of intelligence?

I think most of the unvax already saw this coming way before those PCB zhams were even out. Anyone out there want to dispute what I just say and brush me off as a pariah or siao lang???

 

[A Singaporean]

Accept the fact the mother couldn't stand her own coolie gene Sinkie children. She is doing the right thing. Coolie gene Sinkies only concern about having to share their inheritance. They are absolutely useless.

 

[Truthspeak]

That's how those big pharmas squeeze them till the last drop one..... First stage a plandemic, social distancing and minimize their communications, use mass media to spread fear 9696, lock them up for a extended period of time, offer them "safe and effective solutions", sheeples will be begging for the zhams and thank them for it.
Gezz.... isn't this military grade mass formation psychosis??? Ummm... very much like the dystopian novel 1984 isn't it lol....

Anyway once those zhams starts to work it's magic many months or years down the road, weird weird stuff starts happening and then the big pharma comes in again with another "solution" to sell them more treatment that cost a bomb and doesn't work and only enriches the shareholders of those big pharmas. Those patients lying there probably wouldn't even be there in the first place had they stood their ground and refuse to comply.

In essence, the sheeples literally pay money out of their own pocket and sacrifice their health to assist them to build a bigger and better mouse trap that enriches no one other than the garhmen, WHO, WEF, Tech companies (FAANG), big pharmas shareholders. Sheeples (those low IQ doctors and healthcare providers too) are so eager to take pictures with billy, albert bo lan, etc... what does that says about their level of intelligence?

I think most of the unvax already saw this coming way before those PCB zhams were even out. Anyone out there want to dispute what I just say and brush me off as a pariah or siao lang???

You were right. Unfortunately, too many sheeple among us