Transmodified from hxxp://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/1243367/1/.html
PEASANTPORE: A 40-year-old peasant, probably well connected, usually X'tian, has been fined 7,500 peanuts and banned from driving for 42 full moons for causing the death of an elderly, non-descript pedestrian peasant.
Peasant David Chang, the Heartless, adding salt to injury, was fined a further 4,000 peanuts for causing grievous injury to the dead peasant's wife. So in this case, the old peasants suffer death and injury but Ruler Loong's treasury gets a small windfall.
On 22 January this year at about noon, baboon Chang was driving along Telok Blangah Road towards Pasir Panjang when his car mowed down the elderly couple. The rascal Chang had claimed he shut his eyes for three seconds while driving because of fatigue and somehow the old peasants got into his car's way.
Before the accident, the Baboon Chang had been gambling at Resorts World Sentosa casino for 15 hours, hinting he has some $$ and will probably flex his connections to get himself out of the rap.
Baboon Chang claimed he dozed off at the wheels for 3 seconds and his car veered to the left of the road and into the bus bay. Pagan peasants, Mdm Ler Sock Hua, 70 and her husband, Yeo Ah Bah, 73 were standing at the bus stop, waiting to cross the road were senselessly mowed down by Baboon Chang. The silly collision killed Peasant Yeo and seriously injured Mdm Ler but of course, the fines goes to the treasury. This proves Ruler Loong's doctrine 'peasants die, their problem'.
Assistant Legal Lackey Prosecutor Jamunah, who sold its conscience for a fee, merely urged for a small fine and a short driving ban, saying Baboon Chang understandly closed his eyes due to a lack of sleep and hinted the old peasants are at fault for not avoiding Baboon Chang's car. She said the unfortunate accident happened along a straight road and at a place where peasant pedestrians are expected and they should use their Kung Fu moves to leap away safety.
Baboon Chang's lawyer said in mitigation that the two charges arose out of the same incident and that his client has been "severely traumatised" and would have sue the peasants for the nightmares after the accident. In addition, Baboon Chang is likely to join another charismatic church, following Lecher Neo and Goondu Chew Chor Meng, to TCSS how the Jewish deity made a difference in their sick lives.
The lawyer also stressed that Baboon Chang had rendered procedural assistance to the elderly peasant couple after the accident and had pleaded guilty at the first instance knowing his connections will secure a face saving fine and short-term driving ban.
District Kangaroo Judge Wong Ah Ning applied the 'Big Balls Theorem' and instructed the Traffic Poodles to dig deeply into Baboon Chang's background lest they offend some big shoots, citing Woffles Wu as a fine example.
After acertaining that Baboon Chang has some merit in his backing, the Kangaroo Judge gleefully describes the incident as "a tragic Greek tragedy", she use a famous Quantum Mechanics theory and claimed "when we look back, using Uncertainity Principle, we cannot be sure whether Baboon Chang could have avoided or missed the peasants. Through the reality is one peasant is dead and another injury, it is impossible to squarely pin the blame on Baboon Chang because you can acertain his position and momentum at the same time of the accident right? Remember former Cheap Justice Chan also apply Quantum Mechanics when he say its not okay to be within polling stations but ok to be inside polling stations."
But the Kangaroo Judge also agreed with the prosecution that the case falls in the non-custodial category, since one dead old peasant donated his medisave to the state coffers, the regime is disposed towards a lenient treatment for Baboon Chang, not forgetting his connections and taxes to state coffers thanks to his 15 hours gambling spree.
Finally the kangaroo judge hinted the old peasants were at the wrong place at the wrong time and must resigned to the 'Act of God' and endure the unendurable (Butcher Hirohito's famous phrase). Of course, wise peasants understand if Baboon Chang has the gall to mow down Ruler Loong's kin, he will probably be hung by his testicles and made to sing National Anthem to the Bed Bugs 5 times a day till kingdom cums.
PEASANTPORE: A 40-year-old peasant, probably well connected, usually X'tian, has been fined 7,500 peanuts and banned from driving for 42 full moons for causing the death of an elderly, non-descript pedestrian peasant.
Peasant David Chang, the Heartless, adding salt to injury, was fined a further 4,000 peanuts for causing grievous injury to the dead peasant's wife. So in this case, the old peasants suffer death and injury but Ruler Loong's treasury gets a small windfall.
On 22 January this year at about noon, baboon Chang was driving along Telok Blangah Road towards Pasir Panjang when his car mowed down the elderly couple. The rascal Chang had claimed he shut his eyes for three seconds while driving because of fatigue and somehow the old peasants got into his car's way.
Before the accident, the Baboon Chang had been gambling at Resorts World Sentosa casino for 15 hours, hinting he has some $$ and will probably flex his connections to get himself out of the rap.
Baboon Chang claimed he dozed off at the wheels for 3 seconds and his car veered to the left of the road and into the bus bay. Pagan peasants, Mdm Ler Sock Hua, 70 and her husband, Yeo Ah Bah, 73 were standing at the bus stop, waiting to cross the road were senselessly mowed down by Baboon Chang. The silly collision killed Peasant Yeo and seriously injured Mdm Ler but of course, the fines goes to the treasury. This proves Ruler Loong's doctrine 'peasants die, their problem'.
Assistant Legal Lackey Prosecutor Jamunah, who sold its conscience for a fee, merely urged for a small fine and a short driving ban, saying Baboon Chang understandly closed his eyes due to a lack of sleep and hinted the old peasants are at fault for not avoiding Baboon Chang's car. She said the unfortunate accident happened along a straight road and at a place where peasant pedestrians are expected and they should use their Kung Fu moves to leap away safety.
Baboon Chang's lawyer said in mitigation that the two charges arose out of the same incident and that his client has been "severely traumatised" and would have sue the peasants for the nightmares after the accident. In addition, Baboon Chang is likely to join another charismatic church, following Lecher Neo and Goondu Chew Chor Meng, to TCSS how the Jewish deity made a difference in their sick lives.
The lawyer also stressed that Baboon Chang had rendered procedural assistance to the elderly peasant couple after the accident and had pleaded guilty at the first instance knowing his connections will secure a face saving fine and short-term driving ban.
District Kangaroo Judge Wong Ah Ning applied the 'Big Balls Theorem' and instructed the Traffic Poodles to dig deeply into Baboon Chang's background lest they offend some big shoots, citing Woffles Wu as a fine example.
After acertaining that Baboon Chang has some merit in his backing, the Kangaroo Judge gleefully describes the incident as "a tragic Greek tragedy", she use a famous Quantum Mechanics theory and claimed "when we look back, using Uncertainity Principle, we cannot be sure whether Baboon Chang could have avoided or missed the peasants. Through the reality is one peasant is dead and another injury, it is impossible to squarely pin the blame on Baboon Chang because you can acertain his position and momentum at the same time of the accident right? Remember former Cheap Justice Chan also apply Quantum Mechanics when he say its not okay to be within polling stations but ok to be inside polling stations."
But the Kangaroo Judge also agreed with the prosecution that the case falls in the non-custodial category, since one dead old peasant donated his medisave to the state coffers, the regime is disposed towards a lenient treatment for Baboon Chang, not forgetting his connections and taxes to state coffers thanks to his 15 hours gambling spree.
Finally the kangaroo judge hinted the old peasants were at the wrong place at the wrong time and must resigned to the 'Act of God' and endure the unendurable (Butcher Hirohito's famous phrase). Of course, wise peasants understand if Baboon Chang has the gall to mow down Ruler Loong's kin, he will probably be hung by his testicles and made to sing National Anthem to the Bed Bugs 5 times a day till kingdom cums.
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