MM dies and was thrown into Hell
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Satan kicked MM out of hell because he started stirring up racial tension in hell trying to coup Satan. Then MM floated around the void between heaven and hell, where there were many wandering souls neither here nor there. When they saw MM, they decided to take up Jesus' offer for them to go to hell.
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in Hell MM met hitler, Stalin and pot pot. They were arguing on who was the most evil during their life on earth.
hitler says "I killed 1 million Jews"
pot pot counters, "I killed 2 millions Cambodians"
laughing at both of them, Stalin says "I killed 10 million Russians hahaha"
just then MM interrupts "I didn't kill anyone, but I made 3 millions peoples begging to die"
hitler says "I killed 1 million Jews"
pot pot counters, "I killed 2 millions Cambodians"
laughing at both of them, Stalin says "I killed 10 million Russians hahaha"
just then MM interrupts "I didn't kill anyone, but I made 3 millions peoples begging to die"
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the serpent wanted to recruit some old male sex slaves, so he went to mm and says "I am letting you go for reincarnation, drink this forget soup first". delighted, mm scoop up a spoonful of the soup and without warning push it right into the throat of the serpent and laugh "you go and reincarnate yourself, I will rule hell from now on "
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Lee Kuan Yew went to Heaven, together with Roosevelt and Churchill. God urged them to explain why they deserve a place in heaven.
Roosevelt explained "I pulled Americans out of the Great Depression with my policies and hence, saved many Americans from being homeless or starved."
God replied "Very well, you may sit on the throne that is on my right."
Churchill commented "I may have left the British colonies to perish, but I had to do it to save my British people from the evil claws of Hitler. I feel it is a necessary evil."
God replied "While you might have neglected your colonies, your point about saving your own people first is what I like. Come and sit on the throne that is on my left."
And God asked, "And what do you have to say, Kuan Yew?"
Kuan Yew replied "Why are you still sitting at my throne? Get out! This throne is mine in the beginning!"
Roosevelt explained "I pulled Americans out of the Great Depression with my policies and hence, saved many Americans from being homeless or starved."
God replied "Very well, you may sit on the throne that is on my right."
Churchill commented "I may have left the British colonies to perish, but I had to do it to save my British people from the evil claws of Hitler. I feel it is a necessary evil."
God replied "While you might have neglected your colonies, your point about saving your own people first is what I like. Come and sit on the throne that is on my left."
And God asked, "And what do you have to say, Kuan Yew?"
Kuan Yew replied "Why are you still sitting at my throne? Get out! This throne is mine in the beginning!"
Dr Mahathir and MM Lee Kuan Yew, after spenting their whole life bickering of who is right and wrong, decided to make a bet to end it all.
The deal is to see who has the longest life on earth.
The loser will have to take back his words and apologise to the other party wholeheartedly after both have gone to heaven.
Finally, in the year 20XX, Dr M passed on and went to heaven.
MM who is still kicking alive, is cheering at his success for outliving Dr M.
In Year 20XX + 5, MM who has achieved his greatest dream of defeating Dr M, finally give up his ghost and went smiling happily to heaven.
And sure enough, he met Dr M in heaven.
MM blurted:" Now you fool, I have won and it is time for you to apologise wholeheartedly and repent on what you have said."
To his surprise, Dr M was all smiles and treated MM like his long lost good friend.
Dr M: "My dear pal, I am very happy to see you again. Let's forget all our past feuds and we shall become brothers in the land of Allah."
MM was overwhelmed by Dr M friendliness and was totally caught off guard.
He just brushed him aside and distant himself from him.
After a few hours, it's dinner time in heaven and they met once again.
MM, who has a sudden craving for pork ribs, sent the request to the waiter.
Dr M, who was sitting beside him, smiled sympathetically to MM and putting a hand on his shoulder, whispered: "My dear buddy, don't you know? All porks are banned in heaven. This is the HARD TRUTH."
The deal is to see who has the longest life on earth.
The loser will have to take back his words and apologise to the other party wholeheartedly after both have gone to heaven.
Finally, in the year 20XX, Dr M passed on and went to heaven.
MM who is still kicking alive, is cheering at his success for outliving Dr M.
In Year 20XX + 5, MM who has achieved his greatest dream of defeating Dr M, finally give up his ghost and went smiling happily to heaven.
And sure enough, he met Dr M in heaven.
MM blurted:" Now you fool, I have won and it is time for you to apologise wholeheartedly and repent on what you have said."
To his surprise, Dr M was all smiles and treated MM like his long lost good friend.
Dr M: "My dear pal, I am very happy to see you again. Let's forget all our past feuds and we shall become brothers in the land of Allah."
MM was overwhelmed by Dr M friendliness and was totally caught off guard.
He just brushed him aside and distant himself from him.
After a few hours, it's dinner time in heaven and they met once again.
MM, who has a sudden craving for pork ribs, sent the request to the waiter.
Dr M, who was sitting beside him, smiled sympathetically to MM and putting a hand on his shoulder, whispered: "My dear buddy, don't you know? All porks are banned in heaven. This is the HARD TRUTH."
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Re: MM dies and was thrown into HEAVEN
Three Idiots : Prataman, Marlboro Tan and LKY , were out riding in the car when it crashed into a big longkang. Before anyone knows it, the three Idiots found themselves standing before the Pearly Gates of Heaven, where Jade Emperor and the Devil were standing nearby.
"Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, therefore Jade Emperor has agreed to limit the number of Idiots entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don't know or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell."
Prataman then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates' teachings," With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. Prataman read it and concluded it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, Prataman disappeared.
MarlboroTan then asked, "Give me the most complicated formula you can ever think of!" With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared. MarlboroTan read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, MarlboroTan disappeared too.
LKY then stepped forward and said, "Bring me a chair!" The Devil brought forward a chair. "Drill 7 holes on the seat." The Devil did just that. LKY then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart. Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from?" The Devil inspected the seat and said, "The third hole from the right." Wrong," said LKY, "it's from my asshole !"
LKY went to Heaven. :o (shit!)
Three Idiots : Prataman, Marlboro Tan and LKY , were out riding in the car when it crashed into a big longkang. Before anyone knows it, the three Idiots found themselves standing before the Pearly Gates of Heaven, where Jade Emperor and the Devil were standing nearby.
"Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, therefore Jade Emperor has agreed to limit the number of Idiots entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don't know or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell."
Prataman then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates' teachings," With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. Prataman read it and concluded it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, Prataman disappeared.
MarlboroTan then asked, "Give me the most complicated formula you can ever think of!" With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared. MarlboroTan read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, MarlboroTan disappeared too.
LKY then stepped forward and said, "Bring me a chair!" The Devil brought forward a chair. "Drill 7 holes on the seat." The Devil did just that. LKY then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart. Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from?" The Devil inspected the seat and said, "The third hole from the right." Wrong," said LKY, "it's from my asshole !"
LKY went to Heaven. :o (shit!)
