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PAP David Ong and a short lesson on how to be a Tua Pau Xian


When I wrote this TPX story to emulate my idol, I had no idea it was because of an affair let alone who the woman is. So here are some tips on how to write a TPX story.


First and foremost, always act important. People calling to update you, you have "inside tracks", you are able to pick up the phone to check with your imaginary "sources" pacing up and down the corridors of power as they converse with and update you, etc. Then, throw in a bit of info that is common knowledge for what is called the "introductory funneling effect".


When I received a phone call informing me of this development, I was puzzled. David Ong has only been an MP for 5 years since 2011 when he stood on a GRC ticket in Jurong with Tharman. So, I decided to pick up the phone to do some checking. Here is the inside track.

Next and this is extremely important, add the clause below or variations of it to try to bully into silence and shut the mouths of the usual doubters and assholes who constantly ask for "evidence" before they can accept what you write as gospel truth. I call it the "pre-emptive insult".


(I do however acknowledge and accept that many in this forum will treat this as speculation, gossip and conjecture unless it is officially published in the Toa Payoh Brothel press and tangible evidence presented directly at their doorstep).

Next step, put out a short story mixing facts that are widely known and available and fiction that is based on educated guesses. In this case, it's not too difficult. More than likely, it is an affair. Put out what writers call the "superfluous, useless and concrete" details ("almost a year", "plump", "middle-age", matrimonial", "mahjong session") which when combined with readily available facts, will create an illusion of reality in your story.


David Ong has been in an extramarital affair for almost a year. He was seeing this woman even during the period when he was contesting the Bukit Batok seat last year in September 2015. He was caught literally with his pants down about two weeks ago when his wife returned home early from a mahjong session and was horrified to see him humping a plump, middle-aged Chinese lady on, off all places, their matrimonial bed. I will not reveal the identity of the woman as we know the Toa Payoh Brothel press will be combing through this forum to get the details and scoops.

Next, put out more "concrete" details based on some generic guesstimates. Read the example below carefully and you will notice that my bullshit description of the woman is a fairly generic one that can fit most women that men would like to screw on the side.

All I will reveal is that she is not too bad looking, has nice round eyes, porcelain smooth skin although she’s a little on the “meaty” side.

If you get it wrong and forummers point out that the woman is, contrary to what you say, butt ugly, has small eyes, is pimply and slim, just say the photos do not do her justice, that she is really not bad looking in person, her small eyes may be due to lack of sleep, that she used to have better skin, be fatter, etc. Don't worry. There's always a way out.

To be continued....
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Next, introduce a link to a new angle or what you would really like to talk about. Use the techniques taught earlier for this part of your TPX story. Namedrop to add "importance" to your story. Use someone important and well known, don't quote an unknown "Tan Ah Kow". Remember you want to be seen as having insider tracks with important people, not with hawkers and taxi drivers which will affect the credibility of your nick. In this case, I have used Teo Chee Hean as my "namedrop" as he is a Minister and has spoken out before on the Palmer affair.


Now, here’s the interesting bit. I spoke with a few contacts and as I suspected, it is no coincidence that Chee has made his appearance recently in the media. My contact informed me that there was a leak about Ong’s impending resignation about ten days ago after the wife visited Teo Chee Hean to complain about his affair. When Chee got wind of the leak, he saw the opportunity that it would represent. He immediately contacted a close friend of Felicia and requested her to quietly suggest to Felicia that perhaps, she could meet up with him so that he could help her in her fight with Mindef. My original suspicion that Chee was using the family as nothing more than mere pawns for his own agenda has now been confirmed.

After making this link, use the "divide and conquer strategy" and whack and disparage the person you want to whack and disparage to help relieve all the years of built up tension in your testicles. For those PAP IB, don't forget, the payment of your IB allowance is conditioned on this. In this case, I have introduced WP and chosen to disparage SDP Chee as he will be the one standing against the PAP in this by-election. (The years of tension in my balls have dissipated and my balls feel so light now).


Let’s hope that the WP contests in this by-election. Singaporeans are not dumb and know Chee very well. This career champagne socialist will get screwed if he decides to stand. His only accomplishment in his political life, if you can call it that, is that he made use of other people to get what he wants, which is attention and international recognition. All he will do is grandstand before the whole world, get foreigners involved and the excellent opportunity to deny the PAP a win in the by-election in Bukit Batok SMC would be lost.

Finally, use all your clones to agree with you, suck up to you, support your stand, applaud your revelations, ask trivial questions, disagree once in while for the "reality effect", etc. This will help bump up the thread and keep it on the first page for maximum viewership.

There you have it. A short lesson on how to be a Tua Pau Xian.
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When Wendy met David

Wendy is waiting for me to come out of the shower

I step out of the shower, water dripping off of my body and she does not look up. She is just staying there, waiting for me to make the next move or give her some form of direction.

“open your mouth”

I walk up to her and stand almost above her and I tell her:

“you’re going to take your time to suck my balls into your mouth and work my asshole with your tongue while I watch my cock grow and then I’ll jerk off while you look up at me”

Her eyes are closed at first as her mouth opens as she feels me walk up to her, I slowly lower my balls into her mouth and watch her and she slowly jungles them around, glistening them with her saliva as I hold my cock and watch it grow.

Once my cock is so hard that that it stands alone above her face, I slowly begin to work the tip as her big beautiful eyes open and watch me teasing my cock. All the while, she remains on her knees with her hands behind her back.

I tell her to play with my ass and her one hand grips my ass and she pulls me in to take both my balls into her mouth, I moan out load and right then, I can feel her finger trying to find my asshole.

My ass tightens up as she forces to keep her finger rubbing my asshole and I begin to stroke my cock hard and fast.

The build up was immediate but I couldn’t cum then, there was so much more I wanted to do.
Just before I came, I step back and grab her under her arm and she stands up and follows as I quickly
push Wendy; face down on the bed with and I begin to tie her arms behind her back with my belt.

She says nothing.

I proceed to spread her legs apart and use a couple of my ties to tie her ankles to the bed posts.

Still she says nothing.

I cover her face with a pillowcase so that she would not see or predict what I was going to do next.

Only then, did she speak under her breath and say: “David I’ve waiting so long for you to do this to me”

All I could do at this point was take a step back and admire this woman tied to my bed, it was like a work of art.

I wait there for a few minutes, making her wonder what was going on and when I felt she waiting long enough, I lowered my head between her legs, getting closer and closer to her wet swollen pussy and in one motion, lick her clit to her asshole and stopped! Her reaction was intense.

She immediately buckled and arched her ass and swayed her hips as I listened to her beg: “David please more!!”


My original TPX story was generally "spot on" simply because I did nothing more than repeat facts that are readily and widely available. Combined with guesses and name-droppings, it made the bullshit I wrote highly plausible if not believable. However, as news continue to emerge, some smartarsed forummers may point out that I got this part wrong, i.e. that it was the husband of Wendy and not the wife of David who I had claimed was the one who raised the complaint.

My contact informed me that there was a leak about Ong’s impending resignation about ten days ago after the wife visited Teo Chee Hean to complain about his affair.

When exposed, a weak TPX writer with some conscience will likely feel embarrassed and will crawl away in shame. That's simply Darwinian's way of culling out the weak TPX writers from the strong ones. Good TPX writers like me and great ones like my idol are not simply going to fold and crawl away in shame when exposed.

So, how does a strong Tua Pau Xian writer deal with such "exposures"? Easy peasy! As I have stated before, don't worry. There's always a way out. So here again, are some tips.

Firstly, it is important to note that if no one points this out, just act blur and let it pass. If it does get pointed out by an asshole, just let out another TPX story such as:

What the media failed to report was that Lee Hsien Loong ordered a media blackout about Ong's wife approaching TCH. My contacts informed me that TCH had approached Lee Hsien Loong in his office last Monday to inform him of DO’s wife's complaint. TCH added that he did not want to hold a press conference like the one he did on 12 December 2012 to announce Palmer's resignation from the Party and Parliament. In conversations with his close confidante and associates, TCH had expressed his frustration that his share of the votes, unlike his colleagues, had slid in the September 2015 election. He strongly believes that this was because voters had associated him with Palmer's extramarital affair through that fateful December press conference and felt that his position as DPM is currrently under threat because of this.

Lastly, don't forget the extremely important "pre-emptive insult". This can be delivered before or after the TPX story. In this case, I have decided to put it after my story. So here goes:

I looked at the threads on David Ong and I see enough idiots who have no clue about what is actually going on but focusing on issues of Ong's affair instead of the jostling for power and the current factional fighting taking place within the PAP. DO's affair is inconsequential. He was nothing more than a casualty of these fights between factions. That's the reason why his affair was revealed by the PAP unlike being settled behind closed doors like many others. Talk about missing the forest for the trees.

That's it. The job's done. Feel your balls lightening up as you click on "Submit Reply". Then, give yourself another pat on the back for writing yet again, another great TPX story and for putting those doubters and smartarses in their place.

PS: If some assholes have yet to learn their lesson and choose to point out (unlikely as most people don't bother to check the details if you are a great TPX writer) that contrary to what you stated, TCH’s share did not slide but had instead climbed from 64.79% (2011 GE) to 72.89% (2015 GE), never fear. As I have said, there is always a way out. If you are a truly great TPX writer like my idol, you will feel the rush of adrenalin surging through your balls once again as you prepare to write, yet again, another great TPX story to retort these assholes.


Moderators should consider putting this thread on the Sticky.

This is a MUST READ thread for all members.