http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/news/story/0,4136,195415,00.html?
More foreign brides suffering in SILENCE
Husband abused her verbally & sexually, but she didn't leave him because she is a foreigner
By Genevieve Jiang
March 12, 2009
HER nightmare began the day she got married.
Her husband constantly taunted her with obscene names and accused her of having affairs with other men.
Often, he forced her to perform sexual acts, even while their young daughter was crying for attention in the next room.
But for years, Rani, 40, put up with it. The reason: She had no one to turn to as she was a foreign bride.
Rani (not her real name) had married her Singaporean husband in India. Their marriage was arranged.
When her husband died two years ago of diabetes, she found herself in a bind. With a daughter to care for, she was unable to get subsidised housing or find work because she was a foreigner.
She is among an increasing number of foreign brides who suffer in silence despite difficult marriages, and end up in tough situations when their husbands leave them, say social workers here.
HELPING HAND: Assistant senior social worker Subha Rajaiya helped Rani get financial aid. TNP PICTURES: JONATHAN CHOO
Rani agreed to share her story on condition of anonymity, to protect her 9-year-old daughter.
She came to Singapore in 1997. She was then 28, and her husband, 42.
She told The New Paper through an interpreter: 'On the wedding day in India, my husband refused to go through the ceremony because he said that the dowry wasn't enough.
'My friends and relatives chipped in on the spot so that the wedding could proceed.'
Back in Singapore, she not only had to put up with his drinking and gambling, she was subject to constant verbal abuse.
He taunted her with explicit sexual questions, and often forced her to perform obscene acts.
When she tried to resist, he would threaten to set their three-room flat on fire, she claimed.
Countless times, he raped her.
Said Rani: 'I confided in my mother back in India, but she told me that it was best to put up with it, as it was my fate, and for my child, I had to just push on.'
Things got worse for the family in 2002 when Rani's husband quit his job as a pest controller. He was then earning about $2,700 a month.
After that, he didn't try to look for a job, but survived on savings and by borrowing from friends and neighbours.
He continued to drink and gamble.
The family fell into big debt, and often, they would find themselves in the dark when their electricity supply was cut.
Rani, who was then on a social visit pass, begged him to help apply for permanent residency (PR) for her so that she could work, but he didn't.
To survive, she tried to hide whatever money she managed to borrow, so that he would not gamble it away.
They also rented out a room for about $300 a month.
For more than two months in 2004, they lived without electricity because they owed more than $1,800 in utility bills.
In late 2005, a neighbour who knew about the family's plight advised them to seek help at the nearby Tanjong Pagar Family Service Centre (FSC).
Social workers there helped the family with $300 a month for about a year and monthly food rations.
They also helped apply for free medical treatment for Rani's husband and child. Her husband was then seeking treatment for diabetes.
Rani did not qualify as she was a foreigner. She would not see a doctor whenever she was ill, choosing instead to self-medicate.
Said Ms Subha Rajaiya, assistant senior social worker at the Tanjong Pagar FSC: 'Providing the family with financial help was tricky. We could not apply for help under Rani's name because she was a foreigner. But transferring the money into the husband's bank account meant that he would gamble it away.'
Ms Subha worked with social workers from the Central Community Development Council (CDC) to arrange for Rani to collect the financial help in cash every month instead.
Eventually, they arranged for Rani to open a joint account with her daughter - a Singaporean - so that the money could be transferred directly to her.
Sold flat
At the end of 2006, they sold their three-room flat to pay-off their debt and moved into a rental flat.
In March 2007, Rani's husband died. He was 54.
Said Rani: 'I was worried because if I couldn't find employment by the time my social visit pass expired at the end of that year, I would have to go home.'
Although she was in need, as a foreigner she did not qualify to rent a subsidised HDB flat.
She continued renting rooms for more than $200 a month, and surviving on financial help from the CDC.
She has had to move at least six times whenever her landlord raised the rent.
In late 2007, social workers from the FSC managed to find her a job as a cleaner earning about $600 a month.
Ms Subha has since been appealing to the authorities to grant Rani PR status. Last June, her application was approved on compassionate grounds.
Said Ms Subha: 'The inability to meet the rules of the HDB makes it hard for these foreign brides to find a home.
'This is why some of them decide to stay in abusive marriages.'
More foreign brides suffering in SILENCE
Husband abused her verbally & sexually, but she didn't leave him because she is a foreigner
By Genevieve Jiang
March 12, 2009
HER nightmare began the day she got married.
Her husband constantly taunted her with obscene names and accused her of having affairs with other men.
Often, he forced her to perform sexual acts, even while their young daughter was crying for attention in the next room.
But for years, Rani, 40, put up with it. The reason: She had no one to turn to as she was a foreign bride.
Rani (not her real name) had married her Singaporean husband in India. Their marriage was arranged.
When her husband died two years ago of diabetes, she found herself in a bind. With a daughter to care for, she was unable to get subsidised housing or find work because she was a foreigner.
She is among an increasing number of foreign brides who suffer in silence despite difficult marriages, and end up in tough situations when their husbands leave them, say social workers here.
HELPING HAND: Assistant senior social worker Subha Rajaiya helped Rani get financial aid. TNP PICTURES: JONATHAN CHOO
Rani agreed to share her story on condition of anonymity, to protect her 9-year-old daughter.
She came to Singapore in 1997. She was then 28, and her husband, 42.
She told The New Paper through an interpreter: 'On the wedding day in India, my husband refused to go through the ceremony because he said that the dowry wasn't enough.
'My friends and relatives chipped in on the spot so that the wedding could proceed.'
Back in Singapore, she not only had to put up with his drinking and gambling, she was subject to constant verbal abuse.
He taunted her with explicit sexual questions, and often forced her to perform obscene acts.
When she tried to resist, he would threaten to set their three-room flat on fire, she claimed.
Countless times, he raped her.
Said Rani: 'I confided in my mother back in India, but she told me that it was best to put up with it, as it was my fate, and for my child, I had to just push on.'
Things got worse for the family in 2002 when Rani's husband quit his job as a pest controller. He was then earning about $2,700 a month.
After that, he didn't try to look for a job, but survived on savings and by borrowing from friends and neighbours.
He continued to drink and gamble.
The family fell into big debt, and often, they would find themselves in the dark when their electricity supply was cut.
Rani, who was then on a social visit pass, begged him to help apply for permanent residency (PR) for her so that she could work, but he didn't.
To survive, she tried to hide whatever money she managed to borrow, so that he would not gamble it away.
They also rented out a room for about $300 a month.
For more than two months in 2004, they lived without electricity because they owed more than $1,800 in utility bills.
In late 2005, a neighbour who knew about the family's plight advised them to seek help at the nearby Tanjong Pagar Family Service Centre (FSC).
Social workers there helped the family with $300 a month for about a year and monthly food rations.
They also helped apply for free medical treatment for Rani's husband and child. Her husband was then seeking treatment for diabetes.
Rani did not qualify as she was a foreigner. She would not see a doctor whenever she was ill, choosing instead to self-medicate.
Said Ms Subha Rajaiya, assistant senior social worker at the Tanjong Pagar FSC: 'Providing the family with financial help was tricky. We could not apply for help under Rani's name because she was a foreigner. But transferring the money into the husband's bank account meant that he would gamble it away.'
Ms Subha worked with social workers from the Central Community Development Council (CDC) to arrange for Rani to collect the financial help in cash every month instead.
Eventually, they arranged for Rani to open a joint account with her daughter - a Singaporean - so that the money could be transferred directly to her.
Sold flat
At the end of 2006, they sold their three-room flat to pay-off their debt and moved into a rental flat.
In March 2007, Rani's husband died. He was 54.
Said Rani: 'I was worried because if I couldn't find employment by the time my social visit pass expired at the end of that year, I would have to go home.'
Although she was in need, as a foreigner she did not qualify to rent a subsidised HDB flat.
She continued renting rooms for more than $200 a month, and surviving on financial help from the CDC.
She has had to move at least six times whenever her landlord raised the rent.
In late 2007, social workers from the FSC managed to find her a job as a cleaner earning about $600 a month.
Ms Subha has since been appealing to the authorities to grant Rani PR status. Last June, her application was approved on compassionate grounds.
Said Ms Subha: 'The inability to meet the rules of the HDB makes it hard for these foreign brides to find a home.
'This is why some of them decide to stay in abusive marriages.'
