Soon after undergraduate Nicholas Lim took a video of someone in the hostel shower on his phone, he confessed the act to his girlfriend. The girlfriend was also on her phone: She had received a message that there was a Peeping Tom on the university campus. Together, they met Ms Monica Baey so he could own up and apologise.
"I wanted to confess it was me," Mr Lim, 23, a chemical engineering student at the National University of Singapore (NUS), told The Straits Times.
Asked if he did so only out of fear that he would be caught as a result of his image being captured by surveillance cameras, he said no. "I did something wrong. I wasn't planning to hide from it, to run."
In his first media interview, the man at the centre of a high-profile sexual misconduct case that has prompted widespread discussion about how such incidents are handled on university campuses said, when asked how the past week had been for him: "I don't think I am a victim. I'm the perpetrator. I did what I did. My point is not to justify my action. Not to say I was drunk. Drunk or not, it should never have happened."
At turns emotional, Mr Lim, who was accompanied by a male friend at the interview at a coffee joint at Leisure Park Kallang, said that he is now going public because he wanted people to know "how truly sorry I am".
He broke down twice - burying his head in his arms, his voice trembling - especially when talking about the impact the saga has had on his parents. At one point, his friend patted his arm.
Last Thursday, Ms Baey posted on social media about the incident which took place last November, and her anguish about the lack of steps taken to penalise Mr Lim. He did not know how to react after reading it, he said.
"I was worried, scared. Then came the media coverage. Everyone was posting online." It was then that he told his parents about the incident which happened.
The following morning, his 83-year-old grandmother died from a heart attack. It was not from the incident, he clarified.
But it was painful seeing how much hurt he has caused his parents who, at the same time, had to prepare for his grandmother's wake. "My parents were very worried and kept asking if I was okay. As a son, the last thing I want is for them to be so worried about me at their age, when I should be the one taking care of them," said Mr Lim, the only son of a taxi driver, 69, and a housewife, 59.
"They now have to bear this uncertainty with me," he said, referring to his future.
Mr Lim had joined insurer Great Eastern Singapore as a financial adviser last year while still a student. The company suspended him on Monday, and he later submitted his resignation.
"My dad is a taxi driver and he works very hard. I can tell he is worried sick," said Mr Lim. "There were definitely moments where I felt I could no longer hold it together, but I was lucky to have the support and encouragement of my family, friends and even strangers who have kept me going.
"They were angry at what I did. They were also willing to let me redeem myself - had the faith and belief in the person that I am, to be able to learn from my mistake and become a better person."
More at https://tinyurI.com/yynh7hgx
"I wanted to confess it was me," Mr Lim, 23, a chemical engineering student at the National University of Singapore (NUS), told The Straits Times.
Asked if he did so only out of fear that he would be caught as a result of his image being captured by surveillance cameras, he said no. "I did something wrong. I wasn't planning to hide from it, to run."
In his first media interview, the man at the centre of a high-profile sexual misconduct case that has prompted widespread discussion about how such incidents are handled on university campuses said, when asked how the past week had been for him: "I don't think I am a victim. I'm the perpetrator. I did what I did. My point is not to justify my action. Not to say I was drunk. Drunk or not, it should never have happened."
At turns emotional, Mr Lim, who was accompanied by a male friend at the interview at a coffee joint at Leisure Park Kallang, said that he is now going public because he wanted people to know "how truly sorry I am".
He broke down twice - burying his head in his arms, his voice trembling - especially when talking about the impact the saga has had on his parents. At one point, his friend patted his arm.
Last Thursday, Ms Baey posted on social media about the incident which took place last November, and her anguish about the lack of steps taken to penalise Mr Lim. He did not know how to react after reading it, he said.
"I was worried, scared. Then came the media coverage. Everyone was posting online." It was then that he told his parents about the incident which happened.
The following morning, his 83-year-old grandmother died from a heart attack. It was not from the incident, he clarified.
But it was painful seeing how much hurt he has caused his parents who, at the same time, had to prepare for his grandmother's wake. "My parents were very worried and kept asking if I was okay. As a son, the last thing I want is for them to be so worried about me at their age, when I should be the one taking care of them," said Mr Lim, the only son of a taxi driver, 69, and a housewife, 59.
"They now have to bear this uncertainty with me," he said, referring to his future.
Mr Lim had joined insurer Great Eastern Singapore as a financial adviser last year while still a student. The company suspended him on Monday, and he later submitted his resignation.
"My dad is a taxi driver and he works very hard. I can tell he is worried sick," said Mr Lim. "There were definitely moments where I felt I could no longer hold it together, but I was lucky to have the support and encouragement of my family, friends and even strangers who have kept me going.
"They were angry at what I did. They were also willing to let me redeem myself - had the faith and belief in the person that I am, to be able to learn from my mistake and become a better person."
More at https://tinyurI.com/yynh7hgx
