Serious [Medical] - Cancer : when to stop fighting death and allow yourself to let go

[UltimaOnline]

"When my grandfather found out he had cancer all he said was, "well, that explains it." He then listened to the doctor for about five minutes before he interupted and him and said straight faced if I do the treatments how long will I live. The doctor said there was no way of knowing but at least 6 months. My grandfather then asked him if he thought it made any sense to spend the last of his life fighting something that was going to kill him regardless and in the process giving the doctors and hospital his life's savings. The doctor looked insulted and my grandfather stood up and simply said no thanks. As my grandfather was leaving the doctor pulled me back and said there were ways he could legally force my grandfather to undergo chemotherapy if family members would agree. I simply said no, and then he mumbled something to effect of "you ignorant trash!". I turned on my heels, put my fist to his face and asked him if he would like me to show him what ignorant trash was capable of. Then he yelled for security..." - Visitor comment by "Speak" posted below the article.

https://sg.news.yahoo.com/treatment-comfort-stage-cancer-113531606.html

(Be sure to read the visitor comments below the article linked above).

 

[Agoraphobic]

It is sad when one receives news that one is suffering from cancer. It is almost like a death sentence. We know very little about cancer, let alone how to treat it. Doctors, and other specialists in the field themselves do know diddly about cancer, all they know is to send the patient for chemotherapy and hope the patient survives long enough to go for repeated treatment. If one wishes to treat cancer, then any treatment the patient is comfortable with is okay. They are all unproven. Your grandfather's approach seems well, mature. Why overeact? At least he doesn't burden the rest of the family with the onus of medical treatment. I do not know how I would react if a doctor told me I was suffering from cancer, or any other terminal case disease. But will remember this story of how your grandfather handled it. Good luck and all the best to your Ah Kong!

Cheers!

 

[KuanTi01]

As I pen my little contribution here, let me share something very personal. My mom is dying right before my very eyes. From a plump cheerful old woman of 78 years old 6 months ago on Deepavali, she is now mere skin and bones. I see her life ebbing away at home. You see she was hospitalised after I took her to SGH A & E Dept. She had complained of abdominal pains .After scans & tests, she was diagnosed as suffering from end stage colo-rectal cancer. After surgery & a 2 week stay thereafter, she was moved to St Andrews Community Hospital. Her final stop has been her own bedroom till todate. The rate of deterioration is so hard to accept in this age of great medical advances in cancer treatment. It leaves us family members so conflicted & demoralised. We were told that after about 8 weeks of post-op recovery, my mom should go for palliative radiation/chemotherapy to slow down the cancer spread. But as the oldest sib, I stood my ground. My mom's doctors were very helpful but not totally convincing. Thinking back, my decision to put my mom under palliative care at home was the best decision. We provided our own unique 24/7 devotional care. No doubt it was always going to be an unwinnable war but we are grateful that we won many battles together. These past months have certainly been the happiest & most meaningful months for our mom. Her mind is now at peace & despite the pain & wreckage wrought on her body, her mind remains defiant & lucid right until the bitter end. My mom is gasping her final hours even as I conclude this piece. The end is near but a whole new world beckons. Peace!

 

[Leongsam]

It is sad when one receives news that one is suffering from cancer. It is almost like a death sentence. We know very little about cancer, let alone how to treat it. Doctors, and other specialists in the field themselves do know diddly about cancer, all they know is to send the patient for chemotherapy and hope the patient survives long enough to go for repeated treatment. If one wishes to treat cancer, then any treatment the patient is comfortable with is okay. They are all unproven. Your grandfather's approach seems well, mature. Why overeact? At least he doesn't burden the rest of the family with the onus of medical treatment. I do not know how I would react if a doctor told me I was suffering from cancer, or any other terminal case disease. But will remember this story of how your grandfather handled it. Good luck and all the best to your Ah Kong!

Cheers!

Unless I have some unfinished business, I'll opt for zero treatment. Just give me something for the pain and something to speed up the process.

 

[zhihau]

Unless I have some unfinished business, I'll opt for zero treatment. Just give me something for the pain and something to speed up the process.

A nice dose of barbiturates usually do the trick. Euphoria before you're on the road.

