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- Aug 20, 2022
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Feeling down and out of my league
I need advice!Saw this girl in class.Not spoken a word to each other but since it's a sort of circular lecture theatre, we're sort of sitting opposite one another and our eyes meet from time to time. Although, I tend to not hold eye contact cause it's just awkward ig.
First day of class, I noticed her. Pretty tall, maybe almost 1.8, pretty, dresses well, and is academically strong (found out later). She doesn't contribute in class much but she does when called on by the lecturers. She has a pretty reserved demeanour, sitting by herself and not talking to anyone.
And when she put on specs, I would say, WOW, I never thought someone could look that gd in specs. I'm like is anyone seeing this or what.....
Yeah anyway, I bumped into her a couple of times, but since we don't even know each other or for whatever reason (maybe she's creeped out, who knows...), we just walk straight pass one another.
I'm a pretty quiet dude. I've worked out, got myself from a 90kg fat 1.7 dude to 1.8, and maybe even average looks on a good day. Although, I must say my dress sense is pretty bad still... So, just imagine best case, an above average height, bespectacled, normie SG dude.
I'm not gonna lie and say I don't have insecurities and all, but I would summarise them to say I'm hella scared of rejection, tired of getting ahead of myself and ending up left hanging. I've had a couple of relationships and situationships, and, it's yours truly that ended up at the deep end. Beat me up pretty good. Sidenote, as a dude, I can't begin to tell you how you honestly feel like trash when girls give you the "you're trash" look.
So, let's just say I've convinced myself I''m not gonna even try cause well, she's likely taken, I'm probably not on her level yada yada....
Today was one of those lectures we took together. Obviously, I didn't make a move cause that's what I told myself....
So after lecture, I went to the washroom and called out to my friends as I that they just exited the gantry. Low and behold, she was sitting at the bench waiting for someone. I saw her turn her head to look at me, and I looked at her for a split second, before walking to my friends.... Only thought was: well she's probably waiting for her bf...
I was on the bus on the way home, about 15-20 mins from school. I was at the back seat of those SBS buses. And well, while the bus was driving, I sort of saw a similar silhouette on the sidewalk....
So you know that reaction where you look out the back-window... Yeah that was me. I turned around and saw her walking down the pavement, beaming from ear to ear while chatting on the phone, unlike her usual serious demeanour in lecture.. I just thought wow cute smile lol
Honestly, atp, I just need some justification to give this all up... To bury this in one corner you know cause if it makes things go south, why even take the risk you know... rather be strangers than for her to be weirded out. At least I know I'm not associated negatively haizz...
