'You would be teased if you had only one wife'
WHEN she was practising law, Ms Kartini Maarof once went beyond the call of duty for her divorce client.
She arranged for Ms Rohaya Mohamad, a mother of seven, to be married again - to Ms Kartini's own husband.
The spouse they have shared for a decade is 43-year-old Ikramullah Ashaari, who has four wives and 17 children.
His 72-year-old father has 38 offspring from five marriages, without ever having flouted Islam's prescribed limit of four wives at a time.
Polygamy is legal for Muslims in Malaysia, though not widespread. The Ashaari clan believes it should be, reported AP.
Last month, it launched a Polygamy Club that claims the noble aim of helping single mothers, reformed prostitutes and women who feel they are past the marrying age.
'We want to change the way people perceive polygamy, so that it will be seen as something beautiful instead of something disgusting,' said Ms Hatijah Aam, the founder of the club.
She is the fourth wife of Mr Ikramullah's father, Mr Ashaari Muhammad.
Polygamy may seem out of place in an Asian democracy proud of its skyscrapers, high-tech skills and go-getter economy.
But it retains a foothold in this Muslim-majority country of 27 million where piety is deeply embedded and Muslims can be arrested for drinking alcohol or consorting with the opposite sex unless a couple is married.
The government also polices religious practice.
Mr Ashaari, the family patriarch, used to head an Islamic sect that was banned in 1994 as heretical because it projected Mr Ashaari as an absolver of sinners.
Most of the Polygamy Club members belonged to the sect, and there's nothing illegal about how they live now, so long as they're Muslims.
For the one-third of the population that isn't Muslim, polygamy is against the law.
The practice used to be more common but has dwindled to an estimated 2 per cent of all Muslim marriages as women have become freer and careers have opened up for them.
'Some people treat polygamy as a laughing matter because they do not fully comprehend it,' says Mr Ikramullah, a jovial businessman and son of his father's first wife.
'But a community that practises it would know that it is not bizarre. In fact, you would be teased if you were a man with only one wife.'
The club claims to have 300 husbands and 700 wives as members.
Deters adultery
It hopes to cultivate examples of happy households to counter women's rights activists who say some spouses and children suffer in polygamous marriages.
Club members say polygamy deters adultery and would improve the marriage prospects of ex-prostitutes if more men were available to marry them.
But Ms Shahrizat Abdul Jalil, the Muslim female minister in charge of family policy, says polygamy 'is not a culture that is encouraged in our society'.
Sisters in Islam, an advocacy group campaigning against polygamy, says it isn't good for women.
'If people choose to be monogamous, there are enough men for every woman,' it said in a statement to AP.
One opponent of polygamy is a 42-year-old business executive who asked to be identified only as Sharifah.
She said she threatened to divorce her husband of nearly 15 years after he told her last year that he had fallen in love with a divorced mother of three, felt she needed help and wanted to marry her.
'I felt like my fairy tale had ended,' Ms Sharifah said. 'He was my soul mate. ... I couldn't believe it was happening. Then I started to scream at him.'
Sharifah, the breadwinner for her two children and jobless husband, refused to give up on her marriage.
The couple underwent marriage counselling and Sharifah's husband has promised not to marry the other woman.
'Women have to make a stand. We are getting more progressive. We know our rights,' she said. 'I will not enter into a polygamous marriage. I know I deserve better.'
--------------------------------------------------------------------
You may kiss the bride... and bride... and bride... and...
THERE were four brides in the white limousine and they were all his.
Mr Milton Mbhele married four women at the same time.
The women in white gowns each received rings and a kiss from the groom at a ceremony on Saturday attended by hundreds of people in South Africa.
On Sunday, the families gathered for a second traditional Zulu wedding, reported AP. Yesterday, they exchanged gifts.
South African law recognises traditional polygamous marriages - even President Jacob Zuma has three wives. Yet while polygamy remains common among several tribes including the Zulus and Swazis, simultaneous weddings are rare.
Mr Mbhele, 44, a municipal manager, said the joint celebration saved money by combining the festivities.
WHEN she was practising law, Ms Kartini Maarof once went beyond the call of duty for her divorce client.
She arranged for Ms Rohaya Mohamad, a mother of seven, to be married again - to Ms Kartini's own husband.
The spouse they have shared for a decade is 43-year-old Ikramullah Ashaari, who has four wives and 17 children.
His 72-year-old father has 38 offspring from five marriages, without ever having flouted Islam's prescribed limit of four wives at a time.
Polygamy is legal for Muslims in Malaysia, though not widespread. The Ashaari clan believes it should be, reported AP.
Last month, it launched a Polygamy Club that claims the noble aim of helping single mothers, reformed prostitutes and women who feel they are past the marrying age.
'We want to change the way people perceive polygamy, so that it will be seen as something beautiful instead of something disgusting,' said Ms Hatijah Aam, the founder of the club.
She is the fourth wife of Mr Ikramullah's father, Mr Ashaari Muhammad.
Polygamy may seem out of place in an Asian democracy proud of its skyscrapers, high-tech skills and go-getter economy.
But it retains a foothold in this Muslim-majority country of 27 million where piety is deeply embedded and Muslims can be arrested for drinking alcohol or consorting with the opposite sex unless a couple is married.
The government also polices religious practice.
Mr Ashaari, the family patriarch, used to head an Islamic sect that was banned in 1994 as heretical because it projected Mr Ashaari as an absolver of sinners.
Most of the Polygamy Club members belonged to the sect, and there's nothing illegal about how they live now, so long as they're Muslims.
For the one-third of the population that isn't Muslim, polygamy is against the law.
The practice used to be more common but has dwindled to an estimated 2 per cent of all Muslim marriages as women have become freer and careers have opened up for them.
'Some people treat polygamy as a laughing matter because they do not fully comprehend it,' says Mr Ikramullah, a jovial businessman and son of his father's first wife.
'But a community that practises it would know that it is not bizarre. In fact, you would be teased if you were a man with only one wife.'
The club claims to have 300 husbands and 700 wives as members.
Deters adultery
It hopes to cultivate examples of happy households to counter women's rights activists who say some spouses and children suffer in polygamous marriages.
Club members say polygamy deters adultery and would improve the marriage prospects of ex-prostitutes if more men were available to marry them.
But Ms Shahrizat Abdul Jalil, the Muslim female minister in charge of family policy, says polygamy 'is not a culture that is encouraged in our society'.
Sisters in Islam, an advocacy group campaigning against polygamy, says it isn't good for women.
'If people choose to be monogamous, there are enough men for every woman,' it said in a statement to AP.
One opponent of polygamy is a 42-year-old business executive who asked to be identified only as Sharifah.
She said she threatened to divorce her husband of nearly 15 years after he told her last year that he had fallen in love with a divorced mother of three, felt she needed help and wanted to marry her.
'I felt like my fairy tale had ended,' Ms Sharifah said. 'He was my soul mate. ... I couldn't believe it was happening. Then I started to scream at him.'
Sharifah, the breadwinner for her two children and jobless husband, refused to give up on her marriage.
The couple underwent marriage counselling and Sharifah's husband has promised not to marry the other woman.
'Women have to make a stand. We are getting more progressive. We know our rights,' she said. 'I will not enter into a polygamous marriage. I know I deserve better.'
--------------------------------------------------------------------
You may kiss the bride... and bride... and bride... and...
THERE were four brides in the white limousine and they were all his.
Mr Milton Mbhele married four women at the same time.
The women in white gowns each received rings and a kiss from the groom at a ceremony on Saturday attended by hundreds of people in South Africa.
On Sunday, the families gathered for a second traditional Zulu wedding, reported AP. Yesterday, they exchanged gifts.
South African law recognises traditional polygamous marriages - even President Jacob Zuma has three wives. Yet while polygamy remains common among several tribes including the Zulus and Swazis, simultaneous weddings are rare.
Mr Mbhele, 44, a municipal manager, said the joint celebration saved money by combining the festivities.
tell them "sunat" and they will stare at you machiam you are speaking "timbuktoo-ese"