 

[The_Hypocrite]

All cancers should be treated as the end game. To go for treatment is to be a burden on the family n to self torture. In addition..the beneficiaries r the doctors n medical corporations.

 

[Leongsam]

All cancers should be treated as the end game. To go for treatment is to be a burden on the family n to self torture. In addition..the beneficiaries r the doctors n medical corporations.

This is the most sensible advice regarding cancer that I have ever seen...


http://news.sky.com/story/1400663/cancer-is-the-best-way-to-die-says-doctor

 

[The_Hypocrite]

Unless I have some unfinished business, I'll opt for zero treatment. Just give me something for the pain and something to speed up the process.

Well said Boss Sam.. One of the few times u make sense..

 

[Hans168]

"When my grandfather found out he had cancer all he said was, "well, that explains it." He then listened to the doctor for about five minutes before he interupted and him and said straight faced if I do the treatments how long will I live. The doctor said there was no way of knowing but at least 6 months. My grandfather then asked him if he thought it made any sense to spend the last of his life fighting something that was going to kill him regardless and in the process giving the doctors and hospital his life's savings. The doctor looked insulted and my grandfather stood up and simply said no thanks. As my grandfather was leaving the doctor pulled me back and said there were ways he could legally force my grandfather to undergo chemotherapy if family members would agree. I simply said no, and then he mumbled something to effect of "you ignorant trash!". I turned on my heels, put my fist to his face and asked him if he would like me to show him what ignorant trash was capable of. Then he yelled for security..." - Visitor comment by "Speak" posted below the article.

https://sg.news.yahoo.com/treatment-comfort-stage-cancer-113531606.html

(Be sure to read the visitor comments below the article linked above).

yes many in the trade thrive on medical pains of others.......... may they rot in hell

 

[Hans168]

This is the most sensible advice regarding cancer that I have ever seen...


http://news.sky.com/story/1400663/cancer-is-the-best-way-to-die-says-doctor

was con't to lecture the unfinished biz of Prof Leong Siew Meng???

 

[scroobal]

Sorry to hear about your mum's condition and thanks for sharing your experience. I have seen the emotions and burden on families especially one or two in the family that end up doing the most. I have lot of respect for them. I am also glad that your mum is in the state where she is lucid and peaceful when the time comes.

As I pen my little contribution here, let me share something very personal. My mom is dying right before my very eyes. From a plump cheerful old woman of 78 years old 6 months ago on Deepavali, she is now mere skin and bones. I see her life ebbing away at home. You see she was hospitalised after I took her to SGH A & E Dept. She had complained of abdominal pains .After scans & tests, she was diagnosed as suffering from end stage colo-rectal cancer. After surgery & a 2 week stay thereafter, she was moved to St Andrews Community Hospital. Her final stop has been her own bedroom till todate. The rate of deterioration is so hard to accept in this age of great medical advances in cancer treatment. It leaves us family members so conflicted & demoralised. We were told that after about 8 weeks of post-op recovery, my mom should go for palliative radiation/chemotherapy to slow down the cancer spread. But as the oldest sib, I stood my ground. My mom's doctors were very helpful but not totally convincing. Thinking back, my decision to put my mom under palliative care at home was the best decision. We provided our own unique 24/7 devotional care. No doubt it was always going to be an unwinnable war but we are grateful that we won many battles together. These past months have certainly been the happiest & most meaningful months for our mom. Her mind is now at peace & despite the pain & wreckage wrought on her body, her mind remains defiant & lucid right until the bitter end. My mom is gasping her final hours even as I conclude this piece. The end is near but a whole new world beckons. Peace!

 

[scroobal]

The advanced medical directive or its equivalent should be explained to everyone. I have met children of those who passed away having done the AMD and the relief is obvious. When there is none, the default position by a country mile is continued treatment, resuscitation and its repetitive cycle. I have also heard stories of medical doctors who have discreetly approached saner relatives on instructions for resuscitation!

https://www.moh.gov.sg/content/moh_web/home/policies-and-issues/advance_medical_directiveamd.html

This is the most sensible advice regarding cancer that I have ever seen...


http://news.sky.com/story/1400663/cancer-is-the-best-way-to-die-says-doctor

 

[Thick Face Black Heart]

Kuanti,

Thanks for sharing.

 

[lifeafter41]

As I pen my little contribution here, let me share something very personal. My mom is dying right before my very eyes. From a plump cheerful old woman of 78 years old 6 months ago on Deepavali, she is now mere skin and bones. I see her life ebbing away at home. You see she was hospitalised after I took her to SGH A & E Dept. She had complained of abdominal pains .After scans & tests, she was diagnosed as suffering from end stage colo-rectal cancer. After surgery & a 2 week stay thereafter, she was moved to St Andrews Community Hospital. Her final stop has been her own bedroom till todate. The rate of deterioration is so hard to accept in this age of great medical advances in cancer treatment. It leaves us family members so conflicted & demoralised. We were told that after about 8 weeks of post-op recovery, my mom should go for palliative radiation/chemotherapy to slow down the cancer spread. But as the oldest sib, I stood my ground. My mom's doctors were very helpful but not totally convincing. Thinking back, my decision to put my mom under palliative care at home was the best decision. We provided our own unique 24/7 devotional care. No doubt it was always going to be an unwinnable war but we are grateful that we won many battles together. These past months have certainly been the happiest & most meaningful months for our mom. Her mind is now at peace & despite the pain & wreckage wrought on her body, her mind remains defiant & lucid right until the bitter end. My mom is gasping her final hours even as I conclude this piece. The end is near but a whole new world beckons. Peace!

Hi kuanti01, I understand what you mean......one of my relative also op for home palliative care till the very end. While hospice is an option, it's pretty expensive, cost aside, she prefers the palliative care in the comforts of home. Till the very end when she needs to be hospitalized due to falling oxygen intake. It was lung cancer. And did inform us that she does not want any tubes or resuscitation done on her.

Everything was normal and we visited her as what we will normally do....
I guess when one is facing the inevitable, acceptance is part of it and spending what's left of the remaining time with one loves one is the priority......

 

[kkbutterfly]

As I pen my little contribution here, let me share something very personal. My mom is dying right before my very eyes. From a plump cheerful old woman of 78 years old 6 months ago on Deepavali, she is now mere skin and bones. I see her life ebbing away at home. You see she was hospitalised after I took her to SGH A & E Dept. She had complained of abdominal pains .After scans & tests, she was diagnosed as suffering from end stage colo-rectal cancer. After surgery & a 2 week stay thereafter, she was moved to St Andrews Community Hospital. Her final stop has been her own bedroom till todate. The rate of deterioration is so hard to accept in this age of great medical advances in cancer treatment. It leaves us family members so conflicted & demoralised. We were told that after about 8 weeks of post-op recovery, my mom should go for palliative radiation/chemotherapy to slow down the cancer spread. But as the oldest sib, I stood my ground. My mom's doctors were very helpful but not totally convincing. Thinking back, my decision to put my mom under palliative care at home was the best decision. We provided our own unique 24/7 devotional care. No doubt it was always going to be an unwinnable war but we are grateful that we won many battles together. These past months have certainly been the happiest & most meaningful months for our mom. Her mind is now at peace & despite the pain & wreckage wrought on her body, her mind remains defiant & lucid right until the bitter end. My mom is gasping her final hours even as I conclude this piece. The end is near but a whole new world beckons. Peace!

I share your pain.thank for sharing

 

[lend me your wife]

Want to meet LKY?

Get your own sarcophagus?

 

[eatshitndie]

the most honorable and dignifiable is for the cancer patient to pass away at home with loved ones by the side. for those who kept vigil with patient at home, kudos to you. it's rare in sg and asian societies. most dying patients whom i've attended to wished to be within familiar surroundings and grasping the hands of loved ones during their passing. due to superstition, some children want death to happen in hospitals and not at their homes. they are afraid to bring "bad luck" to the home and that their homes may lose resale value - sinkies are constantly paranoid about losing stupid material value. one of the reasons why sinkies quickly dump their very elderly parents at local hospitals when something is amiss is not entirely about filial piety and love but paranoia and selfishness.