LTA's Transport Cartel Lackeys blame Windows for train gabras

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Transmodified from hxxp://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/1263026/1/.html

PEASANTPORE: Red faced Circle Line blamed an automatic train timetable scheduling system running on Windows experiencing software error on Thursday and causing grief to the train arrival times. To be more precise, on March 28 at about 8.10pm SMRT reported the infamous Blue Screen of Death cock up arrival times at many SMRT Circle White Elephant train lines.

After identifying Windows as a fall guy, Desperate Quack put up his vice lackey of corporate market to face queries from Mouthpiece Channel NewsAsia. Desperate Quack must be wondering why his Jewish deity never blessed him despite the cumming Good Friday holidays.

As usual, irate netizens took the opportunity to add oil to fire, made many gloating hotline calls about the incidents, making Desperate Quack look like a fool. It is understood some may have used Jane Austen style of writing and wrote long boring memorials to No Porn Lui regarding Desperate Quack's incompetence.

SMRT's vice lackey of corporate marketing & communications, Neh Neh Kalai Natarajan, said the Windows servers had to be restarted and added they contacted Micro$oft for the latest service packs to ensure the BSOD will be history. After a stupid reboot, SMRT finally crowed all trains were running in accordance to their schedules.

However the damage has been done, some trains had to be manually driven to be positioned at the correct station platforms while others had to be driven at a slower speed or temporarily held at some stations as another series of BSODs showed up and crashed another few Windows servers hosting other components of the scheduling software.

No Porn Lui directed LTA baboons to make several calls to SMRT outsourced IT Nehs, telling those bastards to get their fucking act together. In the meantime, SMRT outsourced IT Nehs had no choice but to restore the servers from tape backup at 8.30pm and all trains on the Circle Line returned to their regular schedule about 20 minutes later.

Peasants on board affected trains were informed by ISD agents posing as SMRT staff to shut their trap and not grumble about No Porn Lui or their names will be taken down for 'processing'.

SMRT said they are looking into ditching Windows 2008 and considering moving back to the more reliable Windows 3.11 Workgroup operating system.
 
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The only solution to all these software glitches is to march the entire IT department (which will comprised of 99% APunehs and 1 sinkie manager) out to the train tracks, and behead them. Than ask the Indian embassy to come an collect their headless corpses. Once you do this, than you will see the number of fake apuneh IT degree holders, lazy ass bluff apuneh IT talents, and no skill-but-rely-on-balls-licking apunehs suddenly disappear from all govt. IT depts. Nothing like death for a botched job to wake up a few ideas.
 
Bill Gates is no longer running the company, he is looking for a $100,000 condom, looks like SMRT will be needing that condom.
 
maybe they are still running windows 98?

ah nehs too poor cannot afford the latest dumb down windows 8?

just swipe and you are in.
 
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Shit continues to happen after butch Saw's departure.
Appears that army general is just as clueless
 
Shit continues to happen after butch Saw's departure.
Appears that army general is just as clueless

To their credit, they have got a rail company running, at that time, the expertise were the expat , the rail engineers from England, France etc. & after that, they have Butch Saw. They do not have a clue on how to run a rail company, not even the SAF scholar; good on paper only.
 
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