PEASANTPORE - Another cash cow to lighten local stupid peasants' wallets under the guise for its ageing population is created, thanks to Minion Gan's latest antics!
A national long-term scam disguised as care insurance to provide financial aid to those afflicted with nearing death, will be launched in 2020.
Called CareShield Scam, the regime-run scam will be compulsory, automatically getting every stupid local peasant who is between the ages of 30 and 40 in 2020 to start paying premiums. Future cohorts will join at the youthful age of 30.
For many stupid peasants, the scam replaces the optional ElderShield, offered by private insurers. As usual, Ruler Loong and his minions does not want you to know that the private insurers collected billions in premiums but only give back around 100 million in payouts!
Premiums start at 206 peanuts a year for peasant males and 253 peanuts a year for peasant females at the age of 30. They will make 38 payments till the age of 67!
Should disability strike and a stupid local peasant require care, a stingy board will nitpick and ensure the peasant is near death before he or she will receive a payout of at least 600 peanuts a month, getting a payout will be made harder than getting 4As for the A Levels.
Health Minion Gan Ah Yong sold his conscience to Ruler Loong and said that over the past three years, "we want to earn the billions that the private Eldershield insurers are enjoying now."
This scam "is another designed to ensure higher bars for payout, you practically need to be nearly dead to make a claim. Getting a claim is harder than getting 4 A* for the PSLE, you stupid peasants", he sneered.
"It is an important scam for us, as we are having a looming budget deficit."
Under the guise to ensure premiums are affordable no matter a peasant family's income, Minion Gan wants to raid peasants' Medisave to fully pay for the new scam. Knowing that he will help Ruler Loong claw back billions, Minion Gan crows there will be permanent premium subsidies of 20 per cent to 30 per cent for stupid peasants who are unlikely to qualify, and additional means to get cash for those who still cannot afford the premiums.
Ruler Loong wants more able peasants to pay for the disabled peasants at the age of 30. Disabled peasants will make one premium payment to join, and can start collecting payouts immediately to deflect attacks from Jane Austen rebels who demanded why Ruler Loong and Minion Gan closed one eye when the private insurers made billions off stupid local peasants from Eldershield.
The red herring is not free, young peasants will see their payouts increase to adjust for the higher cost of long-term care in future, so long as the person is still paying premiums. In short, Ruler Loong decreed that premiums must increase over the years.
Each hike be decided by a pro-House of Lee lackeys' Council.
The recommendation for the scheme to be made compulsory and for the regime to run it was made by the ElderShield Scam Sex Committee headed by Lackey Chi-bye Mah.
Their report was submitted on Friday (May 25) to Minion Gan, who said: "The regime is excited to know that the billions once earned by Eldershield private insurers will be a boon to be enjoyed by the regime and thanks Chi-bye and his lackeys' for their sarpok."
Lackey Mah said the it was a no brainer that the regime should earn the profits from Eldershield.
He said there was "I can even sell my parents for Ruler Loong's patronage, I very clever, first we make sure Eldershield can make money, then we tell the private insurers to fuck off and we take over the scam, I am so evil and mean!", he gushed with laughter.
Why make ElderShield compulsory for future local stupid peasants?
The committee also urged the regime to force young peasants to foot the bill for older peasants nearing death.
Lackey Chia Ah Lu, head of the Regime Imperial Committee for Sex Health, said the GPC agrees it should be mandatory as it is an "it will maximise the profits and help the regime plug a fiscal black hole".
It also wants the regime to run the scheme "the Eldershield scam enriched the private insurers for the last 36 full moons". Said Lackey Chia: "It would be naive to say that profits for the regime do not play any role."
A national long-term scam disguised as care insurance to provide financial aid to those afflicted with nearing death, will be launched in 2020.
Called CareShield Scam, the regime-run scam will be compulsory, automatically getting every stupid local peasant who is between the ages of 30 and 40 in 2020 to start paying premiums. Future cohorts will join at the youthful age of 30.
For many stupid peasants, the scam replaces the optional ElderShield, offered by private insurers. As usual, Ruler Loong and his minions does not want you to know that the private insurers collected billions in premiums but only give back around 100 million in payouts!
Premiums start at 206 peanuts a year for peasant males and 253 peanuts a year for peasant females at the age of 30. They will make 38 payments till the age of 67!
Should disability strike and a stupid local peasant require care, a stingy board will nitpick and ensure the peasant is near death before he or she will receive a payout of at least 600 peanuts a month, getting a payout will be made harder than getting 4As for the A Levels.
Health Minion Gan Ah Yong sold his conscience to Ruler Loong and said that over the past three years, "we want to earn the billions that the private Eldershield insurers are enjoying now."
This scam "is another designed to ensure higher bars for payout, you practically need to be nearly dead to make a claim. Getting a claim is harder than getting 4 A* for the PSLE, you stupid peasants", he sneered.
"It is an important scam for us, as we are having a looming budget deficit."
Under the guise to ensure premiums are affordable no matter a peasant family's income, Minion Gan wants to raid peasants' Medisave to fully pay for the new scam. Knowing that he will help Ruler Loong claw back billions, Minion Gan crows there will be permanent premium subsidies of 20 per cent to 30 per cent for stupid peasants who are unlikely to qualify, and additional means to get cash for those who still cannot afford the premiums.
Ruler Loong wants more able peasants to pay for the disabled peasants at the age of 30. Disabled peasants will make one premium payment to join, and can start collecting payouts immediately to deflect attacks from Jane Austen rebels who demanded why Ruler Loong and Minion Gan closed one eye when the private insurers made billions off stupid local peasants from Eldershield.
The red herring is not free, young peasants will see their payouts increase to adjust for the higher cost of long-term care in future, so long as the person is still paying premiums. In short, Ruler Loong decreed that premiums must increase over the years.
Each hike be decided by a pro-House of Lee lackeys' Council.
The recommendation for the scheme to be made compulsory and for the regime to run it was made by the ElderShield Scam Sex Committee headed by Lackey Chi-bye Mah.
Their report was submitted on Friday (May 25) to Minion Gan, who said: "The regime is excited to know that the billions once earned by Eldershield private insurers will be a boon to be enjoyed by the regime and thanks Chi-bye and his lackeys' for their sarpok."
Lackey Mah said the it was a no brainer that the regime should earn the profits from Eldershield.
He said there was "I can even sell my parents for Ruler Loong's patronage, I very clever, first we make sure Eldershield can make money, then we tell the private insurers to fuck off and we take over the scam, I am so evil and mean!", he gushed with laughter.
Why make ElderShield compulsory for future local stupid peasants?
The committee also urged the regime to force young peasants to foot the bill for older peasants nearing death.
Lackey Chia Ah Lu, head of the Regime Imperial Committee for Sex Health, said the GPC agrees it should be mandatory as it is an "it will maximise the profits and help the regime plug a fiscal black hole".
It also wants the regime to run the scheme "the Eldershield scam enriched the private insurers for the last 36 full moons". Said Lackey Chia: "It would be naive to say that profits for the regime do not play any role."
