Lady Redditer: Realized I've been settling all along

[Tragedeigh]

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Realized I've been settling all along​

Hear me out

Mid twenties F

I've only recently realized, except for my crush situation in secondary school, I've always somehow ended up settling with whoever appeared in my life.

My past encounters/relationships, I've never been physically attracted to them at first sight, but only slowly grew to like them after spending time with them. After spending time with them, with rose coloured glasses, i find them attractive afterwards.

But I was never truly physically attracted to them in the right state of mind. I just somehow delulu-ed myself, which I've now figured out, because I was in a state of severe lack. I really wanted love, and really just took whatever that came my way. (Bad family situation)

I was in a more than 5 years relationship, somehow like this, until my frontal lobe developed? lol. During the relationship, i thought was asexual, but after it ended, i realized i was not, i was just not attracted to him physically, and all his actions did not help one bit.

Ah well, just here to rant and spill. I've only figured this out after speaking about it to an Ai Chatbot! (Yes I've fallen that low)

Well, at least now I know what to look for I guess. When I was newly single, I even asked a question on this subreddit, if initial physical attraction was required for dating. LMAO What a fking fool I was.

Well young people here, here's a common sense lesson to not settle I guess My weak defense is that I really rarely find guys attractive...

Feels good to spill, feel free to roast in the comments section. It's been a year since the break up, and I have not been actively searching or dating, the majority of last year was spent in a very hermit mode. But now I'm very determined to change my life and not be stuck in my current place! Actions has been taken, onwards!