Instead of suing MINDEF, this is what the parents should do:
http://www.tnp.sg/news/singapore-ne...king-stories-coping-after-their-children-died
It has been 14 years since retiree Lawrence Loh, 66, lost his son Daryl, 20, in a naval accident.
But it was deja vu all over again when he saw news of the Sabah quake.
Mr Loh, who was the executive vice-president of marketing at Singapore Press Holdingswhen he retired in 2012, told TNP: "I could feel how I felt when my son died. I could empathise with how the parents must be feeling - the anxiety, the grief, the emotional aspect and so on.
"The pain can be excruciating. No one can relate to it unless they are personally involved."
In February 2001, Daryl, who was doing his national service, died in a freak accident at Changi Naval Base.
Mr Loh said that although people say time heals all things, the pain lingers.
He added: "It's something parents have to live with. I don't see how a parent can get over it completely."
Mr Loh took about four months to accept his son was gone.
He said: "The worst came after the funeral. I was left alone to reflect after everything was over, and the pain was so great.
"My heart was so congested, so painful. All I could do was to lie flat on the floor and let the pain subside."
Mr Loh used to go to the gym with his son every weekend, but he stopped for many years after his son's death as it reminded him of their time together.
These days, the bereaved father especially misses his son when he meets up with Daryl's friends.
He said: "It does bring back memories. I would think: 'He would be one of them, in terms of marriage, life, career.' These thoughts come to me."
Mr Loh feels bereaved parents should go through the grieving process for healing to take place.
He said: "For the parents who are affected, they have to accept the fact their child is gone. If they go through the grieving process, then healing can take place."
He encourages bereaved parents to talk about it as it relieves the stress.
"When I talk about it, it gives me the opportunity to go through the entire episode again and again to a point where I begin to accept it. Keeping it bottled up will have detrimental effects.
"Cry if you need to, there is no shame in crying."
Keeping it bottled up will have detrimental effects. Cry if you need to, there is no shame in crying.
- Mr Lawrence Loh
- See more at: http://www.tnp.sg/news/singapore-ne...fter-their-children-died#sthash.873WPylT.dpuf
http://www.tnp.sg/news/singapore-ne...king-stories-coping-after-their-children-died
It has been 14 years since retiree Lawrence Loh, 66, lost his son Daryl, 20, in a naval accident.
But it was deja vu all over again when he saw news of the Sabah quake.
Mr Loh, who was the executive vice-president of marketing at Singapore Press Holdingswhen he retired in 2012, told TNP: "I could feel how I felt when my son died. I could empathise with how the parents must be feeling - the anxiety, the grief, the emotional aspect and so on.
"The pain can be excruciating. No one can relate to it unless they are personally involved."
In February 2001, Daryl, who was doing his national service, died in a freak accident at Changi Naval Base.
Mr Loh said that although people say time heals all things, the pain lingers.
He added: "It's something parents have to live with. I don't see how a parent can get over it completely."
Mr Loh took about four months to accept his son was gone.
He said: "The worst came after the funeral. I was left alone to reflect after everything was over, and the pain was so great.
"My heart was so congested, so painful. All I could do was to lie flat on the floor and let the pain subside."
Mr Loh used to go to the gym with his son every weekend, but he stopped for many years after his son's death as it reminded him of their time together.
These days, the bereaved father especially misses his son when he meets up with Daryl's friends.
He said: "It does bring back memories. I would think: 'He would be one of them, in terms of marriage, life, career.' These thoughts come to me."
Mr Loh feels bereaved parents should go through the grieving process for healing to take place.
He said: "For the parents who are affected, they have to accept the fact their child is gone. If they go through the grieving process, then healing can take place."
He encourages bereaved parents to talk about it as it relieves the stress.
"When I talk about it, it gives me the opportunity to go through the entire episode again and again to a point where I begin to accept it. Keeping it bottled up will have detrimental effects.
"Cry if you need to, there is no shame in crying."
Keeping it bottled up will have detrimental effects. Cry if you need to, there is no shame in crying.
- Mr Lawrence Loh
- See more at: http://www.tnp.sg/news/singapore-ne...fter-their-children-died#sthash.873WPylT.dpuf