Transmodified from http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/1252629/1/.html
PEASANTPORE: Birdcage Minion Penang Laksa Khaw says a major shift in planning and development strategy to invest ahead of demand will ensure Peasantpore remains a liveable city for future generations of Familee, Kwas and other nobles.
He said it will be a costly strategy for local peasants but the regime will do its best not to allow local peasants to hijack the agenda and deny fat infrastructure contracts to be put on spot light.
He was speaking in Imperial Court on Wednesday as wayang debate continues on the De-Population of Local Peasants White Lies and Profitable Land Use Scam.
In the near term, the regime has promised enough million dollar Hongkie style birdcages for all as it award contracts for its housing programme to merchants doing their rounds in the RC.
200,000 birdcages will be built over the next four years, and beyond that, another 500,000.
"In 1996, Marboro Tan want to build many birdcages and sell to Hongkis, but lan lan got 1997 Financial Crisis, many birdcages vacant and auditors give Marboro a good grilling for his greed. Since then, he become a turtle and curtail birdcage construction. Then Bargain Hen sabo him and bring in hordes of foreigners and cock him up.
Now different liao, got so many foreigners and Ruler Loong giving full political support to shut the auditors up ..hee hee hee, my job easier liao. Now I can build many birdcages and sell them for fat cat profits to PRs and desperate local peasants. During recessions, birdcages vacant, I already retire liao with fat cat pensions lor. Hee hee...," sneered Penang Laksa.
Given the intensive building programme, the minion said he caught by surprise when opposition Labour Party's proposal to freeze the foreign serfs population immediately and for 8 years.
"KNNCCB, recently i admit i say got new building technology that require lesser PRCs and Banglas hor, but you know, i know that we need foreign serfs to fatten our merchants who pay taxes lah. So just pretend I never say got new pre-fab technologies ok, I still need hordes of foreign serfs," exclaimed Penang Laksa.
"Hee hee, now I just use this for politicking, I ask the Labour Party to please rethink their fuck up ideas and your approach, limit foreign serfs means slower birdcages. But its Marboro and Bargain Hen's cock ups that caused a housing crunch but somehow I managed to push the blame to Labour."
Penang Laksa Khaw reiterated that he will continue to use Quantum Mechanics to de-link the prices of new public Build-To-Order (BTO) birdcages from the resale market fiddle with the markets.
He cited last week's BTO launch as an example.
"Got lumpar netizens now laughing at my 'de-link' theory. If you go KTV lounges, can use this analogy. Every KTV lounge is unique, with some local differences, some charge $50 for rubba, others may charge more like $60. But by and large, at KTV lounges, prices are stable unless you go to top end ones. Likewise our BTO prices steady, still sky high and profitable for us. So what the resale prices had risen, my profits is all that matters. Similar observations can be made in other non-mature estates," said Penang Laksa Khaw.
"Even if I talk cock, I will continue this pricing practice and claim my 'de-link' theory is correct because I studied Quantum Mechanics lor. Got cooling measures wayang only lah. We are never determined to tame the property market, especially the HDB resale market. With sky high prices, we got profits mah...property so easy to make money when you have political power," he remarked happily.
Penang cited the example of Punggol South, where green, open spaces and recreational facilities are integrated into the estate.
Punggol was planned based on smaller estates that consist between 1,000 and 3,000 dwelling units. But I think can squeeze 10,000 there.
The common green, can do away, follow Hongkie style. Penang Laksa said Peasantpore's future will be a concrete jungle but he does not care since Ruler Loong focused on profits at peasants' expense.
"Peasantpore has more parks than Hongki-land. It is painful for the Ruler Loong if every peasant wants parks. If you can pay, you can stay near a park, if cannot, then shut up ok." he remarked.
Penang Laksa added the 6.9 million projected population is a confirmed scenario based on Ruler Loong's decree. Ruler Loong will get what he decrees...this goal will be reached.
But the Minion stressed with stupid auditors out of the way, it is safer to prepare enough land and infrastructure despite the possibility recessions may compound the property glut from time to time.
"KNNCCB, that stupid Marboro give too much respect to stupid auditors, after 1997, he becums a turtle and build so little birdcages that peasants whack him badly after the foreign serfs glut from 2000. He cock up, our peasant children will suffer but I live in a bungalow, do I care?
"Marboro pretend these challenges do not exist and he is sacked as a minion. So I not so stupid, now secured political power to shut the auditors up, hee hee but 6.9 million overcrowding, by then I retired with fat cat pensions. I'll migrate to Penang and leave the problem to stupid peasants to solve!" sneered Penang Laksa.
In the long term, Penang Laksa says peasans must follow dwarves and go underground, as long as Familee and their nobles can continue to afford bungalows.
Penang Laksa said he is chairing an lackey committee to Ruler Loong's latest decree to force local peasants to live underground.
Penang Khaw all forecasts and economic models are wrong but what the Local Peasant De-population White Lies seeks to do is create options for future generations of Familee if they choose to stay in Peasantpore.
Many lackey agencies are working to create such options for Familee, said the Minion.
For example, after the port facilities at Tanjong Pagar, Pulau Brani, Keppel and Pasir Panjang to Tuas are decanted, large tracts of waterfront land near the city will be freed up and sold to rich foreigners at handsome profits.
Penang Laksa said this will allow planners to create an International Settlement for rich Ang Mohs, Nihons, PRC Pandas and Indoland crooks. Yes, PRC Pandas will given free hand to drive their sports car to kill hapless local peasants for sport.
PEASANTPORE: Birdcage Minion Penang Laksa Khaw says a major shift in planning and development strategy to invest ahead of demand will ensure Peasantpore remains a liveable city for future generations of Familee, Kwas and other nobles.
He said it will be a costly strategy for local peasants but the regime will do its best not to allow local peasants to hijack the agenda and deny fat infrastructure contracts to be put on spot light.
He was speaking in Imperial Court on Wednesday as wayang debate continues on the De-Population of Local Peasants White Lies and Profitable Land Use Scam.
In the near term, the regime has promised enough million dollar Hongkie style birdcages for all as it award contracts for its housing programme to merchants doing their rounds in the RC.
200,000 birdcages will be built over the next four years, and beyond that, another 500,000.
"In 1996, Marboro Tan want to build many birdcages and sell to Hongkis, but lan lan got 1997 Financial Crisis, many birdcages vacant and auditors give Marboro a good grilling for his greed. Since then, he become a turtle and curtail birdcage construction. Then Bargain Hen sabo him and bring in hordes of foreigners and cock him up.
Now different liao, got so many foreigners and Ruler Loong giving full political support to shut the auditors up ..hee hee hee, my job easier liao. Now I can build many birdcages and sell them for fat cat profits to PRs and desperate local peasants. During recessions, birdcages vacant, I already retire liao with fat cat pensions lor. Hee hee...," sneered Penang Laksa.
Given the intensive building programme, the minion said he caught by surprise when opposition Labour Party's proposal to freeze the foreign serfs population immediately and for 8 years.
"KNNCCB, recently i admit i say got new building technology that require lesser PRCs and Banglas hor, but you know, i know that we need foreign serfs to fatten our merchants who pay taxes lah. So just pretend I never say got new pre-fab technologies ok, I still need hordes of foreign serfs," exclaimed Penang Laksa.
"Hee hee, now I just use this for politicking, I ask the Labour Party to please rethink their fuck up ideas and your approach, limit foreign serfs means slower birdcages. But its Marboro and Bargain Hen's cock ups that caused a housing crunch but somehow I managed to push the blame to Labour."
Penang Laksa Khaw reiterated that he will continue to use Quantum Mechanics to de-link the prices of new public Build-To-Order (BTO) birdcages from the resale market fiddle with the markets.
He cited last week's BTO launch as an example.
"Got lumpar netizens now laughing at my 'de-link' theory. If you go KTV lounges, can use this analogy. Every KTV lounge is unique, with some local differences, some charge $50 for rubba, others may charge more like $60. But by and large, at KTV lounges, prices are stable unless you go to top end ones. Likewise our BTO prices steady, still sky high and profitable for us. So what the resale prices had risen, my profits is all that matters. Similar observations can be made in other non-mature estates," said Penang Laksa Khaw.
"Even if I talk cock, I will continue this pricing practice and claim my 'de-link' theory is correct because I studied Quantum Mechanics lor. Got cooling measures wayang only lah. We are never determined to tame the property market, especially the HDB resale market. With sky high prices, we got profits mah...property so easy to make money when you have political power," he remarked happily.
Penang cited the example of Punggol South, where green, open spaces and recreational facilities are integrated into the estate.
Punggol was planned based on smaller estates that consist between 1,000 and 3,000 dwelling units. But I think can squeeze 10,000 there.
The common green, can do away, follow Hongkie style. Penang Laksa said Peasantpore's future will be a concrete jungle but he does not care since Ruler Loong focused on profits at peasants' expense.
"Peasantpore has more parks than Hongki-land. It is painful for the Ruler Loong if every peasant wants parks. If you can pay, you can stay near a park, if cannot, then shut up ok." he remarked.
Penang Laksa added the 6.9 million projected population is a confirmed scenario based on Ruler Loong's decree. Ruler Loong will get what he decrees...this goal will be reached.
But the Minion stressed with stupid auditors out of the way, it is safer to prepare enough land and infrastructure despite the possibility recessions may compound the property glut from time to time.
"KNNCCB, that stupid Marboro give too much respect to stupid auditors, after 1997, he becums a turtle and build so little birdcages that peasants whack him badly after the foreign serfs glut from 2000. He cock up, our peasant children will suffer but I live in a bungalow, do I care?
"Marboro pretend these challenges do not exist and he is sacked as a minion. So I not so stupid, now secured political power to shut the auditors up, hee hee but 6.9 million overcrowding, by then I retired with fat cat pensions. I'll migrate to Penang and leave the problem to stupid peasants to solve!" sneered Penang Laksa.
In the long term, Penang Laksa says peasans must follow dwarves and go underground, as long as Familee and their nobles can continue to afford bungalows.
Penang Laksa said he is chairing an lackey committee to Ruler Loong's latest decree to force local peasants to live underground.
Penang Khaw all forecasts and economic models are wrong but what the Local Peasant De-population White Lies seeks to do is create options for future generations of Familee if they choose to stay in Peasantpore.
Many lackey agencies are working to create such options for Familee, said the Minion.
For example, after the port facilities at Tanjong Pagar, Pulau Brani, Keppel and Pasir Panjang to Tuas are decanted, large tracts of waterfront land near the city will be freed up and sold to rich foreigners at handsome profits.
Penang Laksa said this will allow planners to create an International Settlement for rich Ang Mohs, Nihons, PRC Pandas and Indoland crooks. Yes, PRC Pandas will given free hand to drive their sports car to kill hapless local peasants for sport.
