Reason why there are many singles in Sg.

[denzuko1]

Oct 23, 2008

'WHY I CHOSE A CHINA BRIDE'

It's an insult to S'pore women

I REFER to Mr Alvin Tan's letter last Sunday, 'Why I chose a China bride'. I am astonished that a single passage could make me feel insulted, tickled and disbelieving all at once. Mr Tan is either seriously misinformed of the needs and wants of the modern Singapore woman, or is still steeped in the traditional notion of how men and women should behave.

First, I am unclear of his intention. I believe his marriage to his Chinese bride was between two people truly in love. Why then the need to defend his choice? Why the need to accuse thousands of Singapore women of being clueless of what they want, or even imply indirectly we all want to be treated as the weaker sex?

What also puzzles me is how Mr Tan manages to equate wanting a date to be gentlemanly with wanting to be the weaker sex. If wanting a man to hold the door open for a woman, an act of 'gentlemanliness', can be construed as weakness, does my ability to open my own door signify how strong and masculine I am? I pray not, or I would face a serious identity crisis.
And really, does having our own career or equal abilities to men mean we have become men ourselves? The 'equal footing' treatment we demand is recognition of our abilities to carry out our jobs. Not to be treated like men, but acknowledgement that we are as capable as men. If we 'should expect to be treated equally - the way men treat other men', then perhaps from the perspective of a woman, the equal treatment Mr Tan is looking for is to be treated like a best buddy-cum-girlfriend and not boyfriend material.
Mr Tan also insinuates that, if women want equality, they should see themselves home after a date, as 'there is no need for the man to escort' her. Men with such a mentality make bad dates, or do not have sufficient affection for the woman they are dating. Not wanting to escort your girlfriend home means you don't care about her.

Mr Tan, I am happy you found someone to love and care for. But there was no need to collectively insult the entire female population in Singapore, simply because you were unable to find someone to suit your needs here. I am certain we know what we want in a man - someone who respects us, treats us equally (not like other men) and has no reservations about being a gentleman.

Sherry Aw (Ms)

..... and I do note that the writer is still a 'Ms'. If she wants men to treat her as equal, then they will treat her like other men. Otherwise, it is not equal.

Btw, respect is earned and not demanded.

 

[tonychat]

Who the hell wanna respect a sinkie woman?

 

[eeoror88]

China mei meis better fucks ??

 

[tonychat]

First, I am unclear of his intention. I believe his marriage to his Chinese bride was between two people truly in love. Why then the need to defend his choice? Why the need to accuse thousands of Singapore women of being clueless of what they want, or even imply indirectly we all want to be treated as the weaker sex?

Let me explain this. It is because you useless sinkie women that cause the men to make extra effort to go out of sinkieland to find a bride. If sinkie women are of any use, the guys will not do that.

ANd yes, if you are of any use, why still a (Ms) and not Mrs. By using Mrs, you use the surname of your husband and it means the guy is glad to let you use his surname. I wonder is there any guy allow you to use his surname on you.

 

[tonychat]

Mr Tan also insinuates that, if women want equality, they should see themselves home after a date, as 'there is no need for the man to escort' her. Men with such a mentality make bad dates, or do not have sufficient affection for the woman they are dating.

Affections are for REAL woman. Please take note of that.

 

[SIFU]

some thai loser cannot find spore gf becos his face looked like kena lorry langar and fat like shit..

thus he go over to thai and pay for a constant companion..

he calls her "girlfren".

but she calls him "my carrot head"

thats why he stay single in spore lor.. now become everything anti-spore liao..

 

[denzuko1]

I think both sexes in Singappore need to rethink their relationship. The article clearly shows that the conflict starts with traditional thoughts clashes with modern lifestyle.

Men have to rethink their values in the society, we are no longer in the olden days where family duties are segregated by sex. Things change when women started to join the work force. Man would need to treat woman with the same level of respect as colleagues at work place, unlike Japan who still treats their women as inferior subject. I think most men still marking women with a max of 10 points on fuckability and looks.

Equally, woman should expect less of the "priviledges" that they used to have if they want to be treated as equal. For instance, getting a man sending you home after a date is a priviledge, bare in mind that you are likely to take a cab and it will burn a big hole just to send you home. If you need men to open the door for you, try doing it for them as well. If in marketing term, I would call this repositioning to gain the niche.

 

[tonychat]

Not bad.. IN other words, their thinking is still at the developing stage. It is not necessary that in a developed country, you will have pple who are developed in thinking.

Similarly, in a developing country, there are qualities of the people who are first world.

 

[STUCK_HERE]

No need to slam all the sinkie woman. If you are a real man, you would be rejoice in your China woman and be thankful. Don't forget that marriage is easily 40 years commitment. Its a long time. Don't talk cock too soon.

 

[lolabunny]

I think both sexes in Singappore need to rethink their relationship. The article clearly shows that the conflict starts with traditional thoughts clashes with modern lifestyle.

Men have to rethink their values in the society, we are no longer in the olden days where family duties are segregated by sex. Things change when women started to join the work force. Man would need to treat woman with the same level of respect as colleagues at work place, unlike Japan who still treats their women as inferior subject. I think most men still marking women with a max of 10 points on fuckability and looks.

Equally, woman should expect less of the "priviledges" that they used to have if they want to be treated as equal. For instance, getting a man sending you home after a date is a priviledge, bare in mind that you are likely to take a cab and it will burn a big hole just to send you home. If you need men to open the door for you, try doing it for them as well. If in marketing term, I would call this repositioning to gain the niche.

Good points. Sinkapore is quite a safe place, i think a phone call after the girl gets home safely will suffice given how expensive cab rides are and how busy every one's working life is.

Dunno what most women mean by "gentlemen" but they may refer to paying on dates. Personally, I think that taking turns giving treats are ok, but one side paying all the time is ridiculous! That's not dating, it's selling yourself. (for men or women)

I think the under 25 year olds aren't so much like that. We do buy the bfs presents etc and go dutch on dates.

This woman must belong to the 30-45 year old group. They mostly have warped views like Sumiko T@n. And dunno why most of them die die must carry real LV or Gucci bag and still think that they are so unique.

 

[zhihau]

This woman must belong to the 30-45 year old group. They mostly have warped views like Sumiko T@n. And dunno why most of them die die must carry real LV or Gucci bag and still think that they are so unique.

your boyfriend must be very lucky :p:p

 

[tonychat]

This woman must belong to the 30-45 year old group. They mostly have warped views like Sumiko T@n. And dunno why most of them die die must carry real LV or Gucci bag and still think that they are so unique.

sinkie delusion of superiority?

 

[tonychat]

No need to slam all the sinkie woman. If you are a real man, you would be rejoice in your China woman and be thankful. Don't forget that marriage is easily 40 years commitment. Its a long time. Don't talk cock too soon.

He is just kind enough to warn other bros in sinkieland. Nothing wrong with that.

He is also telling men in sinkieland that there are more women outside the 640 sqkm dot. YOu got to constantly remind sinkie men that if not they thoguht the whole world is only 640sqkm.

 

[char_jig_kar]

simply put, this is one nation of nerds with prince or princess syndrome.

parents want their kids to study study study. no need to do housework. doesn't matter on all other aspect in life. both gender turn out to be nerds with prince or princess syndrome.

 

[tonychat]

simply put, this is one nation of nerds with prince or princess syndrome.

parents want their kids to study study study. no need to do housework. doesn't matter on all other aspect in life. both gender turn out to be nerds with prince or princess syndrome.

i couldn't have said it better. A country of nerds.

 

[denzuko1]

Dunno what most women mean by "gentlemen" but they may refer to paying on dates. Personally, I think that taking turns giving treats are ok, but one side paying all the time is ridiculous! That's not dating, it's selling yourself. (for men or women)

The "Gentlemen" treatment is in conflict with "Equality". You cannot be gentlement and yet achieve equality. Its a way that women says," you have to treat me like a queen, while I a slave on you."

Further to that, a "gentlemen" treatment is only applicable to a "lady", base on the way this lady is responding to the original article, there do not seem to be a lot of "Lady" in her. We can only treat her the way she behaves. In fact, I have a strong feeling that she and that man she criticised is a perfect match made in heaven.

 

[tonychat]

Further to that, a "gentlemen" treatment is only applicable to a "lady", base on the way this lady is responding to the original article, there do not seem to be a lot of "Lady" in her

That is why i say, affections are for REAL woman. If dunno how to behave like real woman, then get a plane ticket to fly around the region to learn. And dun get green-eyed if by any chance to met a woman at the region is with a singapore guy.

 

[lolabunny]

your boyfriend must be very lucky :p:p

no la. young gals dunno how to sayang guys, always quarrel here and there. :p sometimes can be quite fun though.

he likes to go pros. coz no need to spend $ on me.

 

[oli9]

Clearly, this MISS Sherry Aw is either either seriously misinformed of the needs and wants of the modern Singapore man, or is still steeped in the traditional notion of how men and women should behave.
I think she should go out more often & look at her own kind. One thing for sure which i can safely generalise - most Sinkie women cant cook for shit!!! So is cooking important in a relationship? To me it is, just as important for men to take care of household bills.
If women demands that men pays for everything & get a maid to cook, then she better be good in bed.

 

[tomoko]

Why China so far away? There are plenty in Malaysia or Indonesia